Lids fluttered open ever so slowly revealing soft brown eyes
illuminated by the moonlight that leaked through the curtained windows. The
room was shrouded in a cloak of silence, the only exception being the sound of
his lover softly snoring beside him. Sitting up quietly so as not to wake his
companion, a slim hand with long, slender fingers swept through a mass of
silky, fiery red hair. Sakuragi had no idea why he woke up so suddenly, all he
knew was that he couldn't get back to sleep. Turning toward the direction of
his bedside table, the time 3:00A.M showed on the digital clock. Sakuragi
turned to gaze at his lover being bathed in the moonlight. His black ebony
hair and porcelain skin absorbing the light which gave him an ethereal
appearance, a soft glow gently alighting his body.
For the past few days, Sakuragi had found himself waking up for no reason at
all hours of the night. And just as he was doing now, he spent those nights
observing his lover while he slept. Tonight, however, was different. Sakuragi
reluctantly tore his gaze away and slowly got up from the comforts of his bed.
Sakuragi was donning on a black silk robe that Kaede gave him for Christmas,
tying it loosely at the waist. The robe was made out of the finest silk giving
the wearer the feeling that he was wearing nothing at all. The combination of
the illuminating moonlight, the contrast of the black robe to his pale skin
and fiery red hair, and the way the silk material attached itself to all the
right places, swaying along with his hips in an erotic dance as he walked was
a sin in itself. The hem reaching just below the knee, but still revealing
enough of his long, finely muscled legs to make even the most virtuous man's
imagination run wild. Sakuragi was the embodiment of sexual desires, radiating
sex, sin, lust, and all the other dark forbidden fantasies men and women
secretly imagine. Even after having received the robe for more than a year, he
still felt uncomfortable with the look Kaede always gave him when he wore the
robe. He could clearly detect the unconcealed lust in his deep blue eyes.
Shaking such distracting thoughts from his mind, Sakuragi cautiously went down
the stairs, feet padding softly on the thick, crème-colored carpet. Letting
his familiarity with the house guide him through the darkness, he eventually
found himself before a closed door he was heading for. Turning the knob
slowly, Sakuragi pushed the door open taking utmost care so no creaking could
be heard. Pausing at the doorway, Sakuragi studied his study. Yes, HIS, study
room. As unbelievable as it may seem, Sakuragi loves to read and when he and
Rukawa began to live together, he insisted that one of the spare rooms be
renovated into a study.
Sakuragi loved to spend time in the study, reveling in the calm and comforting
atmosphere that the place always gave him. Today, however, instead of the
atmosphere being calm and comforting, it was full of anxiety and fear. Taking
slow, steady steps, Sakuragi walked toward the cabinet that aligned one of the
walls. He slowly opened the cabinet door, hesitating to reach in as if fearing
that there was some unknown being lurking behind the books that would suddenly
lash out at him. But instead of finding some hideous creature, He pulled out a
simple small silver key.
The key was nothing special, just an ordinary one found in any store. It
looked so insignificant in Sakuragi's large palm, yet from the look in his
eyes one would have thought this key opened the very gates of hell. Walking
slowly toward his desk, Sakuragi sat down on the chair with a weary sign. His
hand shook slightly as he slowly entered the key into the lock of his bottom
left drawer. How long has it been since I've opened it? thought
Sakuragi with a sad expression on his face.
The drawer creaked and slowly opened due to it being unused for more than a
year. Inside the drawer lay a single mangled envelope, with the word 'Kaede'
in faded black ink written in front. The edges were a yellowish hue and tape
was used several times to bind the rips in the envelope. Sakuragi thought of
the time when Kaede first learned of this locked drawer.
"Hana, I thought we agreed that there were to be no
secrets between us, so why the locked drawer?"
Sakuragi hesitated before answering, "Please, Kaede, please let me keep
this one secret, it's something rather personal."
Kaede's brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed dangerously showing his
displeasure. Sakuragi, panicking, quickly replied, "I promise when the
time is right, I will show the last of my secrets to you". Kaede was
still upset, but seeing the pleading, if desperate look in his lover's eyes,
decided to let the matter drop, for now.
Sakuragi continuing to look at the mangled letter presently occupying the
drawer, hoping that the time would never come when he would have to show Kaede
this letter.
He had tried many times to destroy it. Crumpling it up, only to straighten it
again. Ripping it, only to tape it back. Throwing it away, only to immediately
reach back in the trashcan and retrieve it. How many times had he remembered
crying out in frustration for not being able to get rid of this damnable
burden?! Just looking at it caused a wave of misery, anxiety, and pain to wash
over him. Just looking at it made him feel like he's created a sin against his
love.
God! Please don't ever let the time come when this letter finds its way
into his hands! Sakuragi thought desperately. This is a secret and a
burden I would gladly keep hidden to myself.