Allllrighty boys and girls, it's contest time! I've been wanting to do one of these for a while, so here we go. The contest is basically to make a new logo for EoB. It can have pictures of the characters in it (from the characters page) or it can just be text. Feel free to draw your own if you don't like the ones on the characters page. Also, it doesn't have to be in color. No set size is made.
To put it simply: Make a new logo for EoB.
Include either "EoB" or "The Epitome of Boredom" OR both.
Submissions should either be sent to me in JPEG or GIF form at Rhettmagic@yahoo.com or posted on the internet and a link e-mailed to me. FLASH animation will also be excepted (and enjoyed!).
If this contest turns out to be a total failure and less than twenty people join, there will be no winner declared. So be sure to get your friends to all join in on the fun.
And now, for the prize. First prize receives 10 EOBx stickers as well as a free copy of EoB from it's first print (which hasn't been released yet). Second prize receives a free copy of EoB #1.
All submitted works will be posted on the website for everyone to see and admire ... no matter how shitty your sumbittion may be.
So there you have it kiddies, have fun with it, and if you have any questions, either e-mail them to me or post them on the message board.
Alright fuckos, after a short experience of depression that kept me from doing any real EoB work, I'm back! Here's what's coming at you...
First up: A new comic page to be up soon. Written by "The Gus" and illustrated by me, the illustrious Rhett. The Gus, in my sick mind, is one creative guy, and you should check out his website right now: http://www.spies.com/~gus/trenchcoat/.
Also, EOBx stickers are to come out within the next month and a half! They will be 2 bucks each, and you can see what they will look like right here: http://webspace.webring.com/people/ir/rhettmagic/eobx.jpg
What else? Well, more grapes to come ... eventually. Right now, I've gotta finish the page I'm working on. So just hold your horses and if you really want, send me hate mail, or suggestions. I always enjoy a good racist joke.
Oh, and be sure to check out "delta comix" if you haven't yet. Four pages of EoB will be in there, so go buy it, you cheap fucks! You can find the link under the 'links' section.
Well, that's it. I'm always looking for more people to exchange links with, so if you want to, e-mail me! Have fun kiddos, and remember: Twine is not a rubber, muvafucka!
FUCK. That is the only thing I have on my mind. My girlfriend and I just broke up ... which sucks. But hey, at least one good thing comes of this! Expect EoB to be MUCH MORE HARSH and CRUEL as I vent my feelings of "fuck".
Anyway ... Grapes is back to it's weekly running, and also ... Cat God! Life sucks, get a helmet.
Well kiddies, I may not have put up a Grapes strip this week but that's only because I had another project covering up my drawing table ... it's called "Potty Humor" and you can find it on the website under that name.
Anyway, let me know what you think of potty humor. Also, I have put up this week's strip of Grapes up a day early, so TADA!
Also, keep telling your friends about EoB, especially your friends who don't read comics. Like Don suggested, I'd like to make a yahoo club, but I want a good following before I do that shit.
And another announcement: EoB will be in Delta Comix #3 ... so go to www.deltacomix.com right now and reserve your copy.
Well folks, it's official, I'm going to hell. In case you haven't seen it, and if you're up to it, stop on by the weekly strip "Grapes" for my most heartless stuff yet.
That's right, WEEKLY STRIP. Which means you better get back here EVERY WEEK ... WITH FRIENDS ... and PETS or I'll be tanning your hides!
Until then, peace, love and chicken grease!
And oh yeah ... sorry.
That's right, everyone, there's now an e-group devoted to EoB. What does this mean exactly? It basically means that you e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org with "E-Group" as the subject, and within a day or so, you'll be part of the group. This will allow you to take 'special' polls, but most importantly, you'll get notified by E-mail on any updates having to do with EoB. So if you want in, just send that e-mail, bitches!
Obviously, there's a new banner, new fanmail, and some new, fake hatemail. The new banner is on the links page, and the fanmail and hatemail are surprisingly on the 'fanmail' and 'hatemail' links to the left.
So basically, if you want to swap links, I'll do it. Don't e-mail me a salesman type thing ... just send me the addy along with a banner if you have one, and I'll hook you up.
And again, if you wanna send either fan or hatemail, send it to email@example.com.
Later, you pussies
Well kiddies, I finally did it ... I bought myself a domain name. So from now on, when you tell all your buddies about this website you don't have to spell out all that geocities.com/rhett... bullshit bullshit bullshit. All you have to do is say, "go to www.eobsucks.com", as that's the new addy. Again, that's www.eobsucks.com ... which just forwards you to this website, but it makes it allot easier on people. Spread the word, people! Mooo!
Three, count em, three new pages are up! The final page to the swedish pornchick is up, as well as a new short called "Senseless Violence". Click on the links to the left to get to these shiznatz. Trust me, they're worth it, especially the senseless violence one ... I think it's REALLY fuckin' funny. Also, just to remind you all that I got some hate mail (which you can also get to from the link on the left), and that I might start up a fanmail section (as I've somehow started getting fanmail as well). So basically, if you've got something to say about EoB, good or bad, now's the time to send it in. Off to draw more funny books, lata.
Well, I've finally gotten a comment on EoB ... and to no surprise, it's hate mail. Click on the link to the left to check it out, I think it's pretty damn funny.
Obviously ... there's some new shit. Incase you're an idiot and haven't noticed, or have never been here before, the website's really changed. But that doesn't really matter, but what does is that there's a LOT of NEW SHIT! Woo. I doubt you're very excited, but if you wanna check it out, just click on the links to the left. "Page 3", "Fuck you" and my personal favorite, "People Suck" are all now up for the pickin'. Be sure to check them out and lemme know what you think.
Also, very shortly my portfolio will be updated. (Right now it just has a message). But, I'm sorry to say it won't have very much more than that, as I consider this website itself to be something of a portfolio, as anyone interested in my work can easily find it here. But anyway, it will have an explanation as to how I put my pages on-line and why they look a little weird. If you care, you can check it out, if you don't, then you can't. You're not allowed. I'm talking nonsense again ... enjoy the new pages, and as my new toy Spooky would say ... squeek.
Well shit, it's been a while hasn't it? But fear not, EoB's back and although it might not be back with a vengeance ... it's back. Obviously the site's been spiced up a bit (got off my lazy ass and learned some new HTML) and have started adding new pages that you can ONLY see here. Of course, you can only see them here because I haven't been published yet ... but oh well.
Anyway, enough of my babbling. What exactly is new? First off, if you haven't been to the message board yet, GO NOW. There's some weird-ass shit being talked about in there. As far as EoB itself goes, I will have new pages up just about every two to three days. There's a new one up already under 'Tha Comic' which, although it doesn't make any sense now, will after the second page's been put up. So have some patience and you'll get your daily dose of EoB soon enough.
More on the actual comic itself, I'm taking a slightly more different edge to the comic than before. Although it will still mainly focus on Danny, Kevin, and Red as they deal with boredom on their small suburb, it'll also captivate a few side stories. These will include "Things I Think/Wonder About" (which I already have a taste of on this website, also under 'tha comic'), "Suckman" (following the adventures of america's favorite superhero that looks like a muppet), "Roland The Anti-Happy Waiter" (where all my frustrations from being a waiter are released), "Political Correctness ... Damnit" (my personal attack at being PC), and "Fuck YOU!" (my personal attack on all the things/people that piss me off). So, in a nutshell, there's a wider variety of shit goin' on now. Hope ya like it.
So yeah, check back often. And I mean often, like every day, to see all the new shit that's gonna be on here. I'm really trying to make it in this damn business now. Later.
Hey, sorry it's been so long since I last messed around with this page, but I've been hellabusy. I just thought it was neccessary to announce that the 37th post on the Characters Vote has been made! Um, this probably isn't very important to anyone out there ... but it should be. Anyway, I just thought that was something that needed to be adressed, and I'll try and put some new shit on this page soon. Lata.
Big fuckin' news here. I've updated the characters pages. They now have more shit, more pics, and more talking. Check out Red's description, Danny's pathetic hobbies and now, a new feature to this site, KEVIN'S RAMBLE, brought to us thanks of the one and only, Kevin himself. And of course, you can still vote for your favorite character and look at the cool interview, all at the characters page. You go now.
Alright, you've been around the page, seen the characters, now you can actually talk to them. Just go to the EoB Message board, ask a question or comment, and the people behind the characters will eventually see it and respond. See you there.
This message is to all you comic creators who might be comin' by this page. Basically, I'm looking to work with a couple other people to put together one comic with a bunch of different stories by different people in it. This way we could all get some exposure and have something under our belt when approaching a major publisher. Anyway, if you're up to it, E-Mail me and we'll talk. Take it easy until then.
Hey, I just wanted everyone to know that this page IS slowly being updated. I'm adding more onto the characters section, working on more pages, and a bunch of other cool shit. Until it's all up, check out this site. There's a WHOLE LOT of cool shit that you can be part of. Anyway, e-mail me if you have any questions about EoB or if you just got somethin' to say ... biznitch.
Hey all you fucknuts, go vote for your favorite EoB Character. It's on the Characters page. Go now, vote, biznitch.
Hey, just to let anyone who has a webpage know, I now have a banner that you can add to your site as a nice looking link to this site. Go HERE to see and snatch it.
Hey, just wanted to let everyone know that I have a new message board up that kicks the old one's ass! Go HERE to check it out. It's really cool.
Oh yeah, one last thing ... poop.
Batman is a criminal, that's all I have to say (click HERE for more info) ... also, don't forget to check out all the new shit on my page that you can find info on below.
Yep, there's now a message board that you can access through the main page or by clicking HERE Yeah, so basically fuck around with it guys and do whatever you want... and if you're just visiting, drop by and see what we're all talking about.
I have to get a fuckin' callendar. I'm serious, this 'I don't know what day it is bullshit' has gone too far. So, if you're reading this and you have an extra callendar (preferably for this year), e-mail me.
ANYWAY, ONTO SOME ACTUAL NEWS!!!!
Yep, you heard me right. I actually have some news for once. The first piece of news is that I've put up a poll so that you can vote for your favorite character in the characters section. Give it a lookie. Also, I'm not an affiliate of Epinions. Basically you get paid to write about products and shit, it's cool. So if you're interested, click here sign up, and make some cash. Also, I'm re-doing ALL of my pages. I just hated my old fuckin' style. So you can see my progess on the Sample Pages page. I would put a link, but typing in those links is a pain in the ass, and I'm really too lazy to do that.
Oh yeah, and for those of you who were like, "Where the fuck did all the rants of the day go?!?!" Um, well, My B. My cable modem was fucked up, so I couldn't really write any. Oh well, I'll let you get back to your boring lives. Adios.
I've been thinking of changing the title of this to 'Rant of the whenever' lately, as I obviously haven't been doing it everyday. Sorry, but I've been busy. Um, well I was gonna complain about these insane gas prices ... but I just drank some Yoo-hoo, and well, I'm feeling a little jolly. So instead, I think I'd like to change this to a 'praise of the day'.
Praise topic of the day is, THERE ARE FINALLY SOME GOOD MOVIES OUT! Well, actually, there aren't many ... um, actually, I can't think of any other than the one I saw last night that was only playing because it got re-released. But nevertheless, it was an amazing movie that really caught me.
The movie in question was American Beauty (Kevin Spacey and a bunch of other people who you've seen before but can't remember their names). Goddamn, what a good movie. I swear, it must be the best movie I've seen since Dogma (Which is huge, cause I'm a bigass Kevin Smith fan). Anyway, I don't want to talk too much about it, as I feel it's best that you go into it with relatively no clue as to what'll happen, but it's fuckin' great! It's funny, it's strange ... and most important of all, it makes you think.
I swear, for the past couple of months I've been going to the movies, and sure, some of them were really good, but about two hours after they were over I could give two shits about it. They simply didn't affect me anymore.
But American Beauty really makes you remember it. Even though you haven't seen it for hours, you're still thinking about it a long time after viewing it. So without a doubt, American Beauty is my pick for the Oscars or whatever award it's up for. And YOU should definately go see it. Seriously.
I'd like to bring something to attention that I feel deserves it. And that 'something' is ... HOW FUCKING STUPID OUR SCHOOLS HAVE BECOME!
Now what brought about this sudden sight you might ask? Well, today my school had it's third bombthreat of the year (I think, it may only have been the second and I'm remembering the one from last year). But anyway, we had our little bomb threat and as usual, they first evacuated the building. Alright, good job school staff, get us out so that incase the school does blow up, we aren't in it. That, I'll give them, was good. But it was what they did AFTER that that brought about my knowledge of their TRUE stupidity.
After we were all evacuated from the building, the staff took all the students and crammed them into our football field. Do you see the genius in this? I sure as fuck don't. If this potential bomber had any brains he would've placed a good sized bomb in the bleachers of the field and gotten every single person with one bigass explosion. Arg, fuckin' stupid bastards ... anyway, I'm tired again ... I should stop writing these so late at night, hopefully they'll be good again shortly. Adios.
Ah, my daily rant, the only relief of frustration in my life. Today's topic, the rising gas prices.
Recently I went up to the closest gas station and filled up my big old clunker of a station wagon. Now usually when it's bone dry the car takes about 20 bucks to fill up. But this last time it was only half empty but still cost me 20 fuckin' bucks. So needless to say, this sparked a little ol' fire in me. I started cussing like a Rhett (Not a sailor, I cuss more than sailors)and went storming into the gas station so that I could give the owner some lip for making his fuckin' prices so damn high.
So I get in there, slam my money down on the counter and the guy behind the counter (an old fella around 70 or so) said in a funny way, "Prices are a bitch, huh?" Well, first I laughed (old people cussing is automatically funny) and then I got into this huge conversation with him and two of his workers there about all the shit that's going on with the gas companies.
Here's how he put it, and the only reason I believe him is because he cussed, and I feel that any old guy who cusses is trustworthy ... so anyway, he basically said that the companies themselves are fucking the stations over. They're selling the stations less gas, forcing the stations to sell less gas for slightly more money, causing the stations to lose money. I calmed down for a moment at this point, then lit back up with hatred for these goddamn big corporate companies.
Who are these motherfuckers to keep me from getting gas for a fair price? Fuckin' asshole companies. Well, I'm tired and I'm going to go to sleep. Just remember, the gas prices aren't the fault of the stations, but the companies. Goodnight all, adios.
Again, I'm not sure if that's the right date today or not, but you know what? I don't really give a shit. Anyway, yet another little thing has pissed me off lately. Today, I will discuss a topic that's been biting at my patience since the day I got into high school ... Character Counts.
If you don't know what 'character counts' is, then you're probably one of those people lucky enough not to have it in your school yet. Basically, 'character counts' is this school program where the school continually shoves these 'seven pillars of character' in your face. They're something like respect, responsibility and five more that I really could give two shits about.
So when you get down to it, 'character counts' is the new standard as to what a student should act like. Now, you may not think of this as a really bad thing, as all the things they support are, after all, good things. But what you're overlooking is the fact that they're making a fucking standard as to how people should act. Personally, I always saw high school as a place to find yourself, and to develop your own way of acting ... not a place for you to mindlessly obey other people just because they've been stuck in a school more years than you have. This is my very reason for hating 'character counts', they're turning the students of today into the robots of tomorrow.
Mark this down, as you might never hear me say something like this again ... I actually have something positive to say for once. That's right, I'm actually happy about something.
So why am I so happy you ask? Well, I didn't go to school today because of this crap brewing in my throat, (which sucked) but it was worth it as I got a damn good night's sleep. So yeah, I'm fully rested and not one bit cranky. And in this bright mood of mine, I decided to write about a little fast-food type o' place that just moved in around here called 'Checkers'.
What can I possibly say about this restaurant other than the fact that it kicks major ass? They have great fuckin' food, a good location (lots of parking, a huge plus for me) and it's cheap as shit! And they're not a bunch of food conserving bastards either. For example, their fish sandwhich is about twice as big as McDonald's (another favorite fast food joint of mine, but not as much of a fave) and when you order a medium sized drink they give you this bathtub of coke. So that's one great thing, more food for less money.
But the greatest thing about Checkers is that they don't give you that bullshit that so many other fast food places do now. Recently at McDonald's I noticed that their smallest size was labeled as 'medium', their medium size as 'large' and their largest size as 'extra large.' Now excuse me ... but last I checked, the smallest size wasn't the middle size ... it was the fuckin' small size! And the large wasn't the medium size, it was the large size! How fuckin' hard is it to understand this principle? Anyway, at Checkers they don't do this bullshit. Their smallest drink (which isn't very small) is called a 'small' their medium size is called 'medium' and their largest size ... a 'large'. Quite the concept huh?
Alright, that's enough positive talk for one day. My head's starting to hurt and I'm getting an overpowering desire to watch Little Women. So go to Checkers if there is one near you, you won't be dissapointed. Adios.
In case you're wondering what's the deal with that question mark up there, it's because I don't know if that's exactly the date today or not. I'm not high or anything ... it's just that I rarely know what DAY it is, and barely ever do I know the damn date. So yeah, if you're ever confused about the date at the top of one of these things, (say the date on one is March 12th and it's actually the 10th) it's because I can't remember the day, not because I'm a fuckin' moron.
Now that I think about it ... if I can't even remember what day it is, I guess I am kind of a moron. Whatever, fuck it, on to today's topic, 'fuckin' idiots who think they know what they're talking about but don't.'
Again, I might classify under this group, so you really don't have to listen to what I have to say, but if you're really interested, read on and I think you'll agree. This topic came to my head today while I was watching Hanson's 'making of the video'. Alright, first I should be shot for watching the damn thing in the first place ... but I should have my goddamn head wacked off for actually listen to what the three zit-popping pansies had to say.
Anyhow, before my head ached so much from their dumbass babble I heard them explaining what the song was about. They said something like, "This song illustrates all the struggles and harships in life ... blah blah blah" This line strait up pissed me off. Where the hell do these kids get off talking about hardships? Christ, they're teen idols with more money than I'll ever even get to see! What possible struggles have they gone through?
Alright, now I can almost deal with them talking about struggle ... but then (and if I didn't deserve to be burned at the steak earlier, I sure do now) I stumbled upon 'Fanatic'. Now if you don't know what Fanatic is, it's basically where this one obsessed fan gets to meet their celebrity and apparently they can die happy. Well, the one that I happened to catch was the Fanatic of N Sync. At somepart in the meeting she mentioned how she was doing some singing and then I witnessed the dumbest event in history, N Sync attempted to give her advice about getting into the music industry.
The advice was pretty simple and was something like, "Try and get as many gigs as possible" (No shit, sherlock) and "Keep it up, don't let anyone stop you." Again ... duh. The advice should have been three simple plans. 1, find some guy with a lot of money to back you up. 2, make MTV talk about you like you're gods so that the cutsie girl audience will worship you. And 3, put a band together at some point with some catchy lyrics ... and if you can't do that ... just get up on stage, look cute, and dance to some olg go-go music. It works, really.
Looking over those last couple of paragraphs I'm really starting to think that I'm a severe asshole. Maybe I'm going a little too far with this shit, ya know? Ahh fuck it, no I'm not. These bastard boy-bands need to be made fun of, they need to be shown how fuckin' fake and 'un-deserving' of their career they are. Thank god for 2Gether ... I loved that movie, and I think (or hope rather) that they'll be the end of these stupid ass boybands. Oh god do I ever hope. Anyway, that's enough for now ... I'll rant s'more some other time.
Still no news, but I have found a couple things that I really have to bitch about or I'm gonna go postal. I think I'll do this every now and then, as there are a lot of things that I think NEED to be bitched about that simply aren't bitched enough.
The first rant topic is all these bullshit products coming out right now. When the fuck was it that Doritos decided that normal 'cheese' Doritos weren't good enough? I mean, seriously, what the fuck was so wrong with that? I fuckin' love cheese Doritos, they're great, you can't really improve on them! But deary no, they couldn't stop there. They had to go on and make 'cool ranch' Doritos.
Now I really had no problem with the cool ranch, (I personally think they taste like the lint out of a monkey's ass, but that's just my opinion)but when they came out with the 'Baja' Doritos and recently the 'sour cream' Doritos, I couldn't take it anymore. Of course, like every other curious dipshit out there, I went out and bought a couple bags in order to try these new and exciting flavors. Well, here's what I've discovered ... baja=short in spanish, right? Aside from short in spanish it must mean, 'good for about three bites then tastes like dung' in another. As for the 'sour cream' Doritos, I think I've discovered their secret recipy. You ready? Alright ... you take the new bright green sour cream Doritos bag and ... you fill it with fuckin' cool ranch Doritos! That's exactly what they taste like! What a damn rippoff. Yeah, so my advice to the Doritos company (I'm too lazy to go look up the company's name) is to go back to the basic 'cheese' Doritos. They tasted great and didn't have any of these stupidass names. Anyway, that's enough for now ... I'll rant s'more some other time.
March 2, 2000
Unfortunately I don't have much news to spread, as I'm still looking for a company to publish my comic book. (Which reminds me, any companies that are interested, contact me or check out my online portfolio). But until then, I'm going to continue adding little tidbits that you'll hopefully find amusing so check back every now and then to see the new additions (they'll be happening pretty rapidly for about a month, as I'm adding onto this site every day).
Yeah, so until I actually have any news, I'll just tell a little about the comic itself. Today ... where The Epitome of Boredom came from ...
The Epitome of Boredom came from my friend's and my own boredom in our little suburb. Basically, we all were big View Askew fans and decided that we'd try and make a movie like theirs. No slapstick humor or cheesy horror flick, but a movie about a bunch of kids talking about random shit. The idea was tossed around for a while, and eventually I started writing the script. The first part that I wrote was an argument between Danny, Justin (now Kevin) and Red over what classified as breakfast, brunch and lunch. The scene was possibly three pages long at the most but we just couldn't get through it. We sadly realized that we couldn't act worth a shit ... and after replacing Justin with another actor, we realized that we still couldn't act worth a shit.
Even though we couldn't act, we tried to do the movie anyway. We did a couple great scenes (Danny singing to the Mr. Roboto song and Pat's car hitting a trash can about eight feet for example) but again realized that we weren't actors. We were just stupid kids trying to make a movie with an old 8mm camera. Eventually we were doing the movie every Wednesday instead of on the weekends, then every other Wednesday ... and then not at all. Sadly enough, The Epitome of Boredom 'the Movie' died off and we gave up with making it.
So even though we wouldn't be doing the movie anymore, I decided to write another script about the same characters. This time I sat down, I planned it out, and I didn't stop writing for about four hours. The script was finished and waited for the next time that we'd attempt to make the movie.
Then I got into my comic book phase (thanks Oni-Press for turning me into a comic geek) and said, "What the hell? I'll turn my script into a comic book." And I did exactly that. So there's the history for ya, a failed movie turned into comic book. But someday we'll make the movie again (possibly this summer when we have even MORE spare time ... good god). But until then, I'll keep up this website and I'll keep posting boring rants like this one. Adios.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention where the name, "The Epitome of Boredom" came from. The real Danny builds shit like mad in his spare time. He makes all this cool shit out of the most random objects. The best example is when he made this small house out of the tin of some coke cans. Anyway, he was showing us all the coke can house and one of our friends pointed to it and said, "That thing's the epitome of boredom!" Me and Danny looked at each other and the name stuck. The Epitome of Boredom was born.
An interview with the characters (This is cool)
Some pages from The Epitome of Boredom
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