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Don't ask for an explanation ... he's just Kevin.
 Hi
again everybody! It's Kevin again with a new how to!
Today's how to is how to pick up
chicks. This is a field that I know much about.
First, go up to a girl.
Second, make sure she doesn't have an Adam's
apple. Then you're ready to hit on her.
Give her a line like "do you want
to get a pizza and fuck?", or my favorite, "you and me go together
like hammers and press on fingernails."
If she doesn't punch you (which I get a
lot) you're totally in. Then, it's time to shave. If she punches you, run away
crying. But if she doesn't, ask her out for some pineapple.
Chicks dig pineapple almost as much as
hotdogs.
One time I got 12 hotdogs with mustard
and ate them. I think I should have gotten sauerkraut too, but it's too late for
that. They were so good. I wish I was eating them right now.
My shirt is itchy. Chicks dig itchy
shirts too. I don't. 
A lot of people like me are scared of
girls. But not me. I like to hug them. So if you follow my 5 easy steps to
picking up chicks, you'll get some.
Rock on Maryland.
Good night Toronto!
-Kevin
Old "How To's":
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