Everybody is dying to talk about it, but nobody talks about it: "Thirteenth Stepping" is a euphemism for sexual advances to a vulnerable newcomer in the program. Program wisdom holds that sponsors should never be sexually involved with sponsees. Also, it is often suggested that newcomers not enter into new relationships for at least a year after getting sober. The term "thirteenth stepping" is usually--but not always--used in a negative sense. It depends on the point of view: the steppor or the steppee. --------------------------------------------------------- From the A.A. Big Book: "Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a [person] who cannot or will not work with you.... To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity ... to be happy. One of our fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others ... of their chance." ------------------------------------------------------- In times of great need, many newcomers found it comforting to recite the Thirteenth Step Prayer.... Thirteen Step Prayer God Will someone please do me ! Will someone please do for me what i cannot do to myself ! Amen. -------------------------------------------------------- If you're a newcomer to A.A. and a woman, get a woman sponsor. The A.A. women are out to save your ass. The A.A. men are out to get your ass. ------------------------------------------------------ I wasn't looking for Mister Right. I was looking for Mister Right Now. ------------------------------------------------------- He's got a cute little ass. And remember, he's fair game after a year. ----------------------------------------------------- The principle behind a good Thirteenth Step is "H.O.W." -- finding someone who's Horny, Open and Willing. ----------------------------------------------------- The secret to a good Thirteenth Step is foreplay. Remember the slogans: "First things first" and "Easy does it." ----------------------------------------------------- She shares that today in recovery she's comfortable inside her body. Man, would I like to get comfortable inside her body... ----------------------------------------------------- Wow, look at her! There goes a thirteenth step just waiting to happen... ----------------------------------------------------- If you can't help another alcoholic, at least don't hurt him. ---------------------------------------------------- Is it just coincidence that there are thirteen steps to the hangman's gallows? ------------------------------------------ |
| The 13 Step Calls (humor) |
| The 13 Steps Of Humor Anonymous (unknown author) 1. We admitted we were grateful for the role humor plays in our recovery, and our laughter had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, and a little laughter now and then couldn't hurt. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him, and laughed about how if we measured what we understood about God on a scale of one to ten, the needle on the gauge would probably point to minus one, and we don't need to tell you which end of the scale is which, which makes us laugh, because we are desperate, aren't we? 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, and when appropriate, laughed at ourselves and the foibles of addiction. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, and didn't laugh too much here, because this step involves some serious shit. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, and laughed out loud when we realized how great life could be with out these defects. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings, and imagined God stripping us down to our shorts in front of our home group, to keep us humble and to provide a few laughs for the other drunks, junkies, and misfits. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and realized there was nothing funny about the length of this list. Became willing to make amends to all of them, but realized it was going to take a lot of thinking and head scratching just to figure out what "amends" were, and then to actually make them, whew! 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Made indirect amends when we didn't want to get caught or feel guilty. 10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when wrong, promptly admitted it. When our behavior was funny, ironic or ludicrous, we laughed at it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out, and sought through laughter to understand that God has a sense of humor, because after all, He created the likes of us. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others in recovery and to practice these principles in all our affairs. And we remembered humor also has the power to heal. 13. You know what step 13 is. You shouldn't be laughing. |
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