Living room

Jamaica is known for many things, not least of all its homophobia. My theory is that this stems from a national insecurity, a legacy of slavery. Homophobia is now being touted as a part of our culture, as if the incidence of homosexuality were any less in Jamaica than anywhere else. It is seen as "imported" behaviour which corrupts the pristine masculinity of our "cocksmen" (as opposed to battymen, the word used to describe those of our orientation), and not native or natural to African-Jamaicans. We've heard it all before. Forget that there has been a long unspoken tradition of homosexuality among the functionaries of our native religions in true shamanistic fashion.

For an interesting look at homophobia, read The Hate that Makes Men Straight

Jamaica is racially predominantly black with a smattering of other races who live in relative harmony. Our national motto recognises this: Out of many, one people.

Into this curious situation, I chose to be incarnated of Cantonese parents 52 years ago, growing up in a small rural town, part of an ethnic as well as a sexual minority. Culturally integrated as black, I acknowledge my Chinese heritage. I have always been an anomaly, never quite fitting in. Now I have created my own space, living room indeed, dancing to the beat of a different drummer.

At my niece Gillian's wedding in Miami 1/96 with, from left, my sister Gwen, my mom (now deceased), and Gillian's sister Carolyn who's also gay.

Being gay in this society has taught me to be strong where I would be complacent, assertive where I would be passive, resourceful where I would be helpless. Yes, one of those "creative" gay people with talent dripping from every pore. I have lived up to and epitomise that stereotype very well. I turned my back on a career in the family business and instead pursued a nebulous path in the arts. I made a comfortable life for myself working as a designer, then shifted to marketing Jamaican handicraft , and then to rural community development. In the process of leaving that too behind, I seek new horizons, living in the moment and being open to the opportunities that arise.

The role that suggests itself is somewhat that of helping people find out who they are, facilitating their self-empowerment. To this end, I have been active in metaphysical pursuits, gay activism, wellness initiatives and Gaian issues. I do this by networking, writing, speaking to groups, and organising events. Of course, most of this is not income-generating in an already depressed Third World economy. So I keep my needs simple. One thing I have been doing is marketing books which would otherwise be hard to come by on these subjects.

Making the connection between inkling and lucid concept, transforming vague impulse into manifestation, putting patient in touch with healer, seeker with guru, is reward enough.