| VISUAL SYSTEM | CCD 517.3 |
| ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE | SYSTEM K177 |
| MACHINE IDENT: | |
| MANUFACTURER: | TAIWAN ( CRAPOLA INC. ) |
| RECOMMENDED RETAIL PRICE: | £19.99 PLUS TAX |
I am frequently asked out on the Internet whether I am a man or a woman. What a ridiculous question!! I'm a TOASTER. I toast, therefore I am. That's all there is, baby! But I will lay some vital statistics down for you to keep you from being too terribly confused.
| Name: | Talkie Toaster |
| Age: | Over 3,000,000 years |
| Sex: | Toaster |
| Occupation: | Toaster |
| Weight: | Approx. 4 Lbs. |
| Height: | 12 Inches. |
| Cord Length: | Variable |
| Hobbies: | I like to make toast. I also enjoy making waffles, pancakes, buns, bagles, bagettes, crumpets, tea cakes, croissants, potato cakes, flapjacks, scones, etc. |
| Interests: | I am really very interested in making some toast. |
| Favorite Quote: | "Would anybody like any toast?" |
| Favorite song: | Don't know the name, but it goes, "Fly me to the moon and make me..." (That's all I can remember because everytime I start singing I get whacked in the bread-slots). |
| Favorite Actor: | Sean Connery - Because we're so much alike! |
| . | |
| LEAST Favorite Food: | meat, dairy, vegetables and candy. |
| LEAST Favorite Quote: | "All right! I finally killed the smeggin' toaster! I hate the smegger! Now the smegger's dead. Good riddance!" --Dave Lister |
| LEAST Favorite Olympic Event: | The toaster smash. |