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Alex Trebek:  Hello everybody and welcome to this edition of NES Celebrity Jeopardy!  Today we have three interesting contestants.  Why don't we go meet them!

Trebek:  Our first contestant comes from Capcom games.  You guessed it, it's Mega Man!
(Mega Man walks to the first podium, showing off his plasma cannon to the audience.)
Trebek:  Our next two contestants are the most famous brothers in the history of video gaming.  Here they are, Mario and Luigi!
(Mario and Luigi walk to the second and third podiums, both with their game faces on.)
Mario:  Prepare to a-lose, Luigi.
Luigi:  Nuh-uh.  You've been a-number one for sooo long.  Today is a-my turn!
Trebek:  Now now, you two.  Let's wait till we begin to start the trash talking.  And please, attempt to refrain from using vulgar language.  Mega Man, keep them in line.
MM: (Shows off plasma cannon again)  Who wants to mess?
Trebek:  Now that that's cleared up, let's take a look at our categories:  NES Websites, Nintendo History, NES Characters, NES Game Companies, Nintendo Power, Potpourri.  Mega Man, the board is yours.
MM:  And if it wasn't, I would make it mine.  I'll take Nintendo History for...300.
Trebek:  The answer is:  When did Nintendo's subsidiary, Nintendo of America, open?
(silence)
Trebek:  1980.  Too bad you didn't know that are you could have taken a quick lead.
Luigi:  Are you saying I'm behind Mario or something?  That's it!  (Luigi punches Mario upside the head)
Mario:  Mama mia!  (Eats fire flower and throws fireball toward Luigi)  How do you feel now, mofo?
MM:  (Fires plasma cannon into air)  Don't try anything.  Hahaha!  I am the mighty one!
Mario: I'll show you who the mighty one is!  (Picks up the leaner Luigi and hurls him in MM's direction.  MM is hit and falls to ground.)
Trebek:  Guards!
(Police come in and restore order as the audience cheers "Tre-bek!  Tre-bek!")
Trebek:  Now now.  If we have an outburst like that again, we may have to disqualify one of you.  Not that you care, oh well.  Mega Man, the board is still yours.
MM:  Let's go with Nintendo Power for 100. 
Trebek:  The answer is:  This character appeared on both the first and hundredth issue of Nintendo Power.
(Mario buzzes in)
Mario:  It's a me, Mario!
Trebek:  Incorrect.
Mario:  What the @$&!
Luigi: Who is Mario?
Trebek:  That's correct!
Mario: I just said that!
Luigi:  You have to answer in the form of a question, smarts.
(Police filter into studio, anticipating brawl.  Mario sees them and backs off.  As police circle around Mario and Luigi, Mega Man wanders over to where Trebek is standing.  He takes Trebek's head and slams it into the podium.)
Trebek:  Oh no!  Please don't hurt me!
MM:  Oops, too late.  Mwahaha!
(MM takes Trebek's powers.  To see what they do, he decides to use them.)
MM:  O $!@#!  I'm a nerd!  And I'm gay too!  My god, what next!  (MM walks over toward Mario and Luigi and works his way through police.)  You two boys are looking fine tonight.
Mario: Mega Man, what's a-wrong with you?
MM:  Nothing, baby.
Mario:  Police!  (Police run over and see what the problem is.)
MM:  (Changing back to normal self)  Wha...what happened?  I don't remember anything.
Luigi:  And that's a good thing.  You don't a-want to remember.
MM:  Well, Trebek's dead.  Seeing as how we don't have someone to read questions, I say we settle this with a battle royale.
Mario and Luigi:  It's agreed!  But how do we get a-rid of those cops?
(MM, Mario, and Luigi hold a whispering conference.  Satisfied, they break apart.)
Mario and Luigi:  (Handing officers psychodelic shrooms)  Eat up, lots a-fun!
Officers:  YaY!
(With officers high, battle begins.)
Mega Man:  (Running over to Trebek's dead body)  Come on, let's go!
(Mario and Luigi grab nightsticks from officers)
Mario:  Here we go!
(With Mario running toward MM, MM picks up Trebek and hurls him at Mario.  Mario ducks and Luigi is hit in the face.)
Luigi:  Ayeee!  (Luigi falls to the ground knocked out.)
Mario:  You're unarmed now, Mega Man.
MM:  We'll see about that.  (Switching to Trebek)  Come closer, baby.
Mario:  O my god!  That's disgusting!  (Runs out of studio)
MM:  Super!  I won!  I think I'll take Luigi as my grand prize.
Audience:  Oh my!  (Run out of studio)
MM:  Fantastic!  Now Luigi and I have some time alone...

Unfortunately, Mega Man did not switch back to his normal self.  For the sake of humanity, let's go to a commercial break...

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