Skydancer's Page o' Mockery
You cautiously enter the room, followed by Moondancer. Yellowing articles and pictures plaster the wall. Most articles have sections highlighted and derisive comments scribbled in the margins. The pictures have had mustaches and, in some cases, devil horns draw onto them. Moondancer is strangely silent to your questions.
Suddenly, a yellow pegasus with rainbow hair swoops up and lands in front of you. "Hi!" he says. "I'm Skydancer! Welcome to my 'Page o' Mockery'! It's sponsored by Moondancer, of course," he adds, politely dipping his head in her direction (but wearing a devilish grin).
"Nonsense!" Moondancer says, looking embarrassed. "I only let you put this up because you kept bothering me about it."
"Uh huh, suuuuuuuure," Skydancer says in an unbelieving tone. "Anyway," he continues, turning towards you. "I hope you'll come and join me as we look at some things worthy of mockery. Before we go on with this, I would like to say that I only mock silly people who go out of their way to irritate others--not just other people with different opinions. Other opinions are fine with me. Okay, let's move on now . . ."
Looking over your shoulder, you see Moondancer smile and shake her head. Then she slips out of the room.
"And now for the interview," Skydancer says, sitting in one of the chairs. Light floods the stage while the rest of the room darkens.
IHMLP steps onto the stage and sits in the other chair looking suspicious.
Skydancer: Now tell me, IHMLP, what exactly does you name stand for?
IHMLP: It stands for "I Hate My Little Ponies"--and that means YOU!
Skydancer (without turning a hair): Thanks for sharing. So what I heard is that you ran into a MLP chat room and said, *glances at his notes* "MLPs suck. Everyone in this chat room is a baby." *looks at IHMLP*
IHMLP: That's right!
Skydancer: But you were in the chat room at that time. Wouldn't that make you a baby?
IHMLP: Uhhhhh . . .
Skydancer: And if you don't like MLPs, what were you doing hanging out in a MLP chat room? Do you like spinach, IHMLP?
IHMLP (confused): What?
Skydancer (speaking more slowly): Do . . . you . . . like . . . spinach?
IHMLP: Errr, no . . .
Skydancer: Do you go and try to find websites and chat rooms devoted to spinach and then enter them?
IHMLP: Well, no . . . That . . . that's different.
Skydancer: Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that. Well, let's move on. *looks at his notes again* Well, it seems that the members of the chat room "booted" you out, forcing you to physically leave the chat room.
IHMLP: Um, yeah.
Skydancer: But wait! It seems you were booted out not once, but about . . . *Skydancer counts the tally marks* . . . five times! Were you really stupid enough to keep coming into the chat room after you got booted out the first time?? *tries unsuccessfully to hold back laughter*
IHMLP (defensively): I wasn't being stupid! I just . . . liked getting booted out. Or something. I guess.
Skydancer (grinning like a fox): Uh huh. Right.
IHMLP: No, really!
Skydancer (still grinning): Oh, and here's another item . . . it seems you told Cool Breeze you were her "worst enemy". Yes, yes, you certainly strike fear into my heart! *laughs*
IHMLP (offended): Hey! Stop laughing at me!
Skydancer: No.
IHMLP (upset): You'd better stop or I'll . . . I'll . . . I'll make YOU my worst enemy, too!
Skydancer (in mock horror): Oh noooooo, not that! *nearly doubles over laughing*
IHMLP (really upset): Stop it! Stop it!
Skydancer (managing to withhold his mirth): Speaking of being someone's "worst enemy" . . . *face contorts as he obviously withholds more laughter with difficulty* Ahem. Yes. Well, aren't you actually just some lame snobby girl who happened to be at some party with Cool Breeze in real life?
IHMLP: Uh . . . NO!
Skydancer (persisting): In fact, isn't it true that CB knows your phone number? That she could easily find out where you live? That she could contact your parents?
IHMLP (nearly hysterical): NO! It's lies! All lies!
Skydancer: I wonder what your parents would think of all this. Let's find out, shall we? *pulls out a cell phone*
IHMLP runs out crying. Skydancer grins and puts down the cell phone.
"To sum up:"
"Well, that's the only really stupid person on the Page right now," Skydancer says, looking slightly disappointed. "But we do have some things from movies and videos which I can gently mock!"
"Gently mock?" you ask.
"Yep! The difference is that I'm just poking fun at things which I actually like instead of making fun of something I don't like," he explains. "Just because I'm pointing out amusing flaws about the stuff on this half of the page doesn't mean I don't like them!"
"Okay, the first item I'd like to comment on is the Lady LovelyLocks video called 'The Noble Quest'," Skydancer says. He kicks a certain panel on the wall and a picture slowly begins turning around--there is a big-screen TV on the other side!
Skydancer grins as you gape at the TV. "Now don't tell Moondancer about this, okay?" he says, winking.
"Anyway, check out the great dialogue from this scene!" Skydancer turns on the TV, and the screen shows a brunette haired girl (Duchess RavenWaves) talking to the townspeople of the village.
Duchess RavenWaves: Lady LovelyLocks isn't here! She's abandoned you!
The townspeople mutter amongst themselves for a minute.
Townsman: Then why isn't Lady LovelyLocks here to tell us herself?
Skydancer presses the "Pause" button. "Yes, it would certainly be inconsiderate of Lady LovelyLocks to abandon anyone without telling them first!" he chuckles. "Now let's move on . . ."
You follow Skydancer over to a pedestal with a small ceramic figurine resting on top of it.
"The ironic thing here is that many supposedly 'female' ponies are actually male here in the Dream, like Applejack, Sunbeam, and Bubbles . . . there are only about four regular ponies from that year that are female here . . . and yet Hasbro still managed to pick one of them to marry Moondancer in this piece! Well, let's continue with our tour . . ."
Skydancer trots to another pedestal. A tape recorder sits on top of this one.
"Now this little gem was pointed out to me by Twilight. Hasbro made several read-along books that came with tapes. This tape has three stories on it, 'Lost in the Clouds', 'The Magic Rainbow,' and 'Glory the Magic Unicorn,' but we'll only be playing to an exerpt from 'The Magic Rainbow' . . ."
"At this point in the book, Blossom, Firefly, and Moondancer have all wished on a magic rainbow and their wishs are coming true, but not in the best ways. Firefly wished for wind and got a wind storm, Blossom wished her garden would bloom and now there are no buds left, and Moondancer . . . well, she wished for darkness, which is making her friends nervous. Let's listen, shall we?" Skydancer turns on the tape recorder.
The tape begins playing:
'There's no reason to be afraid of the dark,' said Moondancer in a brave voice. 'I would lead you out of the darkness, but I do believe it's dark everywhere.'
Poor Moondancer felt very sad and guilty for making a wish which frightened his friends--
Skydancer turns off the tape recorder. "There! Did you hear that? 'His friends'! Boy, and I thought the Wedding Prance thing upset Moondancer . . . Luckily, that's the only place on the tape where they mess up Moondancer's gender--the rest of the time they say 'her' and 'she' like they should."
Skydancer grins."We also have a new subpage of the Page o' Mockery, but it's not for the faint hearted! In the interest of detering flamers, Moondancer has put up a disclaimer for the Ponies from the Wrong Side of the Rainbow page!"
Well, that's all we have up right now," Skydancer concudes. "But hopefully we'll find some more things to mock! Come back soon!"
The picture of Skydancer was originally a picture of Seashell from Ivy's free picture page. Thanks Ivy!
Also thanks to Dream Valley for the picture of 'Wedding Prance'!
Name:
IHMLP
Status:
Moron Major Malfunction:
Forced to seek out pages dedicated to things she doesn't like. Proposed Reason:
Lack of brain IQ Level:
Carrot
"The first thing that struck me as funny in this video is that the townspeople get to vote for their leader in a feudal society--wow, talk about your enlightened royalty! Well, it seems that evil Duchess RavenHair is trying to get all the peasants to vote for her by convincing them that Lady LovelyLocks has abandoned them. (Of course, in reality the Duchess has trapped Lady LovelyLocks in her castle.)"
"Now this is funny! This ceramic statue is called 'Wedding Prance'. It's a good thing Moondancer isn't here because she just hates this piece--and no wonder! Not only is she portrayed with pink hair, but she's getting married to Glory!" Skydancer laughs.
