January 11, 2003
The Adventures of Paisley
Last night Opera, Mechanic and I went to Michael's karaoke show. I can't remember the last time I went to a karaoke show that was as dead as that. At one point there were only five patrons in the bar, and only the three of us were singers. The bartender even talked about closing the bar early. Fortunately he didn't because more people wandered in and the show picked up a little... but it was still nothing compared to Mechanic's Tuesday night show.
I worked late at the office last night because I put up a new bulletin board. I like doing it on Fridays after everyone has basically left for the night because when they come in on Monday, there will be something new to greet them in the lunchroom.
This month I focused on a National Month of... theme. I used National Eye Care Month, National Birth Defects Prevention Month, National Human Resources Month, and National Oatmeal Month. Oatmeal? Yes. I think that was a pretty good mix of things. Hopefully there's something in that group that will be of interest to everyone. At the very least, it will provoke some comments and maybe even some jokes. After all, what's the point of a bulletin board if not to be provocative as well as informative and entertaining?
Speaking of oatmeal, over at the Quaker Oatmeal website they have a calendar that shows 31 different toppings for your oatmeal. This morning I am trying one of their suggestions - dried fruit and honey. In this case, I have chosen dried cranberries because that's what we have on hand. It is tasty. I love this so much, that I am putting their calendar in here for future enjoyment.
In this day and age, I feel very fortunate to have a job that I love so much that I am looking for a direction from this point for building a career. Should I concentrate on nonprofits? Websites? Project Management? Actually, all three could go hand in hand. Nonprofit organizations have a hard time getting hold of good webmasters, and in reality, almost any office position benefits from project management skills.
I feel especially fortunate that I am working where I am because I know that they have assets that will help them get through this slumping economy. None of us are going to be laid off. (Knock on wood.) It's true that we don't make as much as our counterparts in the for-profit industry, but we get other kinds of benefits from working there. In particular, we feel like we are all 'in it together' making positive change in our community. As long as people feel like they are making a difference in people's lives, I think they will put up with a little more - or a little less as the case may be.
So now I'm just preparing to enjoy the weekend. It's off to a good start already. My blood sugar was 120 when I woke up this morning. For me, that is just about perfect. Hmm... actually it's exactly perfect. Yesterday I went way too long without eating. When I left the office to come home, I could barely walk. I had to lean against the bus stop sign while I waited for the bus. I was shaky and dizzy, having trouble standing and walking. I just knew my blood sugar was low.
When I got home I checked my blood sugar and it was 96. For me, that is way too low... at that level I am feeling sick and about to pass out. I know it could be worse, but I don't want to get there. So I immediately ate, and after a while I felt better. Before going to sleep my sugar was 165, and I knew that if I took my full 70 units of NPH insulin, that would be too much. I did not want to wake up with a blood sugar of 40 or something. So I only took 50 units.
Now you see the results of that decision. It was a good call. I am curious what my nurse is going to say on Monday when I talk with her to follow up on all this. She writes down my sugar readings and the amount of insulin that I take so my doctor can follow what's happening with me. I still feel so green, like such a newbie, at all this insulin stuff. It continues to find ways to surprise me and make me aware of just how serious this is.
It also seems like everywhere I look on television and the internet that I see ads about diabetes, testing kits, and how serious it is to test your blood sugar and take care of yourself. Well, I have to agree. I don't know what brought all this media attention to the subject, but just after six weeks of this myself, I think it is very important. If there are people out there who are not taking care of themselves, I hope they will pay attention to this.
So now... for the dream... Mechanic and I were talking the other night about how cool it would be if I lost a signicant amount of weight, and got as healthy as I could, by about July or August. This is something I want to do and I feel very fortunate to have his support and help. So we were sorta messing around with some figures... what if I lost 15 pounds a month. That's only about 3-4 pounds a week, slow enough to keep it off, and I think a reasonable amount. So what if I did that for six months? How good would I feel if I lost 90 pounds?
Heck, how different would I look if I lost 90 pounds?
Now let's go forward with this fantasy for a moment... what if Mechanic and I flew out to Arkansas. At the airport, we would rent a car, then check into a nice hotel. Once we unloaded the suitcases from the car and freshened up a little, we would drive out to my parent's trailer home. Knock on the door.
I can imagine the look of shock, surprise and then, hopefully, happiness, when my mother saw me and then recognized me. I would hope that she would be happy for me, although Mechanic thinks she might react by asking whether I'm getting enough to eat. *giggle*
We were still daydreaming over this when Mechanic said that he would go to one of those t-shirt shops and have one made that said "Weirdo" in big letters. This is because some time back in a phone conversation with my mom, she referred to the people I live with as "weirdos." Mechanic took great offense to this at the time, and now it's like a sad twisted joke... but I responded that if he did that, I'd get a t-shirt that said "I'm With Weirdo."
We both laughed... and it was a good moment. I allowed myself to consider for just a few minutes what it would be like to be that much thinner, and that much healthier. I'm sure my problems with my feet would improve and I would be able to move about better. I'm sure I would feel so much more energy. I'm sure I would look completely different, and probably even still think I was SOOO fat.
But it would be cool to get there and see what it's like. I really want to do that. I feel like I'm getting close to the time limit. I've heard all the stuff about how after 40 your skin loses elasticity, and all those other warnings about getting older.
Shall I tell you some of the little things I've started doing to try and make this daydream a reality? At little times throughout the day when I find myself completely alone for a few minutes, I do little exercises. Depending on where I am and what's possible, it might be little arm exercises, or leg lifts, but its usually some sort of muscle-type exercise. At work I have tried to use the stairs instead of the elevator at least twice a day - not too much to tire me out but enough to get the blood pumping.
Yet when I am at home, by the time I get home at night, I am tired and don't want to use the stairs AT ALL. LOL I am so crazy.
Mechanic was also saying that if I lost that much weight, he thinks I'd have men swarming all over me. I could take my pick. Maybe so... but I think I would still have the trust issues that I have now. So while I work on my body, I still need to work on my mind.
*sigh* I think I'll go finish my oatmeal now. :-)
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