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October 14, 2002
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The Adventures of Paisley Blue

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Paisley....

Well, as you might guess it's my birthday. Most of the celebrating happened yesterday and it was cool, but for some reason my mind has been working behind the scenes evaluating myself as I have gone through the events of the day.

Let me catch you up on everything, though. We haven't heard from the stray or even about him since that morning he was found sleeping in the hallway. I'm not all that worried about him because he always manages to land on his feet.

On Friday I had left for work without eating, and Mechanic brought me lunch. It was a wonderful surprise and folks I work with thought it was very sweet. I managed to leave on time which was a wonderful way to start my weekend, too.

The big excitement Saturday came about 11:30 at night when the fire alarm went off. Mechanic and I knew exactly what was happening and jumped up, starting to get dressed. Opera was a little discombobulated but we told her to get dressed, we had to evacuate. Usually the firemen go in, the alarm goes off, and we go back inside immediately but not this time. I wish I had thought to grab a jacket! We weren't out in the night for too long, though.

Sunday morning, well it was almost noon, Michael called and said he was on his way to visit us. That motivated us to get up and dressed. At first he wanted to take us all up to Snoqualmie Falls. However, we ended up taking a drive to Federal Way instead. We relaxed all afternoon watching two movies, then we went to the SeaWolf for karaoke. First we stopped off at Michael's bar and he bought us a round of drinks.

I sang "Do That To Me One More Time" by Captain and Tennille and I had a lot of fun doing it. I have to say there's something wonderful about having your name called and lots of people start clapping and hollering your name. Later in the evening I sang "Why Not Me?" by the Judds, which I always love to sing.

Mechanic and Michael pulled a good one, though. When Michael's turn to sing came up just after midnight, he announced that before he sang his song he wanted to tell everyone there was a birthday in the house. Mama pulled me up to the stage and Michael led everyone in the bar in singing Happy Birthday to me. I was very embarrassed but it did feel good.

Afterwards they asked me if I was embarrassed and I said yes - and they high-fived each other!!! That's when I realized it had been a conspiracy. LOL

Another one of our friends bought me a birthday drink which was cool. Shortly after that we had to go, though. A couple of us had to be up early this morning. It was a memorable evening, though, that is for sure!

My mother called yesterday to wish me happy birthday, which was very cool. She said she didn't want to put it off and then possibly forget. LOL I like hearing the news about home, though. Sometimes I feel homesick, but then I come to my senses. hehe

So I've been thinking about my life and about the past year... where have I been, where am I now, and where am I going? That sorta thing. A year ago today Michael proposed to me, and I thought my life was going to be so different... I did not have any idea what kind of rollercoaster my life was going to become. Everything changed, that's for sure!

The other day Mechanic and I were talking, and he said that there was one good thing that came from the failed engagement between Michael and I. If it hadn't been for Michael, Mechanic and I would not have met. I certainly believe my life is better for having Mechanic's friendship, so I do have to thank Michael for that gift.

Sometimes I feel like I want to spend more time doing the things I want to do... rather than the things I have to do... but then I think maybe that's selfish. Today I have been thinking a lot about how I'd like to accomplish certain things before I'm 40... and time is ticking on that goal.

I'd like to write a novel... get my artwork published some more... those are the biggies. I've got my dream job. I live with a man who is the epitome of most things I've ever dreamed of, so having experienced that eliminates a lot of goals that women usually have... and there is another man who loves me with all his heart and wants to be with me. Interesting people come in and out of my life. I live in a wonderful city. When it comes right down to it, I can't really complain... life is pretty good.

Sometimes I think about joining a coven but I think I'm just too individualistic for that. I like doing things on my own in my own way. I have felt a strong pull in the last few days to incorporate my beliefs more into my daily life. Perhaps that is due to what feels like a constant barrage of Christianity being thrown my way.

I have nothing against Christianity and I have a great deal of respect for the beliefs and some of the people. I don't know why but sometimes it just feels like saturation and I want to stand up, waving my arms, saying "I'm a witch!" LOL That would probably cause heads to turn, eh?

I'm not trying to cause heads to turn. I guess I'm trying to retain my individuality. Especially in the crowded living situation we have here and with the bombardment of conspiracy theories and craziness that surround me whenever I'm home, I feel like I'm disappearing. Yeah, that's it. I feel like I am disappearing.

So if I stand up, waving my arms, saying "I'm a witch" maybe I won't disappear. If I write a novel or get my artwork published, maybe I won't disappear. I dunno... but I gotta try.

~Paisley Blue

A woman of grace, of beauty, confident in her worth.

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