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What God has joined together let no man put asunder
Great words from the Holy Bible but unfortunately the United States Government
has no respect for them.
Some time after
the passing of my late wife I decided that, "it was not good for man
to be alone" so I started to become interested in pursuing another wife. Well, where
does a single parent with absolutely no time on his hands go to meet a lady? The
internet of course! It was no different then someone writing to a lonely hearts club
ad or getting fixed up on a blind date. In fact; in ways, it was much better.
I met Malou through
an ad on the internet. As a matter of fact I met quite a few
women on the internet. I had sought out ladies from the Philippines as I had heard
so many good things about them. They were said to be loyal, down to earth, family
oriented and not as worldly as many of their western counterparts.
to some of the ladies I began to "read through" what they were saying
and what they actually meant and found out that not all Philippine woman are just
looking for love and marriage but some have hidden agendas such as wealth and
the American dream. This in itself is not a bad thing as long as you're not marrying
to do it.
Malou was different.
First off, she was a born again Christian something that was a
number one priority for me. Also, she seemed genuinely surprised that I wrote to
her. Later I found out that an old boyfriend from America, sent her pic and details
into a web site without her knowledge.. It seems they pay to collect names and
photos and then sell them many times over.
I wrote back and
told her how disappointed that I was because I thought she was
interested in meeting someone. I was glad when she replied that we should
continue to correspond and if it was God's will then all well and good.
I continued to
write and then started calling which became very expensive but
worth every penny. I found myself falling in love with her. I had became very familiar
with her thoughts, hopes and aspirations and her voice was like music when I heard
it. Well, it may sound corny but after a year I was head over heals in love with her so,
I asked her to marry me and she graciously said yes!
So now what do
we do? I started looking into how to get her into the country . She
wasn't able to come on a visa because our government does not allow persons that
don't own real estate or have large bank accounts and good jobs, and reside in a
third world nation to enter the U.S. on a visa. The only way I saw was to get a
fiancée' visa so I applied. After multiple forms, $75.00 (I think) and months of waiting,
I was finally turned down. The reason? Because I never met her in person. Now you
must know that the government will waive that requirement if the person that you're
marrying has a custom in their country where it is not allowed meeting before
marriage. This was not my basis for an appeal but I did believe that if the
government could waive the rules for cultural reasons, they certainly should be able
to waive them for religious reasons. We both believe that it was God who put us
together and in that case no personal meeting was necessary. So I fired off more
forms, $125.00 and waited, and waited and waited for an appeal that until this day
-10-23-1999, has never been answered. In the meantime I had one window of
opportunity where my daughter would be away with relatives and I was able to fly to
the Philippines and meet my Malou.
The plan was that
I would marry her when I arrived. Well, after all, the U.S. couldn't
keep her out after that could they?
We had a beautiful
wedding. Her family and friends were terrific people with
wonderful personality and genuineness that all people should have. Our
"Honeymoon" was mainly going to restaurants and hanging out at the mall as we
had to go to the embassy and civil hall and a whole host of other necessary places
to accomplish what we had hoped to accomplish. Of course the best laid plans of
mice and men doth fail so after my stay was up I was kissing my wife goodbye at the
airport and began a very sad and depressing flight home.
my return I began to put the wheels in motion to bring my
sweetheart home to me. I called INS (Immigration & Naturalization Service) (I'll be
darned why they call it a service because there is absolutely no serving going on
there) and proceeded to tell them that although they turned me down because I
never met my fiancée, and although I spent months trying to get that visa, and
although I have an appeal pending that they have yet to answer, that they could
now approve everything as I have been to the Philippines, met my fiancée and not
only met her but married her too! When does she come? I couldn't believe it when
the voice on the other end of the phone told me that I shouldn't have done that.
"Why not" I asked being taken aback. He told me because now you have to file a
new petition. One that requests permission for a spouse to enter the country. He
said I would have to start all over and it could take up to one year.
My heart could
have exploded and I would not have known the difference. The
feeling of loss, exhaustion, frustration and hopelessness all came together in one
swirling mass inside my head. My brain started to tell me to reason, use logic. I
explained to him how the point of my meeting her was consummated. I went on to
say that my family had been in this country long before it was called America and
how we fought in every war this country ever had. (We even fought against each
other in the not-so-civil war) It all fell on deaf ears. He did divulge that the reason
that it takes so long was because all of the illegal aliens that were granted
citizenship by our president were now applying to bring their relatives over here
and at any given time there are about 25,000 applications pending. It mattered not
that your family has supported this government in finance, war, and prayers for over
two hundred years you were just thrown on the bottom of the heap like everyone
else. That was in July. Since then I filed all the new papers and yes, sent them
another $110.00 to try to start the ball rolling. After waiting two months I called
Senator's Thurmond's office to complain that I haven't yet even been assigned a
number. His office called them and when I called them back they told me that I
would probably have to file again as INS couldn't find my papers. I told them that I
sent all original documents and that it would take my wife at least two weeks or
more just to compile the information again. I also told them that I have a receipt
saying that the INS received my letter but they said, " but if they don't have it what
can they do?"
my blood pressure up to an unhealthy figure and waiting a bit longer
(about another week) I was now informed that they found my papers but out of the
six million places that I needed to sign (okay, I exaggerated a little) that I left out one
signature. So they informed me that they were sending it back that I might sign it.
Two weeks later it arrived. It must have come on horseback. Anyway I signed and
returned it (certified for what it's worth) the same day. That was weeks ago and I still
haven't heard a thing. Well, that's my sad story. If I had a buyer for my house I would
move to the Philippines to be with my wife at least until the U.S. finally allows her to
come here. For now I spend hundreds of dollars in phone calls and try to keep from
crying at night when I look at her picture. After all, men don't cry do they?
Here for updates and more unbelievable bureaucracy.
can reach me by e-mail at:7101@USA.NET