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Movie Quotes
HELLO! HELLO! THIS IS MY MOVIE QUOTES PAGE!! IT'S JUST COME OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES FROM SOME MOVIES!! AND THERE ARE LINKS ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE TO MORE QUOTES & A FORM TO FILL OUT IF YOU WANT TO SUBMIT A QUOTE!! ENJOY!!

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RUSH HOUR
James Carter: This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.

Agent Whitney: Well as long as we're gonna humiliate someone, might as well be LAPD.

Carter: Fifty million dollars?! Man, who you think you kidnapped? Chelsea Clinton?

Carter: This is the United States of James Carter here. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito!
RUSH HOUR 2
Carter: Donít be messiní with me Lee. I will slap you so hard youíll end up in the Ming Dynasty.  I mean it man, I will bitch-slap you back to Bangkok.

Carter: You sorry? I got somebodyís old chopsticks stuck up my ass and all you gotta say to me is you sorry?

Carter: Man, whatís wrong with you?  You donít jump in front of a black man in a buffet line.

Carter: Lee, let me introduce you to Carterís Theory of Criminal Investigation: follow the rich white man.

Carter: Iím telliní you Lee. Give me 6 months. 6 months and Iím going to be in Washington DC protecting the President.
Lee: We both know youíd never take a bullet for someone else.
Carter: Yeah, but they donít know that.

Carter: Oh, I know I donít think I see what I see what Iím thinking.

Lee: Iíll bitch-slap you back to Africa.
DUMB & DUMBER
Lloyd: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Harry: I was thinking the same thing.
Lloyd: That John Denver is full of shit, man.

Lloyd: When I met Mary, I got that old fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling.

Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work fourty hours a week.

Harry: Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Lloyd: I'm talkin about a place where the beer flows like wine, where the women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talkin about Aspen.
Harry: I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.
Liar Liar
Secretary: He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice.
Fletcher: Stop breaking the law, asshole!

Bum: Sir, can you spare a little change?
Fletcher: Yes I could.
Bum: Well, will you?
Fletcher: No.
Bum: Why not?
Fletcher: Because I believe you will buy booze with it. I just want to get from the car to my office without being confronted by the decay of western society. Plus I'm cheap.

Receptionist: Do you like my new dress?
Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!

Max Reid: My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.
Fletcher: That's just something ugly people say.
Monty Python & the Holy Grail
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.

God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
HERCULES
Zeus: So Hades, you finally made it. How are things in the underworld?
Hades:
Well, they're just fine. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy, and as always, hey, full of dead people, what are you gonna do?

Hades: Memo to me, memo to me. Maim you after my meeting.

Phil: Two words: I am retired.

Hades:
The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death? Hmm... is there a catch?

Hades: How sentimental. You know I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat.

Hercules: Wow, what a day, first that restaurant by the bay and then that, that play, that-that-that Oedipus thing. Man, I thought I had problems.

Meg: Megara, my friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends.
MEET THE PARENTS
Jack Byrnes: His parents gotta be decent people if they named their son Gaylord Focker.

Jack Byrnes: Trust me, Greg, when you start having little Fockers running around, you'll feel the need for this type of security.

Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, you're gonna have to check that.
Greg Focker: I got it.
Flight Attendant: No, I'm sorry, that bag won't fit.
Greg Focker: No, no, I'm not--hey, I'm not checking my bag, okay?
Flight Attendant: There's no need to raise your voice, sir.
Greg Focker: I'm not raising my voice. THIS WOULD BE RAISING MY VOICE TO YOU, okay? I don't want to check my bag, okay? And, by the way, your airline? You SUCK at checking bags, okay, because I already did that once and you lost it, and then I had everything screwed up very badly for me, okay?
Flight Attendant: Well, I can assure you that your bag will be placed safely below deck with the other luggage...
Greg Focker: Oh, yeah? How do you know my bag will be safe below with the other luggage? Huh? Are you physically going to take my bag and put it beneath the plane? Are you going to go right now outside, with the guys with the earmuffs, and go put it in there?
Flight Attendant: No...
Greg Focker: No? Okay, then shut your piehole and listen to me when I say that I am FINISHED with the checking-of-the-bags CONVERSATION!

Greg Focker: The only way that I would ever let go of my bag would be if you came over here right now and tried to pry it from my dead, lifeless fingers, okay? If you can get it from my kung-fu grip, then you can come and have it, okay? Otherwise, step off, bitch.

Jack Byrnes: I will be watching you and if I find that you are trying to corrupt my first born child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown!

Greg Focker: You can milk just about anything with nipples.
Jack Byrnes: I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?
ANALYZE THIS
Dr. Ben Sobol: What is my goal here, to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?

Dr. Ben Sobol: When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind!

Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening?
Jelly: A half a sandwich.

Boss Paul Viti: If I turn fag, you die.

Dr. Ben Sobol: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father and married his mother.
Boss Paul Viti: F***ing Greeks.

Dominic: Times are changing. You've got to change with the times.
Boss Paul Viti: What, am I supposed to get a f***ing website?

Primo: I'd like to see a movie, but it's nothing but this shoot-em-up action bullshit. I get enough of that at work.

Jimmy: You think those whales piss in that water?
Jelly: No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King.
THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Inigo Montoya: But I don not think you will accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you
Wesley: That does put a damper on our relationship

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you donít by any chance happen to have six fingers on you right hand?
Wesley: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Wesley: You mean youíll put down your rock and Iíll put down my sword and weíll try and kill each other like civilized people?

Buttercup: Weíll never survive
Wesley: Nonsense! Youíre only saying that because no on ever has.
PROBLEM CHILD I
Junior: Well, if it's so nutritious, how come I don't see you eating it?
Mr. Peabody: There! You see that? A priest. A priest, it's like a nun with a jacket.  It's a boy nun. He wants to be a boy nun.
Nun: You see, Mr. Peabody. The child is incorrigible.
Junior: I'm what? Why don't you speak English lady.
Martin: There's a few brick missing from his building.
Junior: Those are Roy's kids.  They're sharing a brain.  The one on the end has it today.
Mr. Healy: We've adopted Satan
Mrs. Healy: Oh, so now I'm a bad parent just because I hate my kid.
PROBLEM CHILD II
Junior: Itís nice having a guy who loves me. Usually people take one look and run screaming for the hills.

Principal Peabody: Oh, whoa, oh. Did something crawl in here and die?

Trixie: I wouldnít do that if I were you
Junior: If I were you, I wouldnít do a lot of things. Like go out in public.
THE SANTA CLAUSE
Charlie: Heís smart, heís a doctor.
Scott Calvin: Heís not a doctor, heís a psychiatrist.

Scott Calvin: And who gave you permission to tell Charlie thereís no Santa Claus. I think if weíre going to destroy our sonís illusions, I should be a part of it.

Scott Calvin: Charlie, do you know ho to call 911?
Charlie: Sure, 9-1-1.

Charlie: Look, youíre flying
Scott/Santa: Itís okay, Iím used to it. I lived through the 60s.
HOME ALONE
Kevinís sister: Youíre not at all worried that something might happen to him?
Buzz: No. For 3 reasons. A: Iím not that lucky. 2: We have smoke detectors. And D: we live on the most boring street in the United States of America where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.

Kevinís brother: He went shopping? He doesnít know how to tie his shoes and heís going shopping?
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LINKS TO OTHER QUOTES PAGES:
STAR WARS: EPISODE I QUOTES
AS GOOD AS IT GETS QUOTES
A KNIGHTS TALE QUOTES
X-MEN QUTOES
EVER AFTER QUOTES
AUSTIN POWERS: INT'L MAN OF MYSTERY QUOTES
TITANIC QUOTES
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