I have two websites which I made when I was younger and no longer update, but one of them used to be fairly popular, and the other one is fairly popular. Guess which is which. Anyway, the Tobey Maguire site is a riot. Read the guestbook. Who knew a site I made could attract so many airheaded teenyboppers? (I should talk!)
Links with asterisks are the ones which MUST be visited. They should be visited because their value in modern society is excruciatingly high; they should be seen by as many people as possible. Even if you choose to ignore the joke and graphic and other sorts of sites below, VISIT THE ONES WITH THE ASTERISKS!
The Spirit of Sinatra Frank Sinatra rules.
Blue-Eyes.com (also Sinatra)See above.
This site has contact information for pretty much any celebrity you want, from Anne Rice to Cameron Diaz, Moby to lord knows whom else. Not only are addresses found here, but also information as to their accuracy, and how long you can expect to get a reply - if at all.
SUPPORT GOOD CAUSES
*STOP the HATE Racist pigs need not apply.
*We Are With You Israel Give some love to a country that sorely needs it.
*MidEast Truth - Middle East Truth The truth needs to be heard about the so-called "occupation" and other Middle Eastern affairs. Stop listening to the BBC and CNN - get the real facts here.
*Juntos x Israel This site can be viewed in Spanish, English, or Hebrew, and exposes a coalition between Israel, Peru, and other countries for peace in the Middle East. South America, FYI, has more Jews than you think, especially in Argentina.
*Honestreporting.com - Fighting Media Bias Through weekly e-mail newsletters, this brilliant site delivers news about how goings-on in Israel are reported in various newspapers and news shows worldwide. Canada, England, and Arab countries are most frequently targeted, as are many American news sources, such as The Washington Post. Unfortunately, most newsletters tell nothing more of the constant anti-Semitism that never seems to go away, but there is always contact information so you can let the editor of the newspaper that pissed you off know how much they suck. Also, you are given the full story behind the headlines and picture captions - the things the media doesn't want you to see. And once in a while, you read of apologies from news sources about their errors. Even rarer is really good news - like when the state of Israel gave the BBC a big FUCK YOU!!! Well, basically.
*People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals I've grown to hate the PETA actually, because they're a bunch of sick bastards who compare animals being rasied for food with concentration camp victims, and they put dead dogs on the pavement to advocate for keeping pets cool in the summer. They also say that whale meat is OK to eat because whales aren't raised in harsh animal farms (they ignored the e-mail I sent them about how Kosher meat is raised; Kosher chickens, turkeys, fish, and cows are raised like pets). However, they raise one good point - animals need to be treated better. Unless you're a fucking hippie, this site is for you. Otherwise, get away from the computer and take a fucking shower. And then go to McDonald's. Please.
*Please Puff Daddy Ruin This Song, Too P. Diddy may dress well, but I can't think of a single other good thing to say about him. Among many of his idiosyncracies is that he can't write any of his own songs; it's too easy to ruin someone else's.
Whitwell Middle School The Whitwell Middle School in Marion County, Tennessee, is doing a project to collect six million paper clips for Holocaust rememberance. They've collected 29,472,132 paper clips as of 1/02. Excellent, no? This is especially nice because small-town America isn't renowned for its knowledge of cultures that differ from their own. Read the uplifting story of how the project began, and make sure to send some paper clips, too.
Not clicking here will result in venereal diseases, run-ins with timid skunks, and love letters from ugly people you knew in high school. These unfortunate events have already happened to millions of people, so make sure you don't become a statistic and click the banner!
Coop's Jokes Not bad as a joke site goes, but a must-see is the 800+ listing of humor lists. These will keep you busy for hours. If you're not feeling gung-ho about Mom's green bean salad or doing your English homework, this is the place to be. Oh yeah, and it's updated a lot, too.
The Christian Porno Parody Site! This site is not for the faint of heart. It is undoubtedly one of the most (if not the most) offensive site on this page, and should be viewed at your own discretion. If your cheeks hurt from laughing too hard, I'd better not get blamed. You may never be able to show your face in church again after this, and hell and damnation will definately be waiting for you when you're done - but who cares?
Who knew that fantastic lies, combined with appropriate matching pictures, could make for such entertainment? Be sure to read the webmaster's stories, and don't leave without distorting Pamela Anderson's face or seeing the Loch Ness Monster.
The Brunching Shuttlecocks As sites go, this is pretty good, but what makes it great is the Ratings section. Everything from jelly bean flavors to dollar store items is rated, from A+ to D-, and makes for another enjoyable evening of avoiding family dinners and homework. I give it a B+.
Lots of Jokes - Humor and Jokes Network If what you want is a good, basic joke database, look no further.
Everyone's seen porn, sure. But why does it always have to feature people? You'll probably want to sit on the floor for the rest of your life after this, and you may want to invest in a good clipboard to replace your desk.
Thespark.com Everyone's been here. Find out if you're pregnant or not with a very accurate test, and don't leave without seeing the Stinkymeat Diaries.
Tired of calling people generic, schoolyard insults? Come here to learn the most eloquent ways to tell people off. For the less daring, choose from one of 109 languages in which to say some truly blush-enducing things - things you'd never be able to get away with saying in English! (Of course, use common sense, and refrain from being a fitta: don't walk up to your French teacher and say "Vous sentez comme la merde" or anything like that.
Go here to see hundreds of hilarious anime-style cartoon strips featuring such burning topics as religion, cat-dog rivalry, and sex. Lots of sex.
This is the news you wish you saw on MSNBC.
Funny Pictures, Jokes - Dribbleglass.com - Trivia, Billboards, Cards, Fallacies Come here for jokes, but also some odd trivia.
This site is pure genius. A couple of brothers from Idaho have concocted a website of incredible humor that is also incredibly clean (yet still of an immature nature). Send Strong Bad an e-mail, audition for Marzipan's band, and really get ruthless with the treat-giving when the gang comes to your house for Trick o'Treat. Fall in love with the adolescent hijinks of the Teen Girl Squad, and get a hankering for Fluffy Puff Marshamallows. The genius of this site isn't just in its content, but it's layout as well. Turn on them speakers and turn them on LOUD. And buy a T-shirt, too. My friend Joe has several.
Bunny Survival Tests This site contains the humor that Man shouldn't be idle enough to enjoy. The purpose of the site is to demonstrate the various ways of killing those marshamallow bunnies you buy at Easter time. Clicking the "Bunnies Strike Back" link takes you to an identical site, only about marshamallow chicks. Photos included for your entertainment and disgust.
Come here for some supreme brain candy, just like the link suggests. Find tons of quotes, quips, famous firsts and lasts, and witty epitaphs. This site hasn't been updated in a while, but it will take so long to explore it all that you may not even notice.
Creative Wit: Quips and Quotations More great quips, quotes, and words to live by. There are literally thousands here.
Famous Quotes I know, I know, more quotes, but this site has so many - so many - get ready to immerse yourself in wit. This is probably my current favorite of the aforementioned quote sites.
Folklore and Mythology Electronic Texts, Page 1 Fairy tales have been a part of the upbringing of millions of children worldwide for centuries, but only in the past few generations has everybody associated fairy tales with Disney movies. Maybe those animated classics of Aladdin and Snow White made for great impromptu babysitters, but visit this site for the actual history of these classic stories. There are versions from various points in history, as well as various ethnic backgrounds, but be forewarned: a great deal of these versions are not rated G.
Cinderella Essay Again, forget everything that the 1950 Disney movie taught you about glass slippers and mice, and get a little insight on the story's origins.
McTeague Site The 1899 novel McTeague inspired the 1924 film classic Greed. It's a film worth seeing, and a book worth reading...if you're like me and are too lazy to get up and go to the library, go to this site and read the whole novel in between IMs.
Welcome to Discovery.com The Discovery Network includes many great TV stations, but the ones we all know and love the best are TLC, Animal Planet, The Discovery Channel, and (my favorite) The Travel Channel. Be sure to visit their site to find out when your favorite programs will air.
Duran Duran on Pop Topix
Duran Duran are Go!
Tarnished Halo - An Anything-Goes Duran Duran Slash List
Tigerbeat - Index
Badass Buddy This is God's gift to those desiring a superior buddy icon. There are other buddy icon sites out there (I no longer link to Ballericons because of all the racist cunts who use it), but this one is the original and the best. There's a great selection without being a bitch to navigate AND THEY HAVE ICONS FROM HOMESTAR!!!! YAY!!!
Free Translation from English to Spanish, French, German, Portuguese, Italian, and Norweigian I'm a loser and have actually used this site before. Hey, if I'm IMing one of my friends from Strasbourg and I don't know what they're saying...
Hello Kitty buddy icon I think this still works: click the link for a buddy icon of a skipping Hello Kitty. =)
God bless Bravenet. They offer so many great web services, all for free, and all pretty reliable and easy to use and install.
Nextel.com - Send a Message I don't have a cell phone, but many of my friends do. Send your friends (leave mine alone lol) a text message from this site if they are Nextel suscribers.
NocturnalChild's Ascension Great graphic selection from an interesting person.
I got a few nice Judaic graphics here.
These adorable cat graphics have a vintage look and theme to them, and are a must for the website of any cat lover. Even if you don't have a website, come just to feast your eyes on these precious kitties.
For a wide array of backgrounds (borders and regular) of every texture and color imaginable, come here and leave finding something similar to (or, frequently, exactly) what you wanted.
Bathroom Graphics Page 1
This is a great source for children, parents, and teachers; find graphics, games, and more.
This site, by an fellow resident of Massachusetts, has a great array of graphics for holidays and occasions.
CAT GRAPHICS/Bordered Backgrounds Kitty backgrounds! They're so cute! =) Oh, and there's other graphic/cat related stuff, too.
If you have a site to decorate, pay Windy Web a visit. The backgrounds, all I have ever used from here, are incredible.
Lots of adorable teddy bear Valentine's Day graphics can be found here.
Boston Online - Your Guide to Boston Boston is the city in which I live, and I love it here. I want to live in Boston for the rest of my natural (and less-than-natural) life, but for the love of God, NOT IN WEST ROXBURY! Go to the Bathrooms section and read my write-up of the potty at one of my favorite bookstores.
Boston: Bus-Town Project Some fun-loving individual named Tim Devin went and rode every bus line in the MBTA system. God help someone with that kind of time and perseverance. There are a crapload of bus lines, and they run all around Boston and Greater Boston. Not only has he been on all these buses, but he's written a report on his ride on each one. Mercy me.
Julie's Page This is my friend Julie's website that she never updates.
This is my friend Susanna's site. She's a fucking awesome artist.
Starina's Lair This is Veronica's website. Veronica also happens to be a fucking awesome artist. Total weirdness and craziness, eh?
Everything about Cats - Cat History, Cat Humor, Cat Fun! Just what it says it is. Not as extensive as it sounds, but still a good home base for those who want to look into getting a little bundle of cuddly for themselves.
This site is loaded with graphics, facts, jokes, stories, games, and more. Devout cat-worshippers will be satisfied.
Cooking.com - Recipe Browse (French recipes) If you're like most Americans and aren't feeling 100% amicable towards the French right now, you can still enjoy the guilty pleasures of French cuisine. Some of it is pretty good.
PETA::Living::Cooking With PETA There are plenty of people who honestly believe that a vegan lifestyle is healthier and tastier than a lifestyle of hedonism and Wendy's. I don't believe in that, but you can give some of these recipes a try. Some of them don't look too bad.
Sue Bee's Kitchen One of my old cyber pals from my old movie stage has a recipe website with a Patsy Cline theme. There's a great array of recipes here that's sure to get your mouth watering. I have come here a few times on Yom Kippur. =p
"Babyface" - A Tribute to Nancy Carroll (section of a Nancy Carroll website featuring recipes Nancy cooked during her lifetime, as well as some Irish recipes in general) This same old cyber pal also has a website dedicated to old-time actress Nancy Carroll, and it features some Irish-themed recipes, some of which Carroll enjoyed herself.
Peta::Living::PETA Eats This section of the PETA site features recipes from featured vegan restaurants.
newbox (80's realaudio songs) Download Real Audio files of several beloved 80's songs. Good selection!
Kazaa This is a most superior way to download mp3s. Easy, free, and with a very large selection.
W.R. Bennett's Funeral Coaches: Funeral Hearses of All Ages! Hearses for sale!
The Official Website. Home of Hello Kitty The official Sanrio website is great for checking out (and purchasing) the latest from everyone's favorite mouthless feline.
The Coloring World - Hello Kitty Page Go here to print images of Hello Kitty (and other cartoon characters) to color.
Hello Kitty Has No Mouth She has no mouth, and why?
Can't Get Enough Futurama: Futurama News Futurama is the most superior show ever, with Home Movies being a close second. Fry, Bender, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Amy, Dr. Zoidberg, Mom, and all the rest are all extraordinary cartoon players in what is probably the funniest show of all time. Click here for all kinds of great show info; I especially like the sound files.
ULTiMaTeDoLLz.com - This site, which can only be used with the latest version of Microsoft Internet Explorer, is awesome. It enables you to make cyber-dollies!!! (That's where I made these buddy icons.) You can select from a vast selection of clothes - fairy wings, shorts, skirts, bikinis, shirts, pants, dresses, jackets, and shoes - for your doll, plus a variety of skin tones and hair colors (including hair colors found on those who keep large quantities of Manic Panic in their bathrooms). You also get a decent choice of bodies, legs, and torsos to choose from (all are of Barbie-style measurements). You can create as many of these dolls as you want; it's incredibly easy to do, and once done, you not only get a picture of your doll, but also a buddy icon! As if that wasn't cool enough, you can make guy dolls, too. This site is addictive, and is more fun than playing computer Solitaire.