Being Lesbian and a Survivor

If you are a lesbian, what you are trying to heal from is the destructive effects of having been sexually abused, not the fact that you are a lesbian... No one becomes a lesbian soley because she was abused by a man...

Being a lesbian is a perfectly healthy was to be, not another effect of the abuse you need to overcome...

IF YOU'RE NOT SURE

If you're not sure about your sexual preference, give yourself some time for things to settle. It's okay to not know or be in transition. If you haven't been in touch with yourself sexually--because you've been splitting, pretending or not very concious--it may take some time to find out what your true responses are. Try to tolerate the ambiguity of not having a set sexual orientation for awhile.

If you think you might be a lesbian but the idea scares you or disturbs you, what you're feeling is natural. It's common to have doubts and questions in the coming-out process..

The most important thing is to take your time. Don't pressure yourself. It's better not to label yourself prematurly. And if you don't want to, you don't have to label yourself at all.

There is more to being a lesbian than sex. There's music, art, politics. There's a culture, a supportive community. There's an emotional, philosophical, and spiritual connection to women...

Even if you don't come out publicly, there are things you can do to counteract your isolation, no matter where you are. Subscribe to lesbian, journals, and magazines. Get on mailing lists for women's music festivals and confrences.

Reach out. You're not alone. For many women, their lesbian identity is a strong, positive anchor in their life.

The above passages were quoted from the book..."The Courage to Heal"© to Ellen Bass and Laurie Davis.

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