 "Closets are for hats and clothes, not for people."I don't know where I heard and read that quote but I think it is a particularly good one. However I do hate the fact that sexuality has to be an issue, that it is necessary 'to come out'. It is not necessary for heterosexuals to disclose their 'straightness' so why is it for me? For whatever reason, society feels a need to classify and to know who does what between the sheets, especially when it is different to what they do. Luckily, I am surrounded with people who don't deem my sexual revelation as anything to talk about or judge me with. My friends are totally relaxed, and don't see what the big deal is but understand when I feel like making a big deal of something. My brothers took my news in different ways, but both are supportive and a major part of my life. My parents, two years on are coping, and dealing with it slowly.... |
| Telling people you're gay doesn't just happen in one go. It could, I guess, but the way I experienced it, and still experience it to this day, is that I bring it up as a situation arises. |
| I first mentioned my thoughts to someone and then gauged their reaction. I was 18, and in Stockholm when I first broached the subject with a friend, a fellow exchange student. He was pretty cool, and then we left it at that. Two years later, I find myself telling another person that I think I may be bi (I wasn't quite ready to rule everything out) and again, this guy was very cool about it. It wasn't until I went over to visit this person, another Swede [Sweden, Swedish...there seems to be a reoccurring pattern here] that I confronted it again almost a year later. But I still wasn't ready to say the word 'gay'. I was still 'bi', but actually playing straight. |
| Finally, fours year after leaving school, in March '99 I was confronted by a friend. I told him and so the dominoes began to fall. I found that every time I saw someone I wanted to tell them and then the next person and so forth. But I am confused as to when I can claim an anniversary lies with the fact I didn't tell my parents until September of '99 but my friends had already known for 5 months by this time. Telling my parents was not the easiest of things to do, but it's done and as I said, they are slowly coming to terms with it. I also feel better for being honest, and am free to develop into the person I want to. |
| That is a fairly sanitised version of the angst, hurt and confusion I went through to get to the person I am now. There was also the joy of falling in love for the first time, not to mention the fun times and acceptance I was shown by the people around me, and also accepting myself. I'm still Steff and that's what counts. |
