The Darkovan Inquirer


Published Weekly

Issue #230



Believe It or Not…


Dom Auster recently complained that things were too quiet in the Castle at Stone Haven. He’s already dealing with a new wife, a treasonous conspiracy, a miffed grandmother, and a grudge match against his master-of-arms. What more could be done to pep things up for him? A visit from Sharra, perhaps? A call for rescue from the Swedish Bikini Team? Maybe Darren MacBride should drop in astrally for some real action.


Heir on the Side of Caution


Continuing “Austerfest”, it seems to us that Dom Auster is choosing to keep a low profile on having sired an heir on his new bride, instead of shouting it from the rooftops, due to the threat of assassination. He should talk to Lord and Lady Storn – they have that problem all locked up, shall we say. And if they went into a time zone that moved a little faster, the child might actually be born before his foster sister grows up and decides to leave home and become a Renunciate. Perhaps Dom Auster should send him to Terra with Domna Emelda when she goes back.


All’s Quiet in the DI Office

Given the lateness of the hour, the Unknown Reporter tried to get some sleep at the office. The editor, startled by rustling in the corner of the DI Editorial office, called an exterminator, thinking the building was infested with Darkovan ice mice making a nest. What the exterminator found was the UR snoring away in a pile of paper bags after sneaking back out of Stone Haven through the hidden passages that Dom Auster doesn’t want anyone to know about!


New Dance Craze


The newest fad in the Kilghard Hills this season is “The Catman Dance”, first introduced at Castle Stone Haven by Lady Javanne. Participants dress in gray furs and don the clawed gloves of the kifirgh duellists, then prance about while making slashing motions with their hands. Not to be outdone, Dom Auster has assembled his men in the practice room to develop his own dance, apparently also connected with duelling. Let’s hope a thaw comes before everyone makes fools of themselves.

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