My aunt Irma couldn't wait to get married! She lived during times that if a lady wasn't married by age 22, she was considered a "solterona", a Spanish hateful term that implied that that woman was too old, too ugly or too stupid, therefore no one wanted to married her.
When aunt Irma met her future husband, my grandmother had a fit! He was a divorced man, known by some as an aggressive type, which was confirmed by his former wife. But aunt Irma didn't want to hear about it, and in spite of my grandmother's attitude, and because my aunt was old enough, she went ahead and married.
Wherever she lived, we would visit aunt Irma, until the afternoon that I learned that her husband, under the influence of alcohol, shot her to death. She had covered her 2 children's bodies with her body. She was pregnant with twin girls at the time, but the bullets found their way into her body, killing her and the babies soon after the shooting.
You might wonder if my aunt wasn?t educated. Well, she was a teacher. She had more education than many other women during the 20th century. You might think that nowadays women are smarter, more independent, and more powerful than our ancestors... But I believe we still have a long way to go!
Society played a significant role teaching mankind how women had a place in their homes, and no right to speak their opinions. Women had to keep their sorrows to themselves, giving their oppressors extra power. This was the reality in the Puerto Rican society where my aunt grew up, and I don't believe it was that different from our American counterparts. Sad to say, those misconceptions haunt many women today. Our children are still learning some of the same destructive values we inherited from our past.
Family members relate to each other in fear, and victims and oppressors play the same destructive games of power, leaving children in an abyss of confusion and pain.
My call today, my dear reader, is an awakening cry for our children, the real victims of violence. A cry to awaken my fellow sisters, so you can open up your hearts and minds and search for help instead of keeping yourselves locked behind closed windows. Please learn to overcome shame - the only ones that should be ashamed are the real oppressors.
Look for women's organizations, shelters, homes, your family, your friends, your church. If a door closes in your face, another will be open, don't give up, have faith in God, and trust yourself!
Today is the day to awaken. Tomorrow it might be too late!
By Roxana Reyes Davis
In memory of my Aunt Irma, and my surviving Cousins.
