 |
| 365 : a retrospective glance 12-09-03 11:55 AM Wow, another year gone already. Amazing isnt it? I am not referring to the calendar year, which is also flying forward to an end, but a year of life. Yesterday marked my 28th year of playing Life. I can still remember my parents telling me that when I got older, the time would fly right by, that I should enjoy being young while I can. Dammit...they were right! The past 10 yrs have flown by so rapidly that I sometimes forget that I am now a "grownup". People my age are married with several children, or divorced and angry. They have settled into jobs that they may or may not enjoy. Some of them have stunning careers. They have mortgages and car payments and matching dinnerware. And yet here I am, 28 yrs old, and I have none of that (well except for the dinnerware). I have not yet accepted my "Responsible Adult" diploma. I am not entirely certain I want to yet. This past year of my life has been filled a flurry of activity, and yet my LIFE still seems utterly stagnant. I have travelled the country, seen the beauty of Banff AB, lived the "reluctant cowgirl" lifestyle in Central AB, wandered across the vast prairies (ohhhh look...a bale of hay!), fell in love with the subdued artsy glamour of Ottawa, was awestruck at the roaring wonder of Niagara Falls, and bought a tiny smiley face sticker from a homeless woman on the frigid streets of Toronto. I have also quit a job that I had held for 4 years, moved away, started a new job, quit it as well, reluctantly, when I moved back. I did begin a new career here as noted in my previous entry. Tensions and power struggles, and a mess of impossibly poor management forced me to resign my position, and I am once again on the hunt for a new, stimulating career (does such exist, or is it just a "grass is greener" thing?). I am, of course, still single. Not really much to report on that front, as most of it has already been documented here in other entries. I am now a Great-Aunt to a 7mos old beautiful baby boy...first child of my 21 yr old nephew and his longtime girlfriend. Great-Aunt....damn. I spent my birthday on the road, after a 4 day vacation to Niagara Falls and Toronto with some friends. While most of the trip was lovely (how can the Falls not be?), it did not go as anticipated, and things went awry, including a spectacular fight throughout the Eaton Center mall and down Younge Street (I dont like to stereotype, but UGH! men can really be stupid sometimes!!!). Now I am home. I dont feel any older, but my profile information on my journal title page tells me I am, and so it must be. I cant imagine what this year will bring. But I know it is time for me to proactively SEEK, and not just kick over the occasional rock. I will find the LIFE I am meant to lead, and not merely exist as I have allowed myself. This is not a New Year's resolution (whoever keeps those?), but a commitment to myself to improve upon my situation in any way. Maybe being a grownup isnt so bad. I might give it a try. |
 |