The Producer's Song (by the Infidel In The Temple)
THE PRODUCER'S SONG

(This is to the tune of King Gama's song in the Gilbert & Sullivan opera
Princess Ida, the one where every verse ends with "Yet everybody says
I'm such a disagreeable man, and I can't think why! To see the lyrics of the
original, click www.cba.neu.edu/~vgodin/kinggama.htm.)



If you'll give me your attention, straight and honest I will be, 
I'm a dignified producer of reality TV. 
I get a group of people in a house on public view, 
And I ask no inhibitions in the things they say and do. 
They'll be just fine, as long as they have skins all made of leather, 
For after all, we can't just have them talk about the weather. 
And through it all, I try to be congenial as I can. 
Yet everybody says that I am such a sleazy man, 
And I can't think why! 
 
 
I pick twelve men and women who are not too meek or shy 
When it comes to having intercourse beneath the camera eye. 
The folks who like some tension in their lives will satisfy me; 
A narcissist, a psychopath or two, just might slip by me. 
Regretably, a fellow did get frisky with a knife, 
And we had to send him packing since we value every life. 
Now, rest assured that moment wasn't in my master plan, 
Yet everybody says that I am such a sleazy man, 
And I can't think why! 
 
 
There has to be a houseguest who is frail and insecure, 
Along with several other folks whose viciousness is pure. 
I love to have my audience get worried for the girl, 
That a total nervous breakdown is just waiting to unfurl. 
But we have a staff psychologist to see that she's okay, 
And if she should cut her wrists, well, is it our fault? Who's to say! 
And in case of death, we promise to provide the funeral van. 
Yet everybody says that I am such a sleazy man, 
And I can't think why!


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