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Howdy Doodley Do! I'm Talkie. Talkie Toaster, your CHIRPY Breakfast Companion. Talkie's the Name and TOASTIN'S the game. Welcome to Talkie Toaster's Realm of Toast, the companion website for the popular Yahoo! Red Dwarf club Talkie Toaster's Toast O Rama.

Would anybody like any toast?

Well, if your answer is yes, you're definately in the right place. This is probably the ONLY website on the ENTIRE Internet completely dedicated to ME, Talkie Toaster and my favorite obsession: TOAST.

Although I frequently have smeg-heads attacking me with 14 pound lump-hammers and trying to smash me into little bits, I enjoy toasting bread products quite a bit, almost as much as I do OFFERING grilled bread products to people and providing my user with toast and early morning conversation.

Since I was manufactured by Crapola, Inc., I am not only reliable and durable, but incessantly chirpy and cheerful as well. So, if you're ever depressed or in a bad mood, come on out to my website here and have a look around. That'll fix ya! But if it doesn't, you might even be able to catch me out on Yahoo! toasting away like my perky little self, and if you see me, chat me up. I'll make you some toast and cheer you up so your heart will once again be soft and warm as a blueberry muffin in a toaster's paradise.

Is there anything ever as wonderful as toast?

I didn't think so.

So, anyway, enjoy your trip through my Realm of Toast and have a blast. That is, you have a blast, not you blast me with a bazookoid and leave me in the cargo hold in a thousand million pieces. And keep in mind the question of questions, the age old enigma that mankind has been quizzicly pondering for millenia: "Would anybody like any toast?"

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