Ladieeees and gentlemen . . .
Compared to this, both World Wars and the War on
Terrorism look like minor misunderstandings.

We proudly present the . . .
BATTLE of the TEEN TITANS in TIGHT PANTS! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BATTLE of the TEEN TITANS in TIGHT PANTS! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BATTLE of the TEEN TITANS in TIGHT PANTS! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BATTLE of the TEEN TITANS in TIGHT PANTS!
Get ready for the . . .

Who will take home the Pop Star of the Apocalypse Belt?
[and who will go home in a bodybag?]
:: Introducing the deathmatch contenders ::
Christina "The Sadistic Saviour" Aguilera

Height 5'2" Weight 102 lbs.

Learned her DIRRTY street fighting skills for defense when walking home from Catholic school in the mean streets of New York City. Chris has been known to use stainless steel rosary beads to garrot her foes.

Favorite Move: The overhead Genie in a Bottle smash.

Quote: Come on over... Come on over, Baby. And I'll whoop yer ass!

Christina "The Sadistic Saviour" Aguilera
Britney "The Anti-Christina" Spears
Britney "The Anti-Christina" Spears

Height : 5'4" Weight : 135 lbs

Sick of seeing gators drag off her kin-folk for swamp snacks, Brit vowed revenge and trained hard to become Mississipi's most feared gator 'rastler. She now commands an unholy army of the toothy beasties.

Favorite Move: The "Oops, I did it again" triple bitch slap

Quote: You'll be a Slaaaaave for me!

The back story: Britney & Christina met and soon became best friends after becoming junior members of Disney's - The Mickey Mouse Fight Club.

In those early days, Britney looked up to Christina as the slightly more skilled and seasoned fighter. Christina was happy to mentor and help Britney every way she could. For a while the two were extremely loyal to one another. Occasionally they even teamed up as a deadly tag team duo dubbed "the Bubblegum Ball Breakers."

Brit & Chris - friends forever!

But before long, greed and jealousy would rear their ugly heads. Apparently, agents thought Britney was a highly marketable commodity and signed her away to a life of early fame and hefty paychecks. This left a sour taste in Christina's talented mouth. She vowed revenge against her former protege' for stepping over her to grab for fame. It's been a hot war between the two teen diva's ever since.

Britney Spears

Vocal talent: Sold her soul to become a huge pop star but Satan pulled a fast one and gave her everything but singing ability.

Dancing: Dances with demons under a full red moon - She's WICKED!

Christina Aguilera
Vocal talent: Let's put it this way - If God was getting married, he'd ask Christina to be His wedding singer - heaven blessed.

Dancing: She'd be really impressive - at a church social dance - That's about it.

Songs: Some are "damned" good. Decent hooks, top-notch studio work and a wicked new techno groove.

Brains: Good thing for her she's hot looking.

Personality: Zzzz - Wha? Was I sleeping?

Body: Bodacious bod with a BAD bubble butt. But is it all real? Hmmm....

Overall: A wicked entertainer. Can you imagine her live on stage? Whoo-hoo!

Songs: Some are good and some are too good to be of this earth - her music rules!

Brains: She's no dummy - not even.

Personality: She'd make a great girlfriend. (Wish she was mine)

Body: Cute little slim-jim of a girl. Nice pair up there. She's definetly OK - definetly real.

Overall: A good entertainer. A GREAT singer. The one who's CD's I actually buy.

A long heavenly chord from a cathedral organ sounds. Blue and white light fills the arena. The organ sound merges with the opening notes of Christina's song "Stronger." The MC announces, "...Christina "the Sadistic Saviour" Aguilera!" Half the crowd jumps to it's feet and cheers reverently as Christina, in a flowing sky-blue robe, makes a majestic entrance. Representatives from Coca Cola, McDonalds, K-Mart, The Republican Party and Zionist Israel begin taking notes...

The blue lights go down as wickedly dancing red lights come up. A guitar screeches a long, evil slide then merges into Britney's song "Intimidated." The MC announces, " ...Britney "the Anti-Christina" Spears!" The other half of the crowd explodes in lustful, beastlike howls as Britney, in painted on red rubber, slithers her way towards the ring. Representatives from Pepsi, Burger King, Wal-Mart, The Democratic Party and the Palestinian Liberation Oraganization begin taking notes...

The contenders enter the ring and square off. Britney snarls at a stern looking Christina. Christina makes the sign of the cross before Britney's eyes. Britney recoils a bit and hisses like a cat. Then she makes a lunge for Christina ...

It's on! Now it's up to us to decide the outcome!
There will be FIVE ROUNDS. Every 10 vote submissions will equal one round. I will tally the results and post them as the battle rages on. Whichever girl gets the most positive results after all three rounds is the Grand Teen Diva Champion for life. The other girl gets a respectful funeral and burial.
Cast your vote!
Make comments & cast a vote
* * *

Cast one vote, please. After all, aren't you curious to see who'd really win and not just help your favorite girl by cheating.

Ding! Ding! 10 votes are in... End round one.

Britney came on like a hot-assed hellion and danced circles around Christina for a while, but she tired herself out before long. Christina kept her cool and saved her energy til the time was right. Then she brought it dirrty with some vicious hair pulling and nipple tweaking. Britney ended the round panting, on her hands and knees, like a whupped devil-doggie. Christina strutted around the ring, blowing heavenly kisses and singing out to the adoring crowd...

Judges award 4 votes to Britney and 6 votes to Christina - CHRISTINA WINS ROUND ONE!

Ding! Ding! 10 votes are in... End round two.

With most of the crowd now singing her praises like a heavenly choir, Christina came on strong and continued her abuse on Britney. A series of miraculous moves left a half-dead Britney slumped in a corner of the ring. Christina turned to the crowd, arms spread crucifix style, to receive her adoration.

Meanwhile, Britney's manager, a demon in an Armani suit, poured a vile green liquid from a vial marked TOXIC into Britney's palms. Infused with a hellish new power, Britney smirked devilishly and rose up to the strains of a completely new sound. An AWESOME sound that made the crowd suddenly forget all about their sexy saviour and turn their lustful eyes to Britney. Britney gyrated up behind Christina to smear her TOXIC surprise into the innocent ones eyes. Christina screamed in mortal pain and clawed at her poisoned eyes. With blood red nails, Britney proceeded to rip and slash away at Christina's body as the crowd screamed for blood.

Her body bloodied and torn, the end was upon Christina. She looked out at the crowd and managed to gasp "Forgive them Father... they know not what they do." Her soul began to depart her body. On seeing the great sin they were a part of, the crowd repented, remembered their passion for Christina and began to wail for forgiveness. In response to the prayer of the crowd, Christina's soul re-entered her body and she rose up and smote Britney to the floor with one awesomely powerful back-hand...

Judges award 3 votes to Britney and 7 votes to Christina - CHRISTINA WINS ROUND TWO!

Ding! Ding! 10 votes are in... End round three.

Christina strolls triumphantly around the ring, receiving ever more adoration from the crowd. Meanwhile, Britney is slumped in her corner, desperatley trying to regain the energy for what might be her last round.
Fed up with Christina's self-righteous postureing, some in the crowd are secretly wishing evil on Christina.
Round three begins. Britney barely has the energy to make it to her feet. Christina moves in for the kill. She lands blow after blow upon the nearly dead dark diva, but to everyones surprise, Britney seems to get stronger with each blow. She begins to counter Christina's attacks. Before long she begins to get the upper hand and uses some vicious moves on the angelic one.
No one, not even Britney, knows why
she is steadily gaining power. Could it be she is feeding off the evil thoughts from the crowd?
Cackling Britney looms over a cowering Christina. Some in the crowd begin to shout "Kill her!, Kill her!" Britney raises her foot to slam it into unbelieving Christina's angel face when the bell rings, ending the round. The crowd goes wild.

Judges award 6 votes to Britney and 4 votes to Christina - BRITNEY WINS ROUND THREE!

Updated frequently - Be sure to BOOKMARK! (Ctrl-D)

Another fine Z Ro site. Thanx to ~*Peeps Girlee*~ for helping with the concept & writing - Last updated 9/05/04

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