Poetry for Stephen

13Nov01-28Nov01

Today is not easy
28Nov01

Hear your name
27Nov01

An Enigma
26Nov01

Hearts Walking
26Nov01

Long for you
26Nov01

You're here
25Nov01

Each night
24Nov01

Remembering Stephen
23Nov01

Mornings
20Nov01

Two hearts
19Nov01

Gazing on your face
19Nov01

Without you
19Nov01

Taking you with me
17Nov01

I wish that....
14Nov01

A smile died
13Nov01

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Today is not easy

Today is not easy
I'm missing you so
I don't think it was
Quite your time to go

But you changed the timing
You couldn't hold on
And now I must cope with
The fact that you're gone

When you were beside me
I know I could stand
Against any foe
If you just held my hand

The battle I'm fighting
Is down deep inside
With loniliness aching
There's nowhere to hide

Our special moments
Run round in my head
And I ache so for you
Because you are dead

I'm wishing that some how
I could change the past
And some how convince you
Our love will last

For even though Stephen
Your body is gone
The love that we shared
Will forever go on

Margot Hill
28Nov01

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Hear your name

Sometimes I want to hear your name
Although I know it's not the same
I want to share those memories too
And talk of what we used to do.

But many people can not see
The hurt that it inflicts on me
When they pass you memories by
And it makes me want to cry

Some do it out of kindness, yes
And sime believe it's for the best
But trying to erase those years
Only brings about more tears

I don't deny the passing of
A man that I most dearly love
So please do not deny his days
He was with me so many ways

So many memories I'd like to share
When I find some one to care
Who listens, ask and speak of you
Just they always used to do

Sometimes the only place I find
Where the people are so kind
Is with a new circle of friends
Who help each other's hearts to mend

We speak of those who are now gone
But whose memories live on
We cry and hugs and walk a while
And we even find a smile

Margot Hill
27Nov01

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An Enigma

I am an enigmatic child
sometimes gentle, sometimes wild
Sometimes so young, sometimes so old
I never do what I am told

My heart, it had been sorely pressed
And often it was put to test
But it rejoiced when I found you
Though it knew not what I'd go through

I met you and I knew right then
That I could learn to trust again
To believe in one who dared
And to hold someone who cared

You fought the feelings I brought out
And often tried to make me doubt
But I knew that our bond was strong
And it would last my whole life long

A butterfly that flies so free
That is what you saw in me
I could not make you understand
I only fly held in your hand

So you chose to leave this earth
I wish you could have seen your worth
And held moe tightly to our love
So you would not have gone above

With each passing of a day
I wish that you had found a way
But I know that the pain inside
Left you no where you could hide

And until my life is past
And I am with you at last
I walk a road that is called grief
Sometimes I walk in disbelief

For I feel your soul so near
And your presence strong and clear
They are what is left of you
Since your time on earth is through

Still my love I hold you tight
As you watch over me at night
And I hold your hand in mine
Then I know that I'll be fine

Margot Hill
26Nov01

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Hearts Walking

Two hearts are walking side by side
With ease we match each other's stride

Though you were weary from the fight
You tried to hold on with your might

But one day you just had to rest
For you had given all your best

I wish I could have eased your pain
And help you find the hope again

I know some days you'd almost soar
That's what love and hope are for

But soon the dark threads of despair
Made you forget I'm always there

My heart is still beside you now
Though I can not explain just how

Together we will walk my love
Untl I join you up above

Margot Hill
26Nov01

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Long for you

So many times I've long for you
So many times I've cried
The tears they just keep flowing
From way down deep inside

They flow because you hurt so much
You chose to seek an end
And now I find that I hurt too
Without a special friend

I want to hold you close to me
And ease your troubled heart
Now I am finding it so hard
To just not fall apart

And when I fall into despair
A dark and gloomy hole
I focus on the man who holds
Half of my heart and soul

For half of me I shared with you
And half you shared with me
So even though you've left this earth
With me you'll always be

Margot Hill
26Nov01

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You're here

I know that you watch over me
And with me you will always be
For when I lay down on my bed
I feel your kiss on my forehead

Your presence it remains so near
Watching all that you hold dear
Surrounding us with all your love
You help God guide us from above

You couldn't get release from pain
Sometimes inside an awful strain
And now your soul it flies so free
Like a gull out on the sea

Yet you still can touch my hand
Hold me when it's hard to stand
Comfort me in your embrace
Rain your kisses on my face

Margot Hill
25Nov01

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Each night

Each night when I lay down to sleep
And pray the lord my soul to keep
I find your presence strong and clear
My guardian angel watching near

My heart and soul will call your name
And yours will answer just the same
Though time and distance are so vast
We are together till the last

I reach for you and sofly sigh
And often I begin to cry
For you're not there, you've gone above
Though I'm surrounded with our love

Your pain, I know, it was too great
You could not even hesitate
And reach out to someone who cared
Knowing just how much we shared

So each night when I lay down
And there is no one around
I hold your presence close to me
Together we will always be

Margot Hill
24Nov01

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Remembering Stephen

Stephen, I'm crying, I miss you
I can't ease the pain in my heart
I still have trouble believing
That we will be always apart

I told you so often I love you
I heard it from you more and more
It's hard to believe with the love we had
That this is what life has in store

So today and each time I remember
The love and the sweetness we shared
Each moment when your memories strike me
And reminded me just how much you cared

I'll cry and I'll miss your laughter
I'll long for youur voice and your smile
I'll hold on to your spirit and presence
And keep your soul with me a while

The while I know it will last love
To the end of my time here on earth
For I learned quite early and never forgot
Exactly how much you are worth

Margot Hill
23Nov01

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Mornings

As I awoke this morning
I thought of you with love
But struggled with reality
For you're now up above

Each morning as I waken
And nights when I meet sleep
I find my thought are on you
Your presence will I keep

I can not stop the feelings
That live inside my heart
They will not ever lessen
Although we're far apart

So as I face each morning
I'll wipe the tears away
Knowing that I have to be
Without you one more day

Margot Hill
20Nov01

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Two hearts

Two hearts that walk together
I love you like no other
We faced the future hand in hand
Our souls together they will stand

But now I face the world alone
Bereft and grieving now you're gone
I can not hold you close to me
My weeping eyes can barely see

I know you spirit will remain
And if you could you'd ease my pain
You couldn't know the price I'd pay
Ever since you went away

A heart and soul that ache like mine
It can not be cured with time
Time only gives me pause to breathe
It will not help this pain to ease

I know the man who I still love
Is looking on from up above
He'll do his best to ease my sorrow
So I can make it through tomorrow.

Margot Hill
19Nov01

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Gazing on your face

I'm thinking of you so much today
Missing you so since you went away
I can't escape the hurt inside
The pain find me, no where to hide

The thoughts of you, they are so clear
Sometimes it feels you're standing near
And if I reach out through the space
I can touch again your face

I gaze upon that face so dear
And it's as if you are right here
I feel the love come shining through
The heart we shared between us two

I wish that I could hold you tight
As you watch over me each night
And though you're with me every day
I wish you'd found another way

One in which you could remain
With me upon this earthly plane
And hold tight to the ones you love
Instead of being gone above

Margot Hill
19Nov01

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Without you

Now that I am without you
It's interesting to find
As I walk through everyday
You're always on my mind

In everything I do now
A piece of you lives on
I stop to consider just how you'd feel
Even though I know that you're gone

So when I'm working on the quilt
Or buying a new chair
So many thoughts of you surround
It's truly like you're there

Please stay with me and guide me
Forever with our love
I know you're watching over me
Though you have gone above

Margot Hill
19Nov01

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Taking you with me

Stephen, I'm taking you with me
As I walk thru each day on this earth
For even though you felt you had to leave
I cherish you and your true worth

A man who discovered quite early
How special that some souls can be
A man who was truly blessed with the gift
To open his eyes wide and see

Who delighted in time spent with children
And watching their true, honest fun
To listen so much to all that he touched
Each felt like a special someone

You struggled with your inner demons
And fought with your own inner fear
But whenever a friend needed some help
You always were standing quite near

You found friends in all kinds of places
All ages, where ever you'd go
And you touch them all so deep in their hearts
I'm hoping that now you will know

That all who were blessed with your friendship
Will carry a piece of you on
For your love has a place in our souls
A your memories live though you're gone

Margot Hill
17Nov01

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I wish that...

I wish that I could kiss your face
Or hold your hand once more
You really are the only man
I ever will adore

To listen to your laughter
To see your smile so bright
You brought such fun to everyone
And made the darkness light

I wish that you had felt the joy
Your presence daily brought
The joy I saw you passing out
I wish that you had caught

You struggled with your present pain
And with your growing fear
So much it seems you couldn't tell
That I was standing near

I wish that I could hold
And chase those fears away
And then together we would face
the dawning of each day

Margot Hill
14Nov01

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A smile died

I don't think words can ever say
How often that you made my day
A word or phrase to bring a smile
Some joy to last a little while

A joke or just a game of tag
When the day began to lag
Would bring about the honest laughter
That it seems like you were after

Many times my eyes were lit
And you were the cause of it
And I was not the only one
Whose day you brightened with the sun

There were many who have found
The days were bright with you around
All of us can feel the lack
And wish that we could have you back

Margot Hill
13Nov01

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