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November 10, 2002
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The Adventures of Paisley Blue

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Friday was a very interesting day. I went to see Trixie in the morning and I took a trip in the afternoon with Mechanic to deal with something he's going through. I worked late to make up for the hours I missed during the day, but when I would have normally left around 7 pm I had just discovered something online, and stayed later.

This something that I discovered online centered around a discovery of several websites, and photographs, and interesting revelations about my husband, CB. It was rather difficult to find and read these things. I mean, it was difficult emotionally but once I connected to it I kept finding more and more things. I ended up staying at the office until about 9:30 reading and discovering and feeling a gamut of emotions.

While I was waiting for the bus to go home, I was shaking because I was so upset. In a way I think I already knew a lot of the things I read about, so I don't know if it was the photographs that made me feel so upset or perhaps its the fact that there's such a plentitude of material out there.

Oh well. I am okay now because after all I have been dealing with this for well over a year. I know what's what. I spent the rest of the evening Friday thinking about all the things I've been through since he left, all the experiences I've had, the people I've met, and the fact that I have been taking care of myself. I am doing fine. That's the important thing.

So yesterday I spent the day just relaxing and it felt so luxurious and wonderful. Except for the fact that I've been so nauseous. Every morning. Somewhere between 2:00 and 3:00 I started feeling normal again. Like I've been doing for the past several days. I have no other symptoms that would indicate something like flu. It's just this intense nausea.

This morning I chatted online with Blue about his resume, and other fun things. So many things are about to change. We're trying to get this house and Blue is going to move out here and we're all gonna live together like one big happy family.

I haven't made as much progress on my novel as I wished at this point. I just never get the opportunity for it at home because there's so much noise and distraction that I can't concentrate. At work I have been so busy that its hard to sneak any writing in... but I'm going to work on it harder. It's not so much that I want to make the deadline as I am really excited about this story and I think it will be good.

Well, maybe I'll write more later... since it's still early in the day. And maybe not. LOL

~Paisley Blue

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