Poetry
These poems were all written by Tigger. You can email her here. Thanks Tig!
WARNING: Some poems may be triggering!
More deep, dark thoughts
More cuts
I think i'm really lost
no guts
To try and tell someone
I fell
this is not fun
It's hell
The cuts stare up at me
I laugh
Part of me is pleased
yet half
wants to fall on my knees
I don't
but i put down the pen
I won't
Ever have what could have been
I cut
Instead of talking
No luck
In ever, ever walking
Far away
From the pain i feel
I stay
This is what's real
the hate
Starts to build up
too late
To even give a fuck
There are thoughs
in my head
That i've never told
No one's ever read
The secrets in my heart
that i hold
Hiding them from the world
They're new & old
Dark thoughts in me
Bad things
I don't want to say
it would bring
worry to their lives
Thoughts of blood
it's all and only mine
I'd love
to fulfill my thoughts
but i won't
They'll just stay here
They don't
Need to leave my head
There's a razor in my hand
I can't put it down
And i can't stand
the destiny to which i'm bound
Will i ever have the power
to put it down and move one
Not any time soon-within the hour
More cuts i will don
The love i used to feel
is long, long lost
I don't like that this is real
So, i pay the cost
I'm the only one it hurts
but it gets rid of the pain
And i realize that it works
it's a ray of sun through the rain
But it scares me
That i need it so much
Even though...I need it to be
it's amazing what a razor can do with just one touch
In my mind
I see the blade
and i can't hide
the cuts it's made
Though i try
To cover them up
They can look into my eyes
No such luck
I struggle to be
the girl of which i dream
Deep inside of me
She's there...you see
And introvert and heart
She's trying to be seen
And it's tearing me apart
Cuz That's who i want to be
i don't want to be
The girl that
can't stop talking
To anyone who asks
Happy on the outside
Nodding with a smile that's fade
but deep on the inside...
This fantasy i'll make
I know it sounds bad
But i'm tired of spilling
Out everything when i'm mad
to the first persone that's willing
willing to lend an ear
But then i wonder
do they really hear
All of this i mutter
With a sigh i smile
Because i'm changing
In front of their eyes, while
I pretend the same I'm staying
When i feel i've lost control
I search for something
but all i know
Is that antidote is frustrating
i cry every time i take it
cuz it doesn't make things better
it just takes all this shit
and makes it what i fear
But here's another part of me
that loves the feeling it get
that feels everything let free
the moment the razor i set
the crimson elixer transfixes my eyes
It's heaven...it's hell
it erases all the lies
it's a feeling both sides know all too well
When I do it
It takes away the pain
It washes away the strife
It cleans like rain.

The blood takes my mind
Off of all the bad things
Itís like an adrenaline rush
I feel like I have wings.

While I watch the blood flow
Lifeís problems slip away
Itís an addictive feeling
It helps me face the day

Iíve went 10 weeks without it
I canít hold out any longer
All alongÖ I knew it
Why did I even bother?

Iím going to cut away
From all the problems I face
The high will only last so long
Itís a sweet thrill of which Iíve missed the taste.
It won't hurt
It really helps
It feels to good
Compared to the pain I've felt.

I want to use it
To take away the pain,
But I'm fighting with myself,
My heart against my brain.

My brain's telling me
That it won't be right
My heart is telling me
To give up this fight

I'm sick of fighting
Tired of all this shit,
I'm going to use a razor
My wrists I will slit.
As the sweet crimson rivers
Run down my wrist
I sit and I watch,
I am transfixed.

From the moment the razor
Touches my skin,
I'm taken from this world
And from the problems within.

Deep in my soul
I cry for help,
But no one can hear me,
I'm by myself.

Life is getting to me
It's stating to be too much
Though- I know I can cut it awa with a razor
Cut it away with just one touch.
I'm going to cut away
All of this pain & strife
I'm going to cut away
Cut away my life.

I'm going to cut away
From the life I hate at home,
I'm going to cut away,
So I won't feel so alone.

I'm going to cut away
From the fighting & the yelling,
I'm going to cut away
So on the pain there's no more dwelling.

I'm going to cut away
Cut away my life
I'm going to cut away
From all the pain & strife.
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All I can see
Is the blood on my arm
All I can focus on
Is my self-harm

My body pleads for it
To send away the pain
My soul yearns for it
To cut away the strain

Every fiber of me
Urges me to slice
Up and down my arm
To take away my life

Give me something else
Something else to do
Before I kill myself
Please, Iím begging you
Black rain
Pouring over me
Tears of blood
Spilling from within.

Echoes of pain
Ringing in my head
Tears fall
From a pair of blue eyes

This is me
Crying for you
Forseeing you
Crying for me.
Questions
Over-running my thinking
Doubts
Flooding me through
Jealousy
Though I try to deny it
Hate
Boiling beneath the surface
Anger
Flowing in my veins
Questions
To which there are no answers
Doubts
Of which I can't ignore
Jealousy
I cannot overcome
Hate
That I can't fight
Anger
Taking over me
people look at me
and they don't see
the girl inside
that's dying

what they see
is a lie
the smile that i wear
is an illusion

i smile wide
but i'm dying inside
no one knows
because i don't want them to

i gave up
and I'm hiding it
from the world
but I can't hide it from myself
She's scared to look back
She's scared of her past
The demons that haunt her
She can bare no longer.

Ready to give up the fight
She can't do what she knows is right
She's too afraid to see it
And so she cna't defeat it.

Turning to the blade
Wishing she could fade
Into the cold, hard sting
To bleed is all she needs.

I'm too scared to look back
To scared to face my past
So I'll never be free
From the demons that haunt me.
The pain of the past
Is cut away
Met by
The sting of the blade

The tears of sorrow
Stop flowing
The moment
I begin to bleed.

The blade is my enemy
As well as my friend,
It will be with me
When I meet the end.
She looks in the mirror
Hating what she sees,
A fat, weak, pathetic girl
Is all she'll ever be.
She can't stand the pain
Exuding from her past,
She doesn't know if she can fight it
Or how long she will last
A victim of the world
She created herself
She turnes to the blade
But it doens't help.
It used to numb her pain
She couldn't feel a thing
But that seems so far away now,
As if it were a dream.
She lays down on her bed,
her wrists slit down deep
Finally, she's killing the pain
And falling forever asleep
A razor now
In my hand
Happier now
Than I've ever been.
I'm bleeding now
Losing life,
Letting go
Of my strife.
I cut myself
To get away,
I cut too deep
To deep today.
I'm dying now
On the floor,
I close my eyes
And know no more.
Seeing what surrounds me
Not wanting to live,
My will is withering
My life I shall give.
Give as I take it
Die as I might
Sometime today
I shall take my life.
The whisper of echoes
Driving me mad
I look back
And see what I had.
Once I was happy
I didn't feel like this
And now it's that time
That time that I miss.
But this is now
And that was then
I'm more emptry
Than I've ever been.
And so it goes
It will be tonight,
I'll end this pain
I'll end my life.
I'm lying on the floor
Staring at the blade
The need inside of me
Makes the pain fade.
Now it's my hand on the blade
Instead of my eyes
I can't put it down
No matter how hard I try.
I press down hard
My body welcomes the sting
My eyes see the blood
I'm flooded with relief,
I set the blade down
And let myself bleed.
My pain has grown
From a whisper to a scream.
Feel My Pain

If you look inside my soul
Behind the mask of a care-free teen
You'll see things you detest
That seem to prosper in a waking dream

You'll see the tears of a broken child
From shattered innocence they fall
I was forced to mature
I learned to walk before I crawled

You'll see the memories
The movement of hands in the dark
From their secret actions
You'll see my scars

You'll see my blood
Flowing from both wrists
A victim of fate
With a cruel twist

You'll see my sorrow
And their little game
You'll see inside me
And you'll feel my pain
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