The internet bug hits far and wide. Lots of people are currently online communicating, and getting to know each other. Well, I know some would say addiction is a bad thing.. but remember these lists are made in the spirit of fun (hey, I heard that one... *grin* --- and fair play) *wink* So please read the following up and tell me whether you have the same symptoms. *L*

First Symptoms:

• You have the following chat programs, POWWOW, FREETEL, ICQ, mIRC, and popular to more than 3 chatsites in the WWW. ---
• You are on first name basis with your ISP's Tech Support. (Hello Marlon, Jason, Mike, Kit... *hehehehe*)
• You receive a grand or heroes welcome whenever you enter a chatroom. *grin*
• Your friends notices that your ICQ never go offline. *L*
• There's no need to introduce yourself on the phone to your ISP's Tech Team... They knew who you are before you open your mouth or by hearing your voice.
• You began to miss school and your impeccable grades begins to deteriorate and became a distant memory.
• You felt that you have been robbed if you did not receive any e-mails for a day and thus plead your friends to send you one just to check whether it is working.
• You eat your meals in front of the computer. Hence there is a permanent food stains in your keyboard.



Second symptoms:


• Will forgo eating, sleeping and bathroom breaks in favor of chatting.
• You're a netaholic when you have to hold the telephone wires together between your teeth in order to keep both hands free for the keyboard.
• You know your addicted to the Net when your wife points you to a list of symptoms of net addiction and you think "These would be funny if they weren't so true!"
• You read every thing on this page and still thinking that something is missing.
• When you start using your CD tray as a cup holder.
• Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.
• You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".
• When you have s*x, you're not concerned about sexually transmitted diseases.
• Although you don't know what they look like, you become insanely jealous of people hitting on your cyber-love.
• You don't even know what your cyber-love looks like.
• Your spouse complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep instead of talking.
• Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night.
• When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"
• You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.
• You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're on-line again.
• You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.
• You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much, than the truth (online all night).
• You go into labor and you stop to type a special E-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away and how you're feeling.
• You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time.
• You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online before you have your first cup of coffee.
• You have to inject no-doze into your bu*t to keep it awake.
• You wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work.
• Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had.
• You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.
• You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.
• You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.
• You type faster than you think.
• You got your psychiatrist addicted to chat too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.
• You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa.
• Being called a Newbie is a "MAJOR" insult.
• You don't want to leave the chatroom in case you miss something.
• You double click your TV remote.
• You understand the humor in all of these. Because you are guilty or committed of these symptoms



Others:


• Your friends call YOU for tech-support.
• You have one phone line and it's busy 18 hours a day.
• At 3:00 a.m. your spouse asks "When are you coming to bed ?"
• You can run three internet chatsites at once and keep track of every one of them.
• You've memorized more than 10 URL's
• You call in sick to work, because your net friends need you and currently online.
• Dinner was ready at 5:00 and your wife is still calling you an hour later. (And you're really starting to believe that cold food tastes better.)
• You've moved the coffee pot or refrigerator closer to the computer.
• The only mail you remember to check is E-mail.
• All your friends have homepages.
• You fill out your new address book using "@..."
• You find yourself staring at your "inbox" waiting for new e-mail to arrive.
• You communicate with people on other continents more than you do with your own neighbors.
• Your business cards contain your e-mail address.
• You promise yourself that you'll only stay online for another 15 minutes ...at least once every hour.
• You dream about creating the world's greatest web site.
• You start using smileys and chat acronymns in your snail mail.
• You stay up late every night waiting for your wife and children to fall asleep so you can go online.
• Everyone you know asks why your phone line is always busy ...and you're seriously considering getting a second phone line.
• You get up before the sun rises to check your e-mail, and you find yourself in the very same chair long after the sun has set.
• You forget to eat because you're too busy chatting or surfing.
• You buy a pager so family and friends that really need to get through can beep you to return their call.
• You religiously respond to immediately to e-mail, while ignoring your growing pile of snail mail.
• When someone asks you for your address, you tell them your URL.
• You sit down at the computer right after dinner and your spouse says "See you in the morning."
• You leave yourself e-mail before you go to bed to remind you what to do when you wake up.
• Your kids start referring to you as "that guy in front of the monitor."
• You're constantly yelling at your mate for using the phone for ...like talking to a neighbor or a friend.
• You purchase a laptop so you can surf while sitting on the can.
• You spend Saturday night making the counter on your home page pass that 2000 mark.
• You've given up the search for the "perfect woman" and instead, sit in front of the PC until you're just too tired to care.
• At parties, you introduce your spouse as your "service provider."
• Your wife melts your keyboard in the oven.
• You e-mail your boss, informing him you'll be late.
• In addition to your e-mail address being on your business cards you even have your own domain.
• Your husband has his lawyer deliver the divorce papers...via e-mail.
• Your house stinks because you haven't cleaned it in a week.
• You and your friends get together regularly on chatroom, even though all of you live in the same city.
• When told to "go to your room" you inform your parents that you can't...because you were kicked out and banned.
• You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
• You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
• You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
• You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if a new e-mail arrives.
• Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
• All of your friends have an @ in their names.
• When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
• You read the entire the Netaholics Anonymous page looking for something that doesn't describe you.
• Your dog has its own home page.
• You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.
• It takes you two hours to check all 14 of your mailboxes.
• Your wife asks for s*x and you tell her where to find you on IRC or any of the chatrooms.
• You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
• You're a heavy smoker, but you haven't lit a single cigarette since you first installed Netscape.
• You eagerly await the update of the "Cool Site of the Day."
• You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
• You ask if the Netaholics Anonymous t-shirt you ordered can be sent to you via e-mail.
• You believe nothing looks sexier than a man in boxer shorts illuminated only by a 17" inch svga monitor.
• You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
• You have comandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
• Even though you died last week, you've managed to retain OPS on your favorite IRC channel or as a Chat Monitor in a chat site.
• You're being audited because you mailed your tax return to the chatroom.
• You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
• You don't know what is the sex over three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
• You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
• You'd rather go to http://www.weather.com/ than look out your window.
• You'd rather catch a score on the web than watch the game as it is being played on tv.
• You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
• Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
• You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
• You really believe in the concept of a "paperless" office.
• You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
• Your S*x life has drastically improved...so what if it's only cyber-s*x!
• You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
• You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
• You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
• Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
• You invent another person and chat with yourself in empty chat rooms.
• You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
• Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel, or chatroom hang-out.
• You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
• Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
• You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
• You get a tatoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 1.1 or higher."
• The Alta Vista administrators ask you what sites are missing in their index files.
• You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
• The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
• You put a pillow case over your laptop so your lover doesn't see it while you are pretending to catch your breath.
• You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
• You forget what year it is.
• You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
• Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
• As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your final instinct is to search for the "back" button.
• You read all the quotes at Netaholics Anonymous and keep thinking "What's wrong with that?"
• The remote to the T.V. is missing...and you don't even care.
• The last time you looked at the clock it was 11:30pm, and in what seems like only a few seconds later, your sister runs past you to catch her 7am school bus.
• You create a homepage with the impression to cure the afflicted...but your hidden agenda is to receive more e-mail.