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Cat Commandments

 

 

 

Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.

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    Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

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    Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

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    Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou are transparent.

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    Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator.

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    Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

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    Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

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    Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy humans' genital regions.

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    Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

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    Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

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    Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.

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    Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.

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    Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 AM.

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    Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at thy first opportunity.

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    Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.

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    Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.

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    Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

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    Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

 

 

 

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