| The last time I updated this page was 8 months ago. A lot of things change, and I know the first time I wrote this page it was two years ago. About the same time I muttered those immortal words to my parents, "I am gay." I'm not saying they were ecstatic to hear them, but they are coping. It hasn't been easy, and two years is a long time. I thought the time would make a difference. It has. But not really the way I thought it would. I am not taking back what I have written, only adding a disclaimer, that my family is dealing with the news and being very supportive... the best way they know how to. It can't be easy, their dreams were shattered with those few words...dreams of weddings, and a son-in-law but as time has passed and I now have a girlfriend but it's like I'm invisible. My lovelife and life in general aren't discussed for fear they might hear something that offends them. I am seeing one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life, I'm madly in love and we are very happy. So happy we're thinking of moving in together but my parents won't even mention her name, despite having met her. I don't know what to do any longer. I have to compromise myself at family functions and deny her existence just to satisfy my parents. I love them with all my heart but I am sick of playing it 'straight'. X-mas drinks or barbecues I find myself pretending to be someone I'm not, because my parents aren't ready to cross that line, to come out too. I am tired and upset. I have done the hardest thing in my life and come out. But this has not been respected or reciprocated. I am have respected my parents and not rushed them or been 'overt' as they termed it but when is it my time? So read the following taking that into consideration that my family's reaction has been very different from friends, who have been absolutely, amazingly fantastic. There's a saying 'love makes the world go round'. I am certainly aware of the impact it has had on my life. So, this page is a tribute to those people in my life I really couldn't live without. I hope they know who they are, otherwise I have failed to let them know how special they are. I'll have to remedy that. |
| Seriously, I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for the love and support I have been shown from both friends and my immediate family. You can't choose your family but I couldn't have chosen better had I been a part of the decision-making process. And on top of that, the people I have chosen to be a part of my life, or not as the case may be; |
| you know the ones who just sneak into your life and you come to rely on them so much you can't remember not having them there? Anyway, the people I call friends are just as special as my family. |
| I have put myself through some tough times emotionally and it wasn't until I realised I had the support of my friends I felt I could come out and live and enjoy life as I wanted to. I love life, there is no fear there but I felt like I was playing a role in a play, not being able to talk about some things I was thinking or act in a manner that felt comfortable and totally natural for me. That was until I looked around me and for the first time I knew I wasn't alone and wouldn't be judged, or ignored or alienated for expressing another side of myself. |
| I hate to define myself solely with a label such as lesbian, as I fill other roles. I hate labels generally but feel there are a few I can wear comfortably. I am a daughter, a sister, a granddaughter, a cousin, a niece, a friend, a student, a work colleague and of course; gay, a lesbian or dyke - pick your word because really that's all it is. |
| The point of this page is....to my friends and family, I love you all and thank you for your love and support. I couldn't ask for anything more. |
