November 6, 2002
The Adventures of Paisley
Night before last Michael had expressed his strong desire to have tuna casserole for supper the next night, which was last night. He even gave cash to Opera to get the extra ingredients we would need to make it. However, by the time I got home from work, which was only about 30-40 minutes before Michael would be home, Opera had not got those ingredients and the message sent to Mechanic and Michael was that Opera would not be cooking that night. She was tired and didn't feel up to it all.
Well, I walked into the scene and thought I was going to do a good deed and go to the store for Opera to buy the ingredients. Upon hearing this idea, Opera had said she would make the casserole. The problem was that we did not call the guys and tell them of this plan... so on the way home from work, Michael bought ingredients for a different supper. I think I explained my part in it well enough that nobody got upset, and we do have everything we need for a cool meal tonight, so it all works out.
Still, it seemed like just another example of how I come along and stir things up. LOL
We put "Queen of the Damned" in the VCR and watched most of it before it was time for Michael to return to Hana's for his karaoke show. I had not seen the movie before and I can't wait to see the ending. I had decided to go out with Michael because I felt a need to just relax and have fun. Mechanic did not want to go, saying he was tired, and besides he was online with Blue when we were leaving. I know he'd rather chat with Blue than almost anything. *big grin*
Opera was trying to find the energy to go, and she loves to sing as much as I do. However, she had a quandry of what outfit to wear. The guys got motivated and decked her out as a guy. It was really kind of funny to see her in the big knee-length shorts, oversize tshirt and athletic socks. They teased her that she was being dressed in drag. She told me that she had never dressed like that before in her life.
We were at the bar for at least five hours, and each of us sang numerous songs. There was a pretty good crowd there and it was a hoot. This morning on the way to work, Michael told me that the bartender kept running up to him to say that the people were having fun.
I slipped a duet in on Michael that he was not expecting, and it was a song he didn't know... but once we got going he knew the tune so I figure he heard it when he was younger, and it started coming back to him - "Reunited" by Peaches and Herb.
I have loved that song since it came out back in 1979. I guess I was also feeling some kind of nostalgia or something since Michael moved back, and thought it would be a good song to do together. Well, as we were singing and I was listening to the words, they were really hitting me... and he was looking at me... and it made me wonder what was going through his mind, what he was thinking as he was singing those words, because I know what I was thinking as I was singing mine... and it's almost a little frightening. Of course, Mechanic reminded me that Michael is gay, very very gay. I know...
I was a fool to ever leave your side
Me minus you is such a lonely ride
The breakup we had has made me lonesome and sad
I realize I love you 'cause I want you bad, hey hey
I spent the ev'ning with the radio
Regret the moment that I let you go
Our quarrel was such a way of learnin' so much
I know now that I love you 'cause I need your touch, hey hey
I sat here starin' at the same old wall
Came back to life just when I got your call
I wished I could climb right through the telephone line
And give you what you want so you will still be mine, hey hey
I can't go cheatin', honey, I can't play
I found it very hard to stay away
As we reminisce on precious moments like this
I'm glad we're back together 'cause I missed your kiss
Of course, another bit of bright news to my day yesterday was that I chatted online with the young man I met Saturday. It was a nice friendly chat. I like it that my circle of friends seems to be growing, even if just a little.
Sometimes I feel a kind of strange melancholia that's not really sad... it is more reflective. Like I'm sitting on the bank of a slow-moving river, dangling my feet in the water and watching the clouds lazily drift across the sky. Its not hot and its not cold, its just right. Its not bad and its not good - its just there. Its living in the moment, yet simultaneously remembering the joys and heartaches of the past and anticipating the challenges and successes of the future.
I need a good word to describe this feeling. What the heck, though... I don't need a name for it to know that its a good thing. I just have to remember how to find that feeling of centeredness that lays buried deep inside me. I went though those rough couple of days being depressed and now I've found this spot inside me again... and I just wish I could find a way to stay there more often, or at least mark the path clearly so its not so difficult to get back to it.
I can tell you that music helps me find my way there. I'll have to explore that further in the future.
© 1998 - 2001 by Jennifer M. Seest
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