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Hi, I injured myself a week ago and can't really walk around, can I get a wheelchair? How about someone to push me? [No to the first question, yes to the second.] What do you mean I should have thought of this earlier?
Ugghh-how can you do that sort of job? Aren't you disgusted by the sight of blood? [Not really. The bloody vomit that stinks of beer can kinda get to me when it splashes on my uniform, though.]
Where's the bathroom/main stage/phone/cash machine? You mean you're not the information booth?
As an EMT, do you know where the water fountain is? [As an EMT, I'm afraid beverage location isn't part of King County prehospital curriculum. As a person, I'd be happy to point to the water fountain you just walked right past.]
My BP is normal? Are you serious? Wow, 'cause I just drank a case of beer!
I think something's wrong. I just took codeine without food and now my tummy hurts. [Take a few more-eventually you won't even notice the pain.]
Hey, baby, examine me with your gloves!
Where's Randy? [One of the EMTs] You know, like Randy and Candy? You mean he's with a patient? Are you pulling my leg? You have to be kidding! Is it something really bad? No way! [Yup, taking care of patients is in the job description. Even Randy has to treat 'em occasionally.]
You're kinda like a woman. [Said to me by an EMT who meant that I was barely too old to be called a girl.]
Can you wait 'till this song is over to bandage my wrist? [After we ran all the way to get to him.] I don't want to miss my favorite song and besides, I'm not finished moshing.
Where's the nearest beer garden? [Beer gardens are the only place alcohol is sold at Bumbershoot. Asked in the same urgent tone that people have when they ask for the nearest bathroom.]
Someone is wearing Victoria's Secret perfume [We assume that would be Amy, though it could have been Matt] ...my girlfriend is over in Eastern Washington, you're driving me crazy!
Hey, stop pushing! [As we were trying to get through a mosh pit to find our patient.]
I dunno what's wrong. I found two pills on the ground so I ate them, and now I feel really sick.
They're not making you wear those uniforms when it's so hot out, are they? [Nope. Management said we could wear shorts and tank tops if we wanted, but we insisted on these long dark-blue pants, heavy black boots and button-down shirts.]
Heeyy dudes, so what's goin' on? A patient?....Cool! Look's pretty bad....bummer, man. So...like you guys need any help or all that? Just wondering, 'cause I'm like a nurse and all.... [He half shows us some kind of ID, but is too out of it to actually hold it up past waist level.]
Can I sit on your backboard? [While I was carrying it over my head to a patient.]
Do you guys have any drugs we can have? [Yes, we have plenty of ipecac syrup or ex-lax, which one do you want?]
Do you guys sell first aid kits here? Well, no....I don't want to buy one, just thought you might be selling them.
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