|5/14/01||Mon||Last night I talked to Marc, then claimed the hold. I think it liked what I meant to do. Get a tatto of a waterlily to symbolize the oath, the connection. Because I have the mark now."
I'll try to keep the journal updated more now that I'm going to spend more time in the hold.
I'm worried about the other kids. I haven't seen Kayen. Onyx is worried. Someone attacked Stevie. I have not seen TJ. We have got to get organized. More latter.
|12/21/99||Tue||Last night Nick told me about the death threat. Someone wants him dead. Elena and me too. It has something to do with Elizabeth's death. Called Nick all kinds of horrid things. Blamed him for Elizabeth's death. The note was full of bible garbage, like the 10 commandants and the lords prayer.
The only bit of humor in the whole thing is that they called me Nick's little devil child.
We are hiding out and Nick is planning on moving. Patchin Place was getting a bit crowded.
|12/19/99||Sun||Last night we talked about our trip to see Elena's family. I just know they are going freak when the see Elena's instant family.
Nick gave me another gift, an early Christmas present. A book, "Midnight Swirling Fog Gloom". Someone named Elizabeth gave it to him, and now he is giving it to me. He said she would want me to have it. Elena gave me a leather bookbag. Before I could give them their gifts Elena had to run. I want to give it to them when they are together.
Latter, something weird happened. Someone painted a bloody cross out side the apartment. Nick told me someone has been messing with him.
|12/15/99||Wed||Rizzen calls me almost everyday just to check-up on me. Its nice. Last night he took me to Central Park. We ran into TJ there and then Nick. They took me to see the Duchess doctor. Something is going on Nick said the guards won't let commoners into the Tower. We got in but we were with Rizzen. Thinking back I must have made a rather grand entrance, riding piggy-back on Rizzen with Nick and TJ right behind us. The doc put got feather beds so that Nick and I could sleep by the fire for the night.|
|12/14/99||Tue||Found something for Nick! A CD called Chimera by Gayleen Froese. She is an independent artist who recorded the album in her bedroom. It arrived yesterday. She even personalized it, including a note in the package. Hopefully there will be some Glamour in it. Sounded great on the website. Can't wait till Nick plays it.|
|12/13/99||Mon||Elena got me gift! I haven't even given her hers yet. It's a silver bracelet. It's so pretty.|
|12/11/99||Sat||Last night I had a visitor. Rizzen. He's back. He still calling me sister. It's funny, I now have more family than I know what to do with. I don't want to hurt Rizzen's feelings, but I want to stay with Nick & Elena. I think Nick needs someone to take care of.
I think Rizzen feels quilty for leaving.
When I got up this morning Nick & Elena were still asleep. That gave me time to think. I want to stay with Nick & Elena. Together we might make a strange family, but that's what it feels like. FAMILY.
When Elena got up I told her about Rizzen's visit. She told me the choice was mine. We went for breakfast and shopping. I got Nick a guitar strap. Elena got him a guitar.
Later Nick and I talked. He meet Rizzen. I'm staying here. Everyone agrees. I then asked Nick if he would help me get a gift for Elena. He took me to Splendour Falls. I found a blue heart necklace for her. The stone is called Sodalite. It has a silver Tudor Rose on the front of it. I'm gonna have it engraved.
|12/9/99||Thu||Last night Nick took me home. He still wants to adopt me! I'm so happy. Not only does he want to keep me but he got me a killer computer. I know I'm not supposed to use it yet… All I did was hook it up, turn it on, and update my journal.
I'm so happy. When Nick tucked me in I told him I loved him but he did not hear me…
Sometimes Nick gets so sad. He told me about how his niece died. She would be my age. We are going to see if I can assume her identity. Nick has helped me so much. I hope I can help him too…
|12/8/99||Wed||Last night Nick came by. He says Bea thinks I should stay here for a few more days.
We talked about me going to school. I don't want to go back to public school. I showed him the website for The Beekman School. He liked it. I then pointed out the problems about getting me in. That my legal guardian (under my current ID) is not around to enroll me, my attendance records stink... Nick wants to adopt me!
I wish he could but... I told him I'm a runaway. That the name I go by now is fake. That Rizzen got me the ID's. We talked about me maybe hacking to get a new ID. But he told me to wait... It won't hurt to just look into what systems I would have to access...
Alice isn't so bad. I just don't know what to say to her. I wish she would stop trying to make me eat stuff. I love apples, they're just hard to eat without teeth...
|12/7/99||Tue||Played Quake2 today. I don't know how long I was on, but I finally beat StalkingU. I've never done that before in a deathmatch.
|12/6/99||Mon||They are going to make me go to school... Someone mentioned special schools... Today I looked up Petersons.com they had a list of private schools in NY. I found some that looked ok. I like The Beekman School.|
|12/5/99||Sun||Alice said my clothes were a mess. She took me shopping.|
|12/4/99||Sat||Nick came to visit me. I told Nick about Alice. Nick says Alice means well, but doesn't understand. I asked him when I could come home. He said he would ask Bea. I asked him how would know when I'm better. That's when he asked me to check my e-mail. All of the messages form Balok were gone. I asked him if it would be safe for me to play Quake. He didn't know, but after watching me play a deathmatch, he said I could play a little.
I can't wait till I'm all better...
Nick was wearing my pendant.
|12/3/99||Fri||Alice said I could use her computer, but I'm afraid too. Nick wouldn't let me keep my little one. He said something about it being a tool of Glamour. Is it safe to write in my journal? Is it safe to play games? I'm not going to check e-mail. I won't hack. I won't write any code. But I want to use it so much...|
|12/2/99||Thu||First Day: Nick says I'm in bedlam. Last night he took me to see the Countess. So many people where at Crystal Reaches when Nick brought me in, Countess Bea, Kayen, Violet, Marc, and some sluagh I did not really know. Then Mtoto and Hawk showed up. Hawk was shrunken. Good. They decided not to send me to the Iron Works. I was so scared of going there. Instead they decided I should stay with Alice, a mortal who works for the Countess. Nick took me to her place. I'm not supposed to do anything fae or see any of the fae. Nick took my pendant, voile, and my little computer. I liked staying with Nick and Elena...
I don't like being here. I had bad dreams last night. I'm bored and lonely... At least Alice is letting me use her computer... So I'll update my journal. Maybe that will help me.
Alice made me brush my teeth. It hurts. Alice also tried to make me eat a hamburger. I refued. She finally gave me soup...
|10/7/99||Thu||Meet Mathias today. He is a mortal looking for Marcos. I enchanted him. Odd that. 1. It was easy. 2. He did not seem surprised. 3. He knew an awful lot, like dross. Told him to look for Marco at the gym. Wrote some new slang.
Been spending more time in the Undercity and the Mews. Have been cutting school. Everything seems fine. I have not seen any of the warning signs.
|10/6/99||Wed||I know it has been nearly a month, but I've been busy. Met a sidhe name Madoc, he owns Dreamsoft, a software company. I can be head playtester if I stay out of trouble. So no viruses. Meet a nocker named James, said he could make a dreaming modem for me and teach me some nocker stuff. He is naive. The grew is working on a big prank, something for the whole city. It will be grand. Research is done. Now it is time for the magic. Note to self turn off computer.|
|9/12/99||Sun||More soul searching at the Mighty THUNDERKITTY. Which is like a freehold. Are we risking Bedlam hanging here too much? And what about the Star CHART is it Chimerical? What was I thinking about? Why am I being so nice to all these little PIPEs? Well my mother would be ashamed to hear it, but because they could be useful. Both Kayen and Stevie are titled, young and impressionable. Kayen at least is into CLOUDs. That can work for me. If I can earn their trust now it could help me when we are all grown up. It could even help them. I'll scratch their backs...
Does this attitude make me that evil? NO. Everyone does it. They just aren’t honest enough to admit it. Here I'll explain.
Shahar, she wanted information and she needs to be needed. So she acted like a big sister to me.
Rizzen, he wanted information and had a desire to protect something. So he became my big brother.
Carad, well he is very needy and protective, the more people he has to protect the happier he is.
Shoo, he wants a co-conspirator.
Kayen, wants reassurance and friendship.
Sceadu, wants someone he can mold in his own image.
Myself, I need to be appreciated for my skills. I don't care if people like me, or even hate me, just as long as they respect what I can do.
|9/11/99||Sat||Today I learned that Stevie does not know how to read. He does not even know the ABC song. What has Bea been teaching that child. Well I'm gonna teach him. In the back of my mind I think maybe he is just playing pooka trick on me. If so he is a fine actor.
The DANCE JODY are planning a big CLOUD. I'll need to do some hacking ;). Guess that means I'm going back to the FRESH.
|9/10/99||Fri||I started to hack the Duchess today. Knowledge is Power...|
|9/8/99||Wed||Last night took James and Jody (the mortal he enchanted) to Ivy Towers. Everyone was there it seemed. Nick left before I could ask him about the fight. We tried to prank Madoc. Did not do it though. It did bug him. Well I reacted again, Mtoto was talking like he did not believe what I have told him. So I practically told them all that I was going to send out a virus on the 15th. Now I can send it and risk losing a job with Madoc at his software company, or not send it and risk having Mtoto telling people I'm full of it. Not that I really expect Madoc to come through on his offer. We kids were using the OLD JACK. It was such a STEFFI. James thought it meant nothing.
Started School today. Why does it have to be so boring? I love to learn but school just sucks. Teacher asked about the bandage, I gave her convincing story. I hope.
|9/7/99||Tue||Well, so much seems to have happened. Cherrie has been missing. They were trying to rescue her last night. Kayen is worried about Vi slipping back into Bedlam. Speaking of Bedlam I'm worried about Amyl she did not seem right. Shoo told me that something was trying to eat Raspberry. Nick and Sceadu got into some kind of argument, which ended when Kayen and I showed up. To bad. I did not like Nick's attitude. Been thinking about a new virus. Part Michelangelo and part Melissa. First it will mail itself to the victims friends (spreading it even more :) ). Then it will destroy all the data on the hard drive. Might use a Word macro to execute it. I know that will limit to Word users but...|
|9/2/99||Thu||It's done. I feel great. Slept like a stone afterwards though. Not only did the casting work, but the baby will not be affected. I dreamed about the vision while I slept. Only I saw everything as if it was happening to me. She is going to suffer. I'm so happy. No regrets. I also feel like I have a family again. Kith is stronger than blood, that is for sure. S called me his daughter.|
|9/1/99||Wed||Can't wait for tonight. It feels like the pulse of every sluagh is racing with anticipation.|
|8/31/99||Tue||Spending time at the heart seem to make me way too thoughtful. Last night I remembered what Robin said about Shooly, with such clarity it was creepy. "He's as unseelie as a childling pooka gets. We're creatures of the sun. He's a creature of twilight. Sometimes that scarier than a creature of midnight. You know where you stand at midnight, but at twilight the shadows are too long to make a good guess."|
|8/30/99||Mon||Got word form S. the motley will do the casting on Wednesday. Another crawler joined us tonight.|
|8/28/99||Sat||While sitting with my back up against the altar, listening to the heartbeat of the city, I remembered this conversation I heard. It was at Patsy's, a real good pizza place (it's worth the banality to eat there. After all how much tea and rotting bread can one sluagh eat.). Well it was lunch on a Friday and at a big table 8 people were eating and teasing one another.
One guy was teasing a woman calling her a geek. Everyone agreed with him. After a while she admitted that in some situations she is a geek. So then they turned on the guy, wanting to know why he always started thing. They called him an instigator. He said he liked to make people get ugly with themselves.
Well that set the whole table off, but eventually he explained what he meant. That he liked to make people be honesty with themselves. So that's what I've been thinking about, sitting here while the pulse of the city pounds inside my skull. Thinking and rereading my journal.
There are things that I have left out, not wanting them to fall into the wrong hands. But then there are things I should have left out for the same reasons, but didn't.
So what have I learned? That I'm a rotten, nasty, unseelie, spoiled sluagh childling. And I don't really care.
Do I regret uploading the 'Nightmare' virus? No. Hell I'm working on one that is much worse. Do I regret joining the Fires of Fate Motley. No. Screw the nobles, and not just the sidhe, but all them arrogant titled bastards.
What about Sir William Rizzen Dyer of house Liam? I think I would choose to spare him. Why? Because I care for my new 'brother' or because he has proven useful? Both I think, but mostly because he has been useful. He agreed to help me with my 'legal' problems in exchange for some hacking. He got me some fake ID's (birth certificate, passport, and school records. He did not have to share his name with me. He called me, a sluagh, his sister.
Did I give Shahar that H/PC because I will miss her or because it will be useful to me? Again both.
Do I regret the motley's choice of it's first target, or my part in that choosing? No, for she has no love of my ktih, and only was nice to me when she thought she could use me. (I know I use people too, so what?) One scale from her pretty tail and her fate will be sealed.
My only hesitation comes from fear. Fear of what they may do to me if they find out. But I have survived the hunt for Skorpion. And it is not like hacking Clem and Balok were the safest thing one could do.
One day I think Shooly tried to lure me into a trap. It was while Clem was being held at the tower. Shoo and I were hanging out and he suggested going to the Road House. He seemed nervous and then he left. I had heard rumors about a 'rescue' plan to free Clem and knew that the Road House was one of the bars that Clem had frequented. Did Shoo bring me there to be a victim or to aid in freeing Clem? I don't think I will ever know.
Speaking of Shoo, Robin said something about him. About children of day, night, and twilight. And how Shoo was a child of twilight, and at twilight you can't see because of the shadows. Or something. Pooka They can be such a pain.
|8/27/99||Fri||Meet Marc, a new sluagh and Enda, a sidhe in Central Park sometime after midnight. But had to run because I might have had a bit on one of my projects. Didn't pan out though. Latter I meet Shahar and Angela at the waffle place. I said goodbye to Shahar. I gave her a handheld pc with a modem so we can stay in touch. I did not put any viruses on it , but was very tempted. The waffle place seems popular with the mer. Angela is a mer now. At another table was one from that Irish kiths, like the barkeep down at the corners. He was dressed as a priest and talking on a cell phone. He sounded more like a criminal than a priest. I might be able to get some work there.|
|8/26/99||Thu||Have to find Cherrie.|
|8/25/99||Wed||Fires of Fate Motley is born. Beware all those who treat the sluagh unfairly.|
|8/24/99||Tue||Worked on the old jack. Worked on my new 'project'. It will be worse than 'Nightmare'|
|8/23/99||Mon||Well Carad did not file a police report.|
|8/22/99||Sun||Meet Cherrie today. She is the Local mer. Carad's Trueheart. She does not like my kith, that is for sure. Nearly bit my head off for asking if she was ok. She did not look ok, by no means, sorta spaced if you ask me. She dinna start acting polite until I mentioned Carad. And the Pooka call us cold fish... I told Cherrie that I would see what I can find out online about the break-ins at Car's place. Ran into Katlin. She did not remember my name. Big surprise. She did remember the clothes stuffed with rats I found. When we got to the Fortuna, we joined Pen and Jean. They too did not remember me. I dislike being forgot, but well I guess it has its advantages. Picked up some trivia about Hill House and Evermoor.|
|7/28/99||Wed||Sean's Birthday - I miss him.|
|7/15/99||Thu||Shoo is going to be my first student for the code. I am inviting the Motley to use my apartment. It's no bigy. I am setting up a new place one that will be real secret.|
|7/14/99||Wed||Childling Motley Freehold! I'm in!|
|7/13/99||Tue||Carad - said he will teach me how to use my knife. He wants info on Durante.|
|7/6/99||Tue||My knife arrived today, now I have to learn how to use it.|
|7/5/99||Mon||Every thing it good. Bank accounts, mac card, credit cards are coming, POBox, bills, my records. The only thing a hacker is going to find on Kerrigan Shii Dyer is: what school I'm in, that my guardian is William R. Dyer, where we live, (the address is fake), and I have $300 in the bank. And that should be hard to find since Shii is my middle name.|
|6/30/99||Wed||Made a new outfit. It was not hard. Its just a tie-dyed sheet worn like a arisaid. Green, gray and black. Good camouflage. Maybe I can get someone to make me a broach.|
|6/29/99||Tue||Ordered a knife on line. Saw some nice blowguns, that might be something to get.|
|6/28/99||Mon||I moved into the new apartment that Rizzen got me. He is good. I have new id's. A apartment. The place is a dump and the land lord is well not all there. Which is great. I have some work to do. Make some changes to the new identity he got me. A mortal to open a bank account under the fake id I made. Get a post office box then too. Have all the utils under that name. Hack myself. Clean it up. Fiddle with the addresses. Don't want to be easy to find.|
|6/20/99||Sun||Father's day - I miss my family. Sean most of all. I wonder how his writing is.|
|6/5/99||Sat||Rizzen want info on Clem and Balok.|
|6/3/99||Thu||Offer to join Rizzen when he gets the Winged Serpent|
|5/22/99||Sat||Shahar wants info on Rizzen|
|5/21/99||Fri||Went to Crystal Reaches Castle. Bea was going to send people on a quest. I was pretty much ignored. That's ok. Maximillian, Rizzen, and Shahar were there.|
|5/18/99||Tue||Two more clippings from the news. 10 year old Katherine Sloan Hunter (Sloani) has been missing since Tuesday. (picture of Shii). She was last seen at school. If you see her please call police at 800-xxx-xxxx. The search for Skorpion, the hacker suspected of writing the "Nightmare" virus has been tracked to New York City. Police are looking for another local hacker with whom Skorpion was in contact with. Authorities are hoping that kaäs kid can provide information about the identity and whereabouts of Skorpion.|
|5/14/99||Fri||Damn! Hacked the cops. They are looking for kaäs kid. That's not good. Why did I ever logon with that account from home. They are very close to finding me. Got to split. First things first though. Destroy everything. Repartition hard drive on pc. Take all disks. Get all print outs. Pack some clothes. Ok I have a plan. I can hide out in the sewers and freeholds.|
|5/12/99||Wed||Meet Shahar, she seem nice. Treats me better than most.|
|5/11/99||Tue||I have to be careful with my personal info. Don't want people know to much. Don't want them knowing anything! Except that I the best with a computer.|
|5/10/99||Mon||I sneaked out early and left a message for Valance at his hold. Told him I want to study with him. Gave him my address and told him he could reach me there if he wanted to teach me. I now wish I did not give him the address. I was just to excited about learning some magic. I have got to control that. Reacting is bad! It makes you do thinks that you have not planned out.|
|5/9/99||Sun||Mother's Day - Well sorta. Mom spent it teaching a class. Dad at a computer fair. Sean let me run wild. In other words I spent it looking for other fae. Found the a way into the sewers. Spent the morning exploring. I meet Valance after I feel out to the drainage pipe into the river. He invited me back to his hold and had his servant clean up my clothes. He even offered to teach me. But I had to go home before we could work out the details. Mom wanted to have a family dinner. Parents! They can get in the way of everything.|
|5/6/99||Thu||Damn! It worked. A newspaper clipping is taped into the dairy here. Headline of article reads "Computer Virus Attacks Systems." Today thousands if not millions of computer systems where crippled by a devastating new virus. The virus dubbed "Nightmare" is a combination e-mail virus and a destructive program that erases vital files from a computer's hard drive. It is spread by a e-mails warning about a computer virus named "Nightmare". The authorities are not releasing an further information about the virus to prevent copycats. Authorities are looking for a hacker call Skorpion who is suspected of writing the virus.|
|5/1/99||Sat||Sent my 'Nightmare'.|
|4/20/99||Tue||Meet Raspberry and Kenerik at Central Park.|
|4/14/99||Wed||Found the O Fortuna Café. Meet Leah and Jennifer.|
|4/13/99||Tue||Found the Brass Bear. Meet Amalthea. Found Ivy Towers. Saw a fox pooka. Beautiful female wilder.|
|4/7/99||Wed||Going IC for first time !!!|
|2/24/99||Wed||Well Sama will not be teaching me any more. She caught me picking pockets and guessing peoples PINs. I used Fair Fortune to increase my luck when I guess the PINs.
To bad she has not introduced me to any other fae yet. Or tell me where to find them! She wanted to make sure I under the 'Rules' first! Well to hell with the rules and her. And boggans for that matter.
|2/23/99||Tue||First Log On|
|2/10/99||Wed||Fae Past - Been trying to figure out some things. What's with my voile and pendant? Well things keep coming to me. I have also searched on the net.
My voile is based on 16th century Scottish clothing. The shirt/dress thing is a léine, the jacket - an ionar, and the plaid - an arisaid. The tartan is from the area my ancestors are from. Weird huh? It gets weirder.
It gets weirder. The pendant has a crest on it. It is for the Sloan family. That was my Great Grand mother's last name. The stone looks like bloodstone, but it could not be. Bloodstone contains iron. It is also known as the martyr's stone.
I asked my mom about My Great Grandma. Weirder still I share her name (She asked in her will that mom name her first daughter after her.), her birthday, and look like her. Sean says I act like her too. Mom showed me photo of her and she was wearing a pendant just like mine. Just way to weird.
When I woke up this morning things were strange and they were all day. Samantha was waiting outside the apartment when I left for school and she took me by the arm.
She took me to her house and explained that she could feel me enter my 'Chrysalis'. She was going to take care of my folks and school and that we were going to have a wonderful day.
Ok, so she is not nuts, and neither am I. Well sorta. She reminds me of the old woman who made the gingerbread man.
|1/26/99||Tue||Well, She told me to call her Samantha (or Sama) and that she was a faerie. A boggan. She said I was a faerie too, but just waking up. Everything sounded so crazy, but it made sense.
She said that I would be going through my 'Chrysalis' soon and then the weirdness will sorta settle down. To being weird all the time. She said she would be happy to be my mentor. Well I don't know maybe she is just some loony.
|1/25/99||Mon||Well, I told mom that things are still bothering me. She took me to the doctor. When I looked at the receptionist, I thought she had funny eyebrows and well she looked like the picture in the kids book about the little people who made the all those shoes over night. But then I looked again and she was normal.
The doctor said my test were fine. But my ears and eyes weren't bothering me during the tests, so of course they were fine.
The doctor's receptionist just called. She told my mom that I left a school book at the office and asked to speak to me. She said she could explain everything if I would meet her after school tomorrow. Well what do I have to lose right?
|1/24/99||Sun||Thinks kept getting worse last week. I thought I saw a girl with a tail! And all the Halloween freaks, but when I look everything is normal. Gods sometimes when I look in the mirror, I think I see a corpse.|
|1/18/99||Mon||Mom thinks I'm fine so to school I go :(|
|1/17/99||Sun||I don't know when I started to notice it but everything seems brighter and louder. It is a bit annoying. Maybe I'm getting sick. I wouldn't mind staying home from school. I could work on my 'project'.|
|1/10/99||Sun||Sean just finished a new bunch of ghost stories. I printed a copy to keep. I love his stories. Odd how they don't seem that scary me anymore. I mean they are still good. But they don't scare me.|
|1/3/99||Sun||I have figured out Dad password for the central computer. It was not hard. He used my grandma's name and birthday. I find that funny since they hate each other. She never wanted Mom to marry him. It is bad security to use family names and birthdays, but since it was his 'mother-in-law' I think it works.
Why do people use things like that for their passwords? Are they all forgetful?
|1/2/99||Sat||Mom made me go to her yoga class today. I would rather be with dad working on that network he is planning. I hate yoga!|
|1/1/99||Fri||New Years Day - Big deal. Why do the grownups think its fun to get drunk? They look so stupid.|
Last updated 5/14/01