- Get Your Own An agent needed, please:
Got the key to appease?
Enrolled on sub-missions
Naturally, I am ambitious!
That's right, tease, but don't squeeze!
Needed of someone to help me through.
Escaping from this, I got no clue!
Editing to publish, that's what I need.
Don't blame me if I got so much greed!!
I always loved the night's sound, especially during the summertimes, when the insects decide to join together and create quite an exquisite and exotic symphony. I also always enjoyed the sound of a piano playing. But when I was six years old, my parents put me in a violin
class instead. I didn't attune with the whole class, otherwise I would have followed a promising career as a concertist! Nevertheless, when I was at the Music School I couldn't keep still, as I turned my head
from that uncomfortable position, for I was also completely in love with the piano's
teacher. Later on, I became a ballerina, and although my mother still tried
to put me into a piano class, it was already too late. "I would rather be
dancing", I would say to myself every time I had to be seated there for hours
rehearsing some notes.
Today, when people watch me dancing, they frequently ask me to teach them
how to dance in five minutes, as if it was possible to become a ballet master
in one day. They cannot see that it took me more than ten years dancing,
four hours per day practicing it, to be able to dance smoothly, for Ballet
to become a second nature and be as natural as talking to a friend.
When I first learned how to dance? Or rather, when I first learned how
to get rejected, laughed about it and moved on? Well, that is a good question.
But first shouldn’t you rather ask me when I first learned how to draw, and
then write? Because those two aptitudes came much earlier when I was only
two or three years old, and they were already being part of my essence since
I raised my consciousness. Just then I was able to start to walk well and
dance. My father taught me the first steps.
“Put your right foot over my left foot, and your left on my right foot,
and hold my hands." He said.
It was so hard to balance this way. But then when he started to bounce
from one side to another, stepping around the floor with one foot at the
ground and then the other, it was so much easier to get the balance, to get
the feeling of the flowing notes by the waltz of Strauss that we so much adored
and I felt so naturally inclined to dance. Then, my mother took me to the
Ballet School when I was seven. They had auditions for beginners every year.
The first attempt to enter that major Ballet Institute was vain…and in vain.
I looked at everything there and it all looked so sumptuous, so big, so
formal, and so adult…and the girls there had a very snobbish flair... I was
so scared of the whole atmosphere that I didn’t take my hands off my mother’s
skirt. I didn't enter there.
The second attempt and my eyes were so full of tears that I couldn't see
a palm in front of my face, and I should mention that I didn’t even take the test.
Two girls were especially nice to me there. They took me inside the dressing
room, they washed my face and they returned me to my mother’s arms. The
third attempt, I was so scared of people in there, all girls running on
the hall, that I was about to finish the test when I decided to go back
to my mother.
I was nine years old then, and I was still fascinated and yet scared in
the middle of those angels there, who seemed to float by the impulse of
their long necks, running gracefully towards the “novices” as they called
us. One of them, passing through us, in the middle of the huge line we made
on the hall (that I still remember my number: 1447, meaning there were just
some more 1446 girls on the way), pointed some saying:
“Good Luck, good luck, good luck!”
I observed her as if she was not made of flesh and blood, as she stretched
her neck more and more to reach out to each one of us like a swan. She looked
towards my direction and said "Good Luck". Instead of saying, “Thank you!”
I just thought to myself, “Amem!”
I started to appreciate and understand more about the métier and
then I even got some ideas to do in my audition. I observed how they dressed,
how they talked, how they walked and ran. I was definitely ready. I was doing
so well, that I could see the faces of the examiners in their old fashioned
wooden table, looking at me and smiling, while stretching their necks to
observe my dancing, tiptoeing in a flat shoe, as soon as they allowed the
competitors to create. They asked me, "You really want to be a ballerina, don't you??" And after promising them that if I enrolled the Ballet classes I would finish the eight years of studying. For they were also complainning that many girls who passed the exam would give up after their first or second year in that school. Just then, after saying "Yes, yes, yes, I will sacrifice all those years" they allowed my flat feet to leave the audition. I was irradiant, so thrilled and fulfilled! Came to
my mother with a smile:
“I am sure this time I made it, mom! I am going to become a ballerina.”
I yet had to overcome many phases, many tests, much of my crying
over rejections and fearfulness, to really be able to discern that I was
on my right track, I mean, on my writing task.
As a performer and Ballet Master, I recently had the opportunity to teach a ten-session Ballet class and I discovered that adult beginners find that my method really makes people of any age or background (even those who never saw a Ballet class in their entire lives)come alive, and dance with enthusiasm.
I started choreographing and teaching for women over fifty. Four of the middle-aged women who took a once-a-week session during the two months contract with the art center which hired me performed the famous “Pas-de-Quatre” also called "The Little Swans" from the Ballet Swan Lake. And I recently choreographed an entire piece of a Ballet to be presented by them at the theatre. With my technique they could continue to dance for ten, twenty or more years if they wish. I also realized that Ballet improves both health and vitality and gives one a sense of worth. I will keep teaching, healing and dancing until I reach my nineties!
I studied in the official school of Ballet in Sao Paulo, Brazil, where thousands of children apply every year for a chance to enter to its major company. Only ten or less are accepted per year, at the discretion of the judges . I had flat feet, and they noticed it. My great-grandmother then bought to me a special type of shoes to correct this deficiency, against my mother whose eyes saw only perfection with all her devotional love for her little daughter. For three anxious years I continually applied, and I was finally accepted. My success was probably because of my newly-adopted orthotics. They became my favorite shoes. I continued to use them until my feet grew so large that I tore them apart (the Orthopedics, not my feet. My feet would be torn later on, anyway, by my point shoes...) But against all the odds I made it. I became a ballerina. And I can still perform. Ballet with "T": A Chi-light!
After eight months of having an appendicitis operation and after five months after another abdominal surgery I was back on my point shoes, taking and giving lessons, rehearsing and performing. And less than a year after that serious operation I was already on stage, feeling the unique atmosphere upon which all theatres are impregnated. Currently at “The Nutcracker” to cheer up children’s faces. It was a complete delight! Ballet seems to miraculously save my body from the physical pain and my soul from strenuous grieving more than once in my life.
But the most amazing thing about being a teacher is to acknowledge the fact that teaching and learning come together hand in hand. For as much as I give to all of my students, and I see their difficulties, I always learn a new way to correct my own method and discipline and make them break through their deficiencies as well. For I know that anyone can learn if they are taught in the right way.
The love that I feel for the Art, I see that same love reflected in their faces, in class or when they are also performing. It is a matter of giving and taking. But in the end you realize that you received so much more than you could possibly give or ever dreamed of gathering.
Now I see myself trying to charm them once again, but this time they are not the tap dancers but the typing dancing people. It is as if I were in just another
of thousands of auditions that I already had to face. It just changed the
address. In the beginning I would just cry after another rejecting letter
from a publisher. But now I just smile and move on. I see the light out there
and it's so bright it is worth the long and "windy" journey.
I realized that it is when you think that everything is lost, after so
many rejections, you should not give up...because it is then that the light
will come to you, for the end of the tunnel is the darkest, it is narrow
and funnelling, but the closest this gets you to the ultimate goal. Otherwise there would be no light if it was not for the darkness of our lives; meaning that if we don't pass through difficult moments, how could we ever possibly contemplate the beauty of the dawn?
(Ballet with "T"-Light and a Po(^l^)etically "Ballethic" Exposition:
Chi Kung, a Millenary Art, is an Ancient Chinese form of gathering energy.
I believe that Ballet, a recent Art in comparison with the Martial Arts,
for it was created in the middle of the seventeenth century, was invented
somehow based upon the Chinese principles.
If you compare the first position of the arms in Ballet with the position
to concentrate energy in the Dan Tian (one of the major centers of energy
in the subtle body) you see that they are quite the same. Some similarities
are also found in the second position of legs, and even more amazing are the
Mudras (position of hands) as much as Ballet has the same hand stand position,
as the index finger points out and the thumb concentrates into the pad created
between the ring and the middle finger. Chi Kung Masters consider that this
way they can establish a connection with the heart's meridian (a point of
energy in the body) and also avoid wasting out the energy from the fingers.
The fifth position in Ballet, when the arms reach up to the sky above the
head, forming a crown, it serves in Chi Kung Meditation as to redirect the
cosmic energy to the crown of the head, and I wonder if King Louis XIV didn’t
take any class or watch some Chinese practitioner before he decided to concentrate
his energy on establishing this noble Art.
Ballet like many Arts increases your energy and motivates your vitality
improving your health. I wonder if that is not so much so for the physical
exercises that it demands (although sometimes Ballet can be quite static and
not so electrifying) but rather for it leaves such a delicate and gentle breeze
in each dancing soul, and it creates such a peaceful aura and concentrates
energy instead of the “no pain, no gain” dilemma from some other ways of physical
Henceforth, my method is directed to gather energy and avoid stress, it
revitalises one's body with breathing exercises while improving the overall
health. The flowing movements and relaxing music soothes the soul.
This way my students not only enjoy moving their bodies with ease, but they
also have the satisfaction of knowing that they can benefit from this Art
for as long as they shall live (that I presume will be much longer than the
expected if they continue on their routine of practising my Ballet with “QI”) (Excerpts from "The Tao of Physical and Spiritual" available on my Virtual Bookstore)
Article: An Accidental Immigrant
I came to the United States in the end of the year 2000 with roughly my Basic English and a couple of dollars on my pocket, and no idea of what to expect or what I was going to do. My husband’s company transferred him to work for at least three years in Washington, D.C. Nevertheless, my Visa Status didn’t allow me to work.
As soon as I put my two feet on the ground I started to work hard, as it seemed that everyone around there was basically doing that. I wrote and illustrated more than fifteen picture books and my staying home had me inspired for more three novels. I also got that opportunity of "doing nothin'" to write my memoirs and a book about Out-of-Body Experiences encouraged by my active participation in an amazing forum in the net as I surprised myself by writing a whole lot about one sole subject. Time seemed to run, or rather, fly, while I kept myself pretty busy. In the meantime, I also experienced some overwhelming events, not only with personal and deep emotional stressfull proofs and pains, but mostly situations from the outside as "The September Eleven tragedy", when I had just crossed New York City, a stalker menace at home, and (who can forget it? Only those who didn't have to pass through it) the Sniper Case, which took place right at the corner from where I lived.
Anyway, life continued. And although it seemed pretty dangerous to be just walking around my neighborhood, nevertheless, I decided to give classes for free in an Academy some three blocks away, which also gave me the opportunity to practice the so-obviously-necessary art of self-defense, of course.
A law finally arrived that spouses of workers would be allowed to work to help increase the ecomony for the crisis seemed to be there to stay after one year and a half (and what a heck of a year!) I was thrilled that I could finally apply for a work permit. The INS issued my Employment Authorization on July on the day of my birthday (And I wonder if they did it on my behalf…yes, I have a dream!)
I was so thrilled that I could finally work where I really enjoyed the atmosphere and doing what I loved since I was a little girl (and earn money for that!) So I started to give Ballet classes the same day I got my card. Three months later I was invited to perform and choreograph. I started to realize that my English was actually improving, as well as my brave new life there. I had the pleasure to see the incredibly rapid development of the number and work of my own students, and of all the home improvement we did, my husband and I, with our own hands, in our apartment. My books were miraculously getting in shape as well. And I could finally call America home.
It was a splendour, a memorable moment! Everything sounded to be going perfectly well for me in my newly-adopted home when, without any notice, they kicked me out of the country, for my Visa depended on my husband's and he got laid off. I had to leave before he did. We stayed more than five months without seeing each other, just trying to get our basis settled somewhere else, as we had to start from scratch (and when you start to scratch you cannot stop it!) We had to restart our lives from ground zero, the right beginning from where we left it, just once again... Now he wants me to write a book he insists me that I should promote with already a title:
But I told him instead, with a peculiar good mood, in spite of all the changes we quickly had to go through:
“I just wrote a book about taking off...You should be the one to write a book about being laid off, for I was a mere collateral damage. I felt this as a third person not as my own. So the impact of my writings wouldn't be as strong as your talking about what happened to you. Besides writing about that will make you feel better.” As well as writing about my personal experiences make me feel so great that I decided to devote a lifetime on being a writer since I was a little girl.
So now I am ready to write a new book entitled:
"Live&Work in the US
without kicking your ass"
I know that it won't be a best seller. I do not intend to earn an award for that. But at least I hope my experiences will serve as a warning to all those who come to live in another country.
So, if you hear about a bunch of American girls dancing in the US a Ballet choreographed with Brazilian Music, remember me, for this might have a touch of my magical wand. I tried to give the best from what had been given to me. There you could also have felt a beat of my heart, dancing as a snowflake at "The Nutcracker" with the Metropolitan Ballet Theatre. They decided that there was another Snow queen, so I just had a demi role. As it seems that this is what God gave to us, anyway: this role as demigods that sometimes turns some others into demagogues... What a gag! Not for me, though; I already have a tough time trying to find another gig...
So here below
how much I created
from those two years
that on this chair I seated.
I can find poetry in anything that moves
even when I am the one who'd been removed.
"A Chorus of Angels on Earth"
Like angels appearing from the sky,
leaving a fragrance of gardenias in the air
They pass by...
So are the ballerinas, so full of flair,
who in their tiptoes seem to fly.
And who could even try
to imagine the weight they have to bear!
Here I leave a little message to you
saying that life is like a Ballet's role
Making all the dreams eventually come true
As long as they are in harmony with the whole.
As I danced “The Nutcracker” almost in tears
After the heartbreak I had from last year
I kept my heart up high, and I shall ever,
For dancing surely makes me feel better!
What a beautiful dance a ballerina makes
Who enchantes the world with every step she takes.
Books and Articles based upon play-on-words, image-in-action, article-^l^-action and "divin-actions" exercises for your mind, body and soul!