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Bios Reading:

VISUAL SYSTEM CCD 517.3
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE SYSTEM K177
MACHINE IDENT: TALKIE TOASTER
MANUFACTURER: TAIWAN ( CRAPOLA INC. )
RECOMMENDED RETAIL PRICE: 19.99 PLUS TAX

talkie toaster

I am frequently asked out on the Internet whether I am a man or a woman. What a ridiculous question!! I'm a TOASTER. I toast, therefore I am. That's all there is, baby! But I will lay some vital statistics down for you to keep you from being too terribly confused.





MY STATISTICS:
Name: Talkie Toaster
Age: Over 3,000,000 years
Sex: Toaster
Occupation: Toaster
Weight: Approx. 4 Lbs.
Height: 12 Inches.
Cord Length: Variable
Hobbies: I like to make toast. I also enjoy making waffles, pancakes, buns, bagles, bagettes, crumpets, tea cakes, croissants, potato cakes, flapjacks, scones, etc.
Interests: I am really very interested in making some toast.
Favorite Quote: "Would anybody like any toast?"
Favorite song: Don't know the name, but it goes, "Fly me to the moon and make me..." (That's all I can remember because everytime I start singing I get whacked in the bread-slots).
Favorite Actor: Sean Connery - Because we're so much alike!
.
LEAST Favorite Food: meat, dairy, vegetables and candy.
LEAST Favorite Quote: "All right! I finally killed the smeggin' toaster! I hate the smegger! Now the smegger's dead. Good riddance!" --Dave Lister
LEAST Favorite Olympic Event: The toaster smash.
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