A lot has been said about this subject, but I think there is need to say a few things more.

Love is one of the most flaunted subjects or principles in the Church and in the world at large and, trust the devil, it is the most abused of them. It is easy to say that love is not equivalent to sex; that has been elaborately stressed in the Church over time, in fact, that knowledge has, to an extent, become part of secular culture (howbeit, in a perverted form). But what, at my observation, is referred to as love in the body of Christ smells fishy to me somewhat.

The problem I have with the ‘love’ in the Church is that, when my relationship with God (and it is a pretty involving relationship) developed, I tested Him on every point I could dream up using the Bible as a reference point, and found Him consistent, but I could never relate Him with the ‘love’ I saw in the Church; it just did not fit on Him.

It was not a small matter. In fact, it was a major stumbling block for my faith in the Spirit of God at work in me. I was always at two minds as to the nature of the spirit at work within me because; He confirmed every thing the Bible stood for but did not quite fit the ‘love’ image. “Could this be a familiar spirit? Could I be deceived and have been carried away by a ‘angel of light’?” I kept asking myself. Everybody around me seamed to think so; could they be right and I wrong?

The matter is further complicated by facts; facts of His power. I was facing demons in head on conflicts, and there was none who could withstand Him. I was facing demonic strongholds and many spiritual problems, and none survived His will; they all collapse with visible (in my perception) results, and the results were always good; things always went from bad to good if He have His way.

He never at any time forced Himself on me, although He can be forceful. I always had my say and I always make the final decision weather a plan is to go ahead. He always makes it worth my while when I let Him Have His way; in fact, He warns me when a venture would not be worth my while; even when it is just simply unnecessary.

This problem was so much to me, to the extent that I stopped caring for myself; I was actually looking for a situation where He has His way and fails to deliver. To this day, I have found none.

The people around me always, at every opportunity accused me of not having love; that all I had, since I did not have ‘love’, was nothing. I know those verses and I respect them, but here was I, with a relationship with a spirit that was apparently God (the God that IS Love). Everyday, my relationship with Him was abounding and prosperous, but all the same, I did not know what ‘love’ was.

Finally I asked Him about it one day. I said, “You have been teaching me a lot about warfare and al that, but you have not taught me love. Teach me love”. He was obviously offended, He said “How much of what those people call love do you see in me”. I said “none”. He said, “Describe me in words”. I could only describe Him as ‘good will’;Jer. 29:11

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end”. 

Love is an attitude; it is a decision to seek what is for the good of another. It is not an emotion and it is not subject to moods. It is a determination to pursue that which will result in the well being of the other. Love is an attitude, not an act; attitudes prompt actions, but we can act without the attitude; actions do not presuppose attitudes.

What most of us call love in the church is actually cultural in nature. It is a form of Church culture or pair culture. It is a set of acts and behavior patterns that give for pleasant social co-existence but does not require a set attitude to adopt. That is why the ‘love’ of most of us can lead away from God.

One thing I know of the love of God is. His love is not demanding. What I mean is, He does not force us to ‘honor’ Him with our ‘love’. His love originates from Him and ends with Him; His satisfaction comes in seeing His good intentions come to be in the life of the objects of His love. He only desires us to appreciate His love so that He can continue to show His love to us; our in-appreciation could often stand in the way of His further extending His love to us as He would not force His love on us. I have seen the Holy Spirit literally in tears, but at no time have I felt Him demanding love from me. I have come to the point that I feel like I have to protect God from having Him greave over what my simple sympathy with His plan would solve; from having Him caught between His love for me and His faithfulness to His word and principle.

The love I see in the Church is one that demands. It is a covetous love. It asks and asks and demands to be loved and obeyed, and gives nothing in return. It also stops if its demands are not given. Worst of all, the love of the church has become like the love of the world; it excludes Gods will and Lordship form the equation. It leads away from Gods leading and leads to mutual destruction. I have seen this happen over and over, and I am not yet 30!

The love of God is a thoughtful love; considerate and calculating on behalf of the recipient of His love. The love in the Church is very quick to pass judgment and spares no time to reason out the good of others. It centralizes on the comfort and desires of the giver of ‘love’.

The love of God is participation “for” the other person; not necessarily participation “with” the other (that is what the love of the Church amounts to). It is not looking for or trying to be a warm blanket for the other, it is trying to be a house to the other;

Zec. 3: 10

“10 In that day, saith the LORD of hosts, shall ye call every man his neighbour under the vine and under the fig tree.