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Daycare information you should know

This makes me want to cry... I can't help being sad for the thousands of children who go to day care... all because mommy AND daddy need to head out to work. Don't get me wrong, some people have no choice.... I still feel bad for the little ones... who did not choose to be born.

Here are some facts about leaving your child in a day care. To read entire story click on title
According to Karl Zinsmeister, children fare better when they are raised by their parents at home instead of by strangers in day care. He contends that parents and children need frequent, affectionate contact with each other to maintain strong family bonds. Zinsmeister maintains that parents should restructure their lives so that their children’s needs come before their own careers and financial goals. Karl Zinsmeister is the editor-in-chief of the American Enterprise, a national magazine of politics, business, and culture.


By Karl Zinsmeister


In a perfect world, there would be an abundance of intelligent, well-balanced, devoted individuals willing to attend lavishly and patiently to the demands of strangers’ children—enough so that every family who wanted could have their own full-time loving surrogate. These dream workers would all be willing to provide their services so cheaply that there would be little or no strain on family finances. And they would remain with the same family year after year, meshing perfectly with child, parents, and surroundings.


How do parents react to the disappointing standards of most hired care? Very often, by lowering their expectations. I was struck by a conversation my wife and I once had with three of our Washington, D.C. neighbors who used significant amounts of substitute care for their children. We asked them how they liked their current sitters. "This one’s good with children," replied the first. "She’s always proselytizing for the Jehovah’s Witnesses, though, and sometimes that annoys me." Another volunteered about her sitter: "She’s great. Except that she’s really incredibly lazy." "——— is nice, and we’re happy with her," answered the third, "but she smokes all the time, and never has the TV off."

Day care-using parents make minor compromises like these by the millions. 


A fairly typical visit at a daycare:

The teacher watching the children tried her hardest, ad-libbing her way from one activity to the next. She put on a record and started to dance. One little blond boy started dancing along with her. A few others joined the group. Five or six gathered by some swinging cabinet doors that formed the partition between the play area and the rest of the room. One little girl sat by herself, crying softly in the corner. The rest wandered around....

Here as at other centers I visited, you could almost feel the morning driving itself toward the grand finale—lunch.


"We typically saw scenes like this," the Dreskins write:

Carl’s mother arrives at 6:00 p.m., tired and frazzled. Carl tries to show her a picture he has painted. ‘Show me later. Get your lunch box. Come on.’ She is already halfway out the door. Carl trails after her, crying at the rebuff and at the effort of trying to balance his painting, his lunch box, his fire engine, and the cup of fruit salad he made in a cooking project that afternoon. We can tell from his mother’s mood what sort of evening Carl will have. So much for the precious two hours he will get to spend with his mother between leaving day care and going to bed.


"For two years we watched day care children respond to the stresses of eight to ten hours a day of separation from their parents with tears, anger, withdrawal, or profound sadness," the Dreskins write, "and we found, to our dismay, that nothing in our own affection and caring for these children would erase this sense of loss and abandonment." 

--Parents who push their children out into the world before they are ready do them no favors-- 


I remember one two-year-old in Washington, D.C., for instance, who would shake and whimper, frantically clutch her stuffed animal, and finally curl herself on the floor in a tight crouch, refusing to be comforted, on many mornings when she was dropped off. 


In groundbreaking mid-1950s research, Yale professors Sally Provence and Rose Lipton examined infants who spent a considerable part of their first year in superior institutions. They found that these youngsters suffered incapacities in all areas of physical and mental development compared to home-reared children, and their deficits did not disappear when they were moved into home settings by age one. Follow-up work showed that these parent-deprived children never fully overcame their physical, cognitive, and emotional impairments. When it became clear how much these youngsters had withered, most of the group homes were shut down.

Along these same lines, a different article I wrote on day care for the Washington Post produced a response from an intelligent 33-year-old mother of two living in Falls Church, Virginia. "I am a home day care provider," she began.

I care for a 19-month-old girl, the daughter of close friends of mine, who I’ve cared for since she was four months old. I normally have her four days a week, 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.... For many months this child cried and held her arms out to me every time her mother came to pick her up. I know her parents very well and feel certain that nothing resembling abuse or neglect was going on. After ruling that out it seemed that the child had made a conscious choice and preferred me to her mother. This has been difficult for both me and my friend.... This baby, unlike a child at home full time with his mother, was given another option and chose not to bond with her mother, to instead bond with me. I think this is an awful situation to put an infant in. To deprive a baby of the close, intense relationship with one caring, loving person, which I believe is critical in infancy, both for the child and the adult, negates the very basis from which emotional security derives.

Another one:

I can tell you that before my year in day care work was over, my co-workers and I were able to convince five of the 12 mothers whose children we cared for that they would be happier, and that their parent-child relationships would be healthier, if they would quit their jobs and would stay at home with their children. Our "babies" are five years old now, and we still stay in touch with their parents. That early bonding—unfortunately between us and the babies, instead of between the babies and their parents—is such a powerful human emotion that it never goes away, no matter how many years pass or how circumstances change. No parent or child should miss out on that experience.

 The Washington Post has quoted Jeree Pawl, director of the infant-parent program at the University of California-San Francisco, saying, "in most day cares, it’s a pecking order; it’s like a bunch of wild chickens in a hen yard." 


Dorothy Conniff, the Wisconsin day care chief, did some calculations back in 1988 of how much time it took to provide an infant with just the barest maintenance. She then translated that into the very best day care settings:

Consider the amount of physical care and attention a baby needs—20 minutes for feeding every three hours or so, and ten minutes for diapering every two hours or so, and time for the caregiver to wash her hands thoroughly and sanitize the area after changing each baby. In an 81/2 hour day, then, a caregiver working under the most stringent regulation—the 4:1 ratio—will have 16 diapers to change and 12 feedings to give.

Four diaper-changes and three feedings apiece is not an inordinate amount of care over a long day from the baby’s point of view.

But think about the caregiver’s day: Four hours to feed the babies, two hours and 40 minutes to change them. If you allow an extra two-and-a-half minutes at each changing to put them down, clean up the area, and thoroughly wash your hands...that makes seven hours and 20 minutes of the day spent just on physical care—if you’re lucky and the infants stay conveniently on schedule.

Since feeding and diaper-changing are necessarily one-on-one activities, each infant is bound to be largely unattended during the five-plus hours that the other three babies are being attended to. So if there’s to be any stimulation at all for the child, the caregiver had better chat and play up a storm while she’s feeding and changing.


"Anyone who has spent time in a day care center knows that it is not a place where children can ‘do their own thing,’" 

"It means separation from the day-to-day world of home and neighborhood, it means the loss of the opportunity to do what you want when you want to do it, including sometimes just doing nothing at all. And it means the loss of privacy and solitude."

This is Ashley’s day: 

She gets up very early and is driven by her mother from Oakland, N.J. to the train station in Ramsey. They park. They board the 6:22 a.m. local to Hoboken. In Hoboken they jump a Trans-Hudson subway. From the top of the subway stairs they stroller several blocks to Ashley’s day care center. She stays there all day, then reverses her commute. All told, Ashley’s "workday" is 12 hours long.

Welcome to the baby rat race, Ashley.

This is the scary side of NOT staying at home. A wonderful mom found a way to stay home! follow this link to her short story showing you how a home based business works.

Read more by going to The Problem with Day Care 

I hope you can make the wise choice of being with your child, who loves you so much! 

I can say I have successfully stayed home with my child. My daughter just started FIRST GRADE and I did not miss any of her awesome milestones. The Lord has blessed us with many blessings, including but not limited to a decent place to live that we now own, two cars, a healthy family, a ton of Christian friends, hand-me-downs for my daughter to wear, an incredible gift of quilting and be able to make them and give them out.... just by trusting in Him! 

You can too Find out how Find the answer Read My Faith







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