Disclaimer:  As always, UFO and its denizens belong to Century 21, Gerry Anderson, et al.  I'm just borrowing them for a bit to make life difficult.

Time:  Yesterday

Place:  England and New Mexico

Spoilers:  For the series, nyah.

Half Life

© 2001, dragon

Daybreak.

The man on the bed in the ascetic bedroom grimaced as his dreams took the turns they always took.  Explosions.  Blurry faces.  Hands on his arms lifting him out of a depression in the ground.  The terror and determination within as he realized these were not friends but enemies.  Sweat poured off his body in rivulets, soaking his sheets.  He twisted the smooth linen in his hands as the dream evolved.

His eyes snapped open as they always did, the dream fading even as his gaze became clear and blue, alert.  He blinked, staring at the ceiling.  The ceiling was white.  The walls were white, the only touches of color two small, expensive oil paintings by Old Masters.  He took a shuddering breath and relaxed.  He ran a hand over his face, removing the drying sweat.  He frowned.  Damn.  He was going to go talk to his doctor again.  This low level fever every night was extremely trying.

He got up, padded bare foot to the bathroom and ran through his morning routine, including a hot shower to remove the residue of the night.  He stared into the reflections of his own direct blue gaze as he brushed his teeth, flossed and then shaved his sparse beard.  He frowned.  He had an idea that once his beard had been far thicker.  Then he grinned at his reflection.  He parted his hair precisely on the left and swept it back from his face with two deft swipes of the comb.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.  The silver white was distinctive and distinguished.  It also attracted the ladies, although he was uncertain about all that fuss.  It just never felt right.

Except for Maddy.  But then, Maddy was a whole different kettle of beans.  He grinned again.  Sweet, slightly loony Maddy.  Elmira Chancery Madigan.  Maddy to everyone.  He'd take her -- hmm -- roses last time, lilac before that, and bird of paradise before that.  Maybe it was time to try something old fashioned.  He picked up his cell phone and called in an order for daisies to be delivered to EC Madigan at Harlington-Straker Studios.  He ate breakfast, slipped on his black silk Armani suit, checked his hair one last time in the mirror going out of the house, picked up his keys and locked the door behind him.

He stopped in the driveway and frowned at his car.  Long, low, sleek and looking like something out of a 1970's car of the future advertisement, he wondered about the vehicle some times.  He'd researched it after the accident, but couldn't find any references to the model at all.  Well, Alec assured him it was one of a very, very small production and well worth keeping.  And Maddy liked it.  He smiled again at the thought of the warm armful Maddy could be snuggling against him as he drove.

He pulled into traffic and drove serenely to work.

Alec Freeman, a rough looking customer in his impeccably tailored suit, finished reading the short report on the clipboard held by a charmingly cat suited young lady, nodded and initialed the report.  He handed the pen back to the young lady and walked away across the high tech control room with hardly a glance at her admittedly nubile charms.  He walked into the office ten feet away to find Paul Foster waiting for him.

The tall, well muscled younger man looked like he needed sleep.  He did.  He gave Alec a tired smile and a nod as he leaned back in the desk chair and stretched.  "Damn.  I don't know how he did it -- "

"He had us to back him up," Alec answered softly, crossing the room to the bar where he poured himself a generous measure of iced tea.  He glanced at the full bottles of hard liquor sitting there and shook his head.  There wasn't enough to dull the pain that was always with him so there wasn't any point, none at all.  He sucked down half the glass of tea and looked around at Foster.  The last five years had aged the younger man.  He still had the actor quality good looks, but they were more mature than boyish these days.

"Yeah.  I know.  Latest from Jackson." Paul tossed a file across the desk.

Alec fielded it and took a quick look.  A part of his mind noted that the Dr.'s name no longer dripped like acid off Paul's tongue.  Somewhere in the last year Paul had stopped hating the man for past offenses and come to regard him as a tool, a means to an end, and nothing more.  He met Paul's gaze.  "The dreams are getting worse."

"Yeah.  But he still doesn't remember them when he's awake.  -- Jackson said the longer it takes for him to regain his memory, the more likely it is --"

"That he won't," Alec ended flatly.  He slammed the file on the desk top and leaned against the desk.  His eyes searched Paul's for some indication that Paul was happy with this conclusion.  Once again, he didn't find it.  He found resignation, determination and the slightly unhappy look he always found.  "We've lost him." He didn't want to say it, but it was the truth.  Commander Ed Straker had died under the hands of the enemy.  The man who had come back was a superb studio head, but he wasn't SHADO Commander.

"Alec --" Paul objected.  Sure, he'd wanted the "Responsibility Seat", but not this way.  He'd wanted time to grow into it, to be ready for the responsibility.  He'd never wanted it thrust upon him as it had been.  He'd been exhilarated when Straker disappeared.  A few hours of command time while they looked for the man and then he'd turn the power back over to him with his usual petulant act.

But it hadn't happened that way.

Ed Straker had vanished for six months.  He'd driven off the studio lot and vanished.  Six months later, he'd turned up in a small town hospital in New Mexico.  He was emaciated, dehydrated and ill.  He was lucid, knew who he was and had no memories of the missing six months.  He had no memories of SHADO or aliens.  He remembered a car accident ending his military career.  He remembered losing Mary over her inability to believe he was not cavorting with nubile young actresses while she was pregnant.  He remembered losing his son because the flight scheduled to deliver the experimental medication was diverted.  He remembered absolutely everything to do with the studio.  SHADO was gone.

Jackson and his team had put him through every test they could think of to find out what had happened to him and where the rest of his memories were.  They drew a blank.  It was as though someone had gone in and carefully erased every last mention of aliens and the organization he had helped build.  Very, very carefully.

Foster had kept the command seat with Alec and Virginia Lake backing him up.  Jackson had held forth the hope that the memories might just come back on their own if they let Straker do his studio job.  Now, even Jackson was beginning to doubt.  The Commander wasn't coming back.

Alec and Paul summoned Maddy to the office.  She came in looking as much like a plump pixie as she had the first day they met her.  She looked from one to the other.  "New report?" She followed their gazes downward and picked up the file.  She frowned.  "Maybe it's time to push it."

"And lose him completely?" the Australian's harsh tones demanded.

She looked up at him, her gaze understanding.  "No.  I don’t think so.  I think the dreams are getting worse because he's very, very close to breaking through."

"We can't risk it."

"So, if he breaks, we glue him back together.  Gentlemen, he's not porcelain.  He's a man.  Whatever broke him this way can be repaired.  If it means submerging the Commander again, fine.  At least we'll have answers."

Paul regarded the woman with something akin to revulsion in his eyes, but said nothing.

"Look, Commander Foster, I know you don't like me.  You have never liked what I volunteered to do.  But it has to be done.  It was watch dog him or kill him.  Dead is unacceptable.  Even without the Commander part of him, Straker has put this studio on the map, made it profitable and made it work for us.  If we NEVER get the Commander back, Ed Straker serves SHADO now as he always has.  He just doesn't have as much on his mind." She ended with a weak smile.

Alec nodded.  "Then you'd best go keep an eye on him."

"Done.  Gentlemen." She nodded formally and left.

"Bitch."

Alec frowned at Paul.  He still couldn't figure out just what it was about Maddy that rubbed the younger man the wrong way.  He catalogued her looks: She had a luxuriant mane of tawny hair, wide gray eyes under dark brows that ran straight across her face with a nice break in the middle, a slightly turned up nose, very nice, kissable lips and a figure that was a bit full for the cat suits but very, very nice as an armful.  Maybe the problem was that Maddy looked soft and yielding and was about as hard as titanium underneath that look.  And Maddy was devious.  Paul, for all his years at SHADO and dealing with secrecy, was still a very straight forward sort of guy on the emotional level.  Maddy was -- a velvet Straker?  No.  Maddy was as individual as Straker was.  Maybe that was why he liked her.  And Paul didn't.

Maddy walked into her office in the Studios and stopped to stare at what looked like a bushel of dasies sitting on her desk.  Her secretary, a tall, sere creature with harlequin glasses and a long neck, giggled at the sight.

"I believe those were delivered about 10 minutes ago, Ms. Madigan."

"Ah.  Card?" She looked and found one.  Inside was a pale blue heart and nothing else.  She smiled.  If the Commander continued elusive, she might just have to marry the studio head who did such sweet things.  "Schedule for today?"

The secretary reeled it off, hesitating only at the end.  "You penciled in dinner, but not with whom."

"Mmmm.  Give me a minute." She picked up the phone.  "Put me through to Mr. Straker, please."

"Mr. Straker's office."

"Ms. Ealand, this is Madigan.  Might I have a moment of Mr. Straker's time?" She was put through promptly.  "Mr. Straker.  I seem to have penciled in dinner this evening but left off the who.  Any ideas?"

She could almost hear his smile.  "Alec?"

She laughed.

"Paul?" he said seriously.

Snort.

"Ginny?"

Chuckle.  "How about Mr. Edward Straker, President and CEO of Harlington-Straker Studios?" she purred.

"Gold digger."

"I plan on digging, but not for gold," she assured him.

"What time?"

Evening.

Maddy put the finishing touches on the dinner table, lit the candles and sat back to wait.  She was covered from neck to ankles in black velvet.  The sleeves, tight to the wrist, were black silk.  Sheer thigh hi stockings hugged her legs, the lace tops almost brushing her crotch as she moved.  Sometimes being short had it's really odd advantages.  She sat down, crossed her legs, allowing the slit in the skirt to part to advantage, and waited.

It was a long evening.  Edward Straker was a tired but happy man when he got home.  The smell of his lovely Maddy was still clinging to his no longer immaculate suit.  He held the coat and inhaled deeply of her scent before he slipped the jacket onto a hanger in the closet.  He chuckled as he remembered her calling him a neat freak.  She'd just have to learn to live with it.

He went in to wash his face and froze.  There were streaks of green on his face.  Faint, left from the foolishness with the desert Maddy had insisted on feeding him.  His pupils fluctuated, dilating until the blue disappeared, then shrinking to pinpoints.  He shuddered, closed his eyes and washed his face.  When he looked again, he couldn't remember why the color on his face disturbed him.

He tumbled into bed, his eyes closing as his head touched the pillow.  The crisp smell of fresh sheets was soothing.  He stretched like a cat and then curled slightly to settle into sleep.

His eyes slammed open.  Darkness.  Still.  Quiet.  Black.  Blank.  There was someone else there.  A frisson of fear shivered through him.  Weight on the mattress, he could feel it sink slightly.  Someone leaned over him.

"Shh.  Quiet and you may live," an unfamiliar voice breathed in his ear.

He lay there, unmoving.  His mind was in turmoil.  He had to quell a tendency for his hands to twitch themselves into fists.  No.  Just quietly lie there.  Sleep.  Make them think he was asleep.

"So.  How was the girlfriend?" the voice asked.  There was something odd about the voice.  There was no distinctive male or female to it.  It just was.  Icy.  "Good, I'll bet.  Juicy little tart.  Bet she's a lot of fun.  Maybe I'll give her a try, when I'm through here."

He stiffened, angry.  He tried to focus through the fear, through the anger.  Where exactly was his tormenter?  The weight shifted.  Ah.  There.  Without thought, almost as though someone else was borrowing his body, he lashed out -- at empty air.  He slammed on the lights.  Nothing.  No one.  Furious, he prowled his house, checking windows and doors.  His heart stopped in the kitchen.  The back door was open.  Carefully, he shut the door.

He sat down at the kitchen table and shuddered for a moment.  There had been someone there.  Maddy.  He went for the phone in the living room and was just dialing the last number of her phone number when he realized what time it was.  He dropped the receiver in the cradle and shook his head.  It was probably nothing.

Sure it was, the voice in his head taunted.  Sure it was.

He called Maddy.  He got a sleepy voice on the other end.  "Hi.  Wassup?"

"I -- a dream -- I think.  You ok?"

"I'm fine.  Honest.  Go to bed.  I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah.  Thanks."

He went back to bed, leaving the living room light on.  He fell into a troubled sleep.

Maddy rolled over, snuggled against the silk covered pillow and then frowned as her eyes flew open.  Ed had called to make certain she was all right.  Why?  She slipped out of bed and padded silently over to her computer console.  Quickly she checked the security monitors for Straker's home.  She frowned.  That was odd.  For roughly half an hour, Straker's security had been turned off.

It was on now.  But there was a half hour breach.  She dialed Alec's number from her computer.

The man sounded grumbly angry sleepy.  "What?"

"There's been a breach at Straker's."

"What???  When?"

"Half an hour ago."

"Maddy ---"

"He's all right.  He just called me.  The breach was about half an hour.  Someone turned off the security systems.  All of them.  Then they were turned back on.  He couldn't have done it.  We've changed the set up since he came back."

Alec's face was ashen.  He was glad he was alone.  He rubbed a hand over his face, scratching at the day long growth of beard stubble covering his chin.  "I'll have it checked," he said quietly.  "Why did he call?"

"To see if I was all right."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"I'll have it checked.  I can post a guard.  But if there's something going on --"

"I know.  I'll see what I can talk him into.  But you know how he is about anyone staying there."

"Yeah.  I do.  Get some sleep."

"I will.  You get some when I relieve you in the morning.  Bye."

Click.  Silence.  Dial tone.  Alec lay there for a long moment just listening to the normalcy of the dial tone.  Then he set the receiver back in its cradle and lay there for a longer moment planning.  The nightmares were getting worse.  A hand full of people in SHADO knew about them.  And someone had broken security at Straker's.  Alien?  Human?  Protective intervention or danger?  And how to tell them apart?  At this point he wasn't certain there was a way.

He picked up the phone and dialed a number.  Three rings and silence.  He swallowed hard and spoke words he had hoped never to use.  He spoke them into the silence.  He could hear them falling away into the depths.  He cut the connection and put the phone back on the bedside table.  He lay in the darkness and stared up at the invisible ceiling above him.  He felt -- hollow.  The way he always felt.  Dead inside, yet in so much pain.  He blinked.  Tears trailed from the corners of his eyes down to his pillow.  He took a shuddering breath and worked on centering down.  He couldn't take a chance on breaking now, not now.

At the other end of the line, a tall red haired woman gently awoke her golden mocha skinned companion.  "We're needed."

Liquid dark eyes met unbelievably blue in inquiry.  "Who?"

"Alec."

A smile curved deep toned, luscious lips.  "Sweet Alec."

"Straker."

The smile turned down.  "Ah.  Pity.  Breach?"

"Yes.  Someone turned off security and turned it back on."

"Not his fair haired boy, I take it."

Red ran long pale fingers through the other woman's thick dark hair.  She could still catch the faint touch of Jamaica in the other woman's speech.  "No.  He's still -- only a part of himself.  Someone else."

Sigh.  "Well, then we had best be moving, wench." The lilt came through as the dark woman grinned at her companion.  Her look went suddenly serious.  "It's soon isn't it?"

The other looked innocent, then thoughtful and nodded.  "I think so.  Much longer and I don't think Straker will ever be whole again.  But from what we've seen lately, I think their wait will soon be over."

"But will he be whole?  Or broken?"

"Does it matter?"

Exasperated sound.  "Of course, it does.  He'll not heal if Straker has to be left as he is."

For just a moment, the blue eyes looked as though they didn't understand the problem with that.  Then she smiled.  "Well, if he's not whole, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" She turned and walked out of the room leaving her companion to shake her head and wonder if she would ever know all the ins and outs of the red head's mind.

Continued

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