HEALING OUR LIVES

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Hello. My name is Terrie, aka HealingWymn. I am a survivor of sexual abuse.

In the past few years I have found much peace and healing in my life. I was even recently able to confront one of my abusers, who is now in prison sentenced to death for murder. Although not all confrontations go well, I am pleased to be able to say that this confrontation brought me much peace and has enabled me to put much of the pain behind me. Much of this healing is due to my newfound faith in a higher power. I truly feel that God put me on this earth to help others to heal and find happiness. In addition to working at a not-for-profit mental health agency, I now spend a great deal of my spare time helping others in the healing community online. I used to send out daily meditations from the book Daybreak: Meditations for Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Maureen Brady, but I am currently taking a break from it. If you would like to receive these once I start sending them again, please e-mail me at healngwymn@aol.com. I also participate in an e-mail discussion/support group which I founded in Oct. 1997. This group currently supports approximately 12 women in all stages of recovery. Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate all the women who could benefit from this group, so I have founded a message board for Survivors to be able to connect with each other. Through all my endeavors, both personal and professional, I have come to know many many other survivors, quite a number of whom have been diagnosed with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), formerly known as MPD (Multiple Peronality Disorder). As I have gotten to know these wonderful people, I have chosen to dedicate a large portion of my personal time to being a friend and a supporter. I e-mail with a number of people, inside and outside, of all ages. I encourage and
welcome people with DID, as well as all other survivors, to post on the any of the message forums
listed here (see links below) or to join and participate in my yahoo group at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/healingourlives/join. Additonally, I have created another message board (called A Safe Place) just for young people who are living in adult bodies (with DID). The link to it can be found on my Littles and Middles resource page.

Please feel free to check the message boards I have founded for you. They are:
Healing Our Lives: a place to connect with other survivors
Angry Expressions: a place to express anger safely
Memory Lane: a place to talk about memories.

I encourage you to utilize all of these resources to connect with other survivors.

Or if I am online you may click here to chat with me:

I plan to dedicate this page to healing and recovery resources. I have researched many links to other pages, all of which have links to more pages. Please be aware that some of these sites may be triggering for some persons, so I ask that you take care of yourself. If you think a certain site may be triggering for you, please refrain from going there at least until you are feeling stronger to do so.If you know of a site that is worthy of being added to my resources, or if you find that one of my links is broken, please contact me at healngwymn@aol.com. I do not have the time nor the resources to keep everything up to date on my own, so I appreciate any and all help I can get.

Click here to visit the list of links.

I have found many writings that I find very healing. Feel free to go and read any or all of them.:

Click here to view the list of writings

One in particular I would like to share was written by a very dear friend of mine.
It's called Don't Touch the Child.

Additionally, here is a research paper that was done on trauma, which I find to be very educational.
Dissociation, A Normal Reaction to Trauma

Feel free to e-mail me with your
comments, questions, or suggestions

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I found one particular CD to be very comforting, peaceful, and affirming. I highly recommend it to anyone. It's called Songs for the Inner Child by Shaina Noll.

Some books that I recommend are categorized below:

Abuse and sexual abuse in general:

Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused, by Steven Farmer, is a book that focuses on abuse in general, recognizing it, and overcoming it.

Battered Woman's Survival Guide: Breaking the Cycle, by Jan Berliner Statman, is an excellent book that can help to recognize the patters of an abuser, and the ways they lure their partner into the relationship and keep them there. Also has information to help the battered woman to escape from this situation once in it.

Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, by Sue William Silverman, is one womans account of incest and recovery.

Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie, is a book that looks at the need many of us have to help others, to the point of neglecting ourselves. It is so important that we learn to draw a line of balance and to take care of ourselves first.

The Courage to Heal, by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis, is a wonderful and popluar book to help women overcome the effects of childhood sexual abuse.

The Courage to Heal Workbook, by Laura Davis, is a workbook based on the book The Courage to Heal.

Daybreak: Meditations For Women Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Maureen Brady is an excellent book of reflections to help the survivor focus on healing in every area of her life. I share these writings with other women daily.

Diary of Abuse, Diary of Healing, by Jennifer J. Richardson, is a personal account of one woman's childhood abuses and consequent healing.

Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life , by Dr. Patricia Love, et al, is an excellent book for anyone who feels that their life or their feelings are still controlled by their family of origin.

Reach for the Rainbow : Advanced Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Lynn D. Finney. The book review states: A question-and-answer format outlines self-healing techniques for survivors of sex abuse and addresses such sensitive issues as cult abuse, multiple personality disorder, flashbacks, suicidal thoughts, and legal repercussions.

Repressed Memories : A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse, by Renee Fredrickson, examines the importance of recovering buried memories and offers a guide on how do try to do so.

Secret Survivors : Uncovering Incest and Its Aftereffects in Women, by E. Sue Blume, is an excellent book that offers a list of numerous possible aftereffects of abuse, and then proceeds to discuss each one in detail. I highly recommend this book to all survivors!

Sexual Abuse/Sacred Wound : Transforming Deep Trauma, by Stephanie Mines. The book review states: Using the expressive arts as a ground for awakening to self, the author guides the reader step by step through the profound and exciting process of recovering self while recovering memory. Like a compassionate therapist, the author who is both mature and well trained in techniques for addressing trauma, opens the window on new options for discovering wholeness. Panic attacks, eating disorders, psychosomatic illness, chronic fatigue, structural obstacles, difficulties in intimacy and relationship -- all these components of post-traumatic stress disorder are considered. Joyous and uplifting possbilities are presented for all members of the recovery population, including single parents, gays and lesbians, survivors of cult abuse, men, women and families.

The Sexual Healing Journey : A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Wendy Maltz, is a book that focuses on healing damaged sexuality from childhood abuses.

Silently Seduced : When Parents Make Their Children Partners : Understanding Covert Incest, by Kenneth M. Adams, looks at when a parent's love for a child is more expecting than giving, more jealous than trusting (quoted from book review), thus covertly making that child their partner.

Survivor Prayers : Talking With God About Childhood Sexual Abuse, by Catherine J. Foote. The book review says: Both the reflections and the prayers validate the wound yet free the imagination to soar to the source of healing and wholeness. For an excerpt of this book you may go to Survivor's Prayer

Not all abuse is physical or sexual. In fact, oftentimes the most harmful abuse is emotional abuse. I highly recommend The Verbally Abusive Relationship:How to Recognize it and How to Respond, by Patricial Evans. It is an excellent book, to be read over and over.

Women who have been abused by females:

From Victim to Survivors : Reclaimed Voices of Women Sexually Abused in Childhood by Females , by Juliann Mitchell, PhD, and Jill Morse

When You're Ready : A Woman's Healing from Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse by Her Mother, by Kathy Evert and Inie Bijkerk

Males who have been sexually abused:

Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse, by Mic Hunter, includes numerous true stories of survival as well as an honest look at the abuse and recovery process. It examines how sexual abuse can physically and emotionally impact males, as well as factors that affect the recovery from such abuse.

Broken Boys/Mending Men: Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse, by Stephen D. Gruban-Black, looks at the after-effects of male childhood sexual abuse as well as how to begin healing.

Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse, by Mike Lew and Ellen Bass, validates the experiences of males who have been sexually abused, and deals with a variety of subsequent issues, including trust, intimacy, and sexuality.

For younger readers and those helping them:

Helping Your Child Recover From Sexual Abuse, by Caren Adams, et al

Laurie Tells, by Linda Lowery, is geared toward grades 4-6 and tells the story of a girl who is coping with incest.

My Mom is Different by Deborah Sessions is for children ages 4-8, whose moms have MPD/DID.

Something Happened and I'm Scared to Tell : A Book for Young Victims of Abuse, by Patricial Kehoe, is geared to ages 4-8, and discusses some common feelings that accompany sexual abuse, such as guilt, fear, and confusion.

Something Must Be Wrong With Me : A Boy's Book About Sexual Abuse, by Doris Sanford, is geared to ages 4-8.

Ritual Abuse:

Double Vision: A Travelogue of Recovery from Ritual Abuse, by Anna Richardson, is a true story of one women's recovery from from incest and ritual abuse, and includes some very vivid memories.

Reaching for the Light: A Guide for Ritual Abuse Survivors and Their Therapists, by Emile P. Rose, is a good book in helping understand ritual abuse without being overly graphic. This book gives many useful coping strategies for dealing with the aftereffects of ritual abuse.

Satan's Children: Case Studies in Multiple Personalities by Robert S. Mayer addresses the possibility of multiple personalities being created by satanic cults.

Satan's Underground : The Extraordinary Story of One Woman's Escape, by Lauren Stratford and Johanna Michaelson, is a much disputed book about one woman's experiences with a satanic cult.

Suffer the Child, by Judith Spencer, is the story of a young girl who was initiated into a cult by her mother, and subsequently developed MPD/DID to deal with the atrocities she suffered.

Where the Rivers Join: A Personal Account of Healing from Ritual Abuse, by Beckylane, is book about the experiences of a survivor of ritual abuse, and her subsequent recovery.

MPD/DID:

Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living With Dissociative Identity Disorder , by Tracy Alderman, PhD, et al, is a self-help guide which discusses various skills and strategies for living with MPD/DID, or living with someone who has MPD/DID

Becoming One: A Story of Triumph over Multiple Personality Disorder, by Sarah E. Olson, tells of the author's account of her past and of her healing.

The Diagnosis and Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder, by Frank W. Putnum, is a book for professionals and those in training. It addresses numerous therapeutic issues and discusses specific therapeutic techniques, complete with examples.

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook, by Deborah Bray Haddock, is a user-friendly book that addresses practical information about dissociation and can facilitate the opening of communication about it.

The Family Inside: Working With the Multiple, by Doris Bryant, et al, is full of various healing techniques for MPD/DID and focuses on developmental milestones which generally need to be met in healing.

First Person Plural: My Life as a Multiple, by Cameron West, PhD, is a first-hand account of one man's experience with MPD/DID.

Getting Through the Day: Stratagies for Adults Hurt As Children, by Nancy J. Napier, is a good followup and is helpful in understanding what DIDers go through on a daily basis.

Multiple Personality Disorder from the Inside Out, edited by Barry M. Cohen, et al, is a collection of writings about people's expeirences with MPD/DID.

Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder: The Power of the Collective Heart, by Sarah Y. krakauer, discusses a three-phase treatment model for MPD/DID.

Treating Dissociative Identity Disorder (Jossey-Bass Social and Behavioral Science Series), edited by James L. Spira and Irvin D. Yalom, offers a variety of techniques for assessing and treating MPD/DID.

United We Stand: A Book for People With Multiple Personalities, Eliana Gil, is a very short book and will be easily understood. It is a great first book.

When Rabbit Howls, by Truddy Chase, is the author's true story of childhood abuse and how she developed MPD/DID in order to survive.

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook.

Self-Injury:

A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain, by Marilee Strong, is the result of interviews with over 50 self-mutilators.

Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation, by Steven Levenkron, offers basic information on self-injury as well as strategies for treatment.

The Scarred Soul: Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence, by Tracy Aldarman, explores reasons why people self-harm and techniques for overcoming it.

Shadow on My Soul: Overcoming Addiction to Suicide, by Paula M. Quinn, is an autobiographical account of what it feels like to be suicidal, and gives an understanding of that mindset.

Grief:

Time Remembered: A Journal For Survivors is a wonderful book that allows you to write as you read.

When someone you love is a survivor:

Allies in Healing is a wonderful book for those who support a survivor in the healing journy. It helps the supporter to understand and to deal with their own feelings and issues around this.

Ghosts in the Bedroom : A Guide for Partners of Incest Survivors

Haunted Marriage : Overcoming the Ghosts of Your Spouse's Childhood Abuse

When You Are the Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor : A Workbook for You

Lovers and Survivors; A Partner's Guide to Living with and Loving a Sexual Abuse Survivor

Outgrowing the Pain Together : A Book for Spouses and Partners of Adults Abuse As Children

Someone I Know Has Multiple Personalities: A Book for Significant Others -- Friends, Family, and Caring Professionals by Sandra J. Hocking

Partners in Recovery : How Mates, Lovers & Other Prosurvivors Can Learn to Support & Cope With Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Childrens Books that many survivors like:

Love You Forever is a great book for children of all ages

If I Found a Wistful Unicorn

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If you are interested in helping me earn more commission on the books you want to order, and you are willing to wait up to one week to place your order, please e-mail me with the name and author of the book you would like to order and I will be happy to place a direct link to that book here.

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