|Dating a single mom lowdown
Basically there are things a guy should know about dating a single mom. Lets be frank here alot of guys have no clue that there are different "rules" with single mom dating that have to be considered.
Whether they are newly single mom's or old pros here's the bottom line. The child comes first. It doesn't matter if you paid $200.00 for concert tickets and are forced, as a result of her childs illness to take you 12 year old little sister Molly or not. Sure she'll feel sorry about the situation but let's face it. It's a matter of blood is thicker then water. So you have to be prepared to face that fact.
Newly a Single Mom
These are the types that you really have to tread lightly with. Especially if you are the first or one of the first men she has dated since the "rotten piece of shit" took off. (same deal if she dumped him..... 90% of the time he's still a rotten asshole, sometimes he's even "that good for nothing, lazy assed, motherf***er", depending on the situation.)
As stated newly single, single mom's (new meaning within one year) are especially unstable. For lack of a better word. With this situation she is in a position where she still doen't trust men (varying degrees depending on how bad she got screwed over) So you have to be aware of that.
Basically, a relationship with a new single mom is going to start from the very ground up. Meaning you have to be her friend and gain her trust. Which may not always be a very easy task. They're going to be very critical, the relationship will not be a major priority, the priority is the child right now. Again, you come second place so deal with it. If this isn't the case then she doesn't have her priorities set right and you shouldn't even bother with her. If she doesn't even care enough to put her own child first then you'll never mean much to her.
You are going to be judged, scrutinized and analyized regarding your intentions, past relationships and values. (If your a dead beat dad yourself forget it you'll get no where with her) Most of them will be the sit back and watch and wait type.
They will push you away and act aloof. Don't be fooled it's a combination of a defence mechanism and a test of loyality on your case. If you don't realize this and give up then you're missing out on a wonderful opportunity. Remember that what is worth getting is worth fighting for.
Single mom's will not put up with head games, bullshit, cancelations (cancelations especially if they went to the effort to get a sitter for the date) If you do any of those then don't expect her to continue seeing you.
Do expect alot of threesomes. Now don't be getting too excited over the prospect threesomes meaning you, her and the child... Be prepared to buy ice cream. (and possibly earplugs)
Never, ever, ever critize a single mom NEVER. She is the mother of the child her way is as far as she is concerned the only way and best way. Same goes with critizing the child.... never do that because that will be seen to her as a blow to her personally. Lets face it every mother thinks thier child is the best child no matter how much they may complain about a particular habit the child may have.
The ex may or may not be in the child's life. If the single mom says it's on his own acord then it is and drop the subject. Men can be rotten bastards whether you could ever relate to abandoning your child or not.. Some will and have no conscience about lying about the situation. Be aware of that.
Finally the best advice is to be open, honest and dedicated no matter how confused or messed up the single mom may be eventually she will find her way back to trusting men. and believing in the concept of being in a loving relationship but it will take time. But it will be well worth it I guarentee.
|Things you should note when single mom dating...
It's always the ex's fault that she's now a single mom.
If you have a trait that is like the ex, it will be noted.
We will talk about the ex. Get over it.
If you don't like our child, you had better be a good actor.
They're never wrong. Even when we are. Don't question it. (relates to any situation with any woman really)
Don't expect us to be on time. Babies always have ugent problems that mess up plans.
Understanding, honesty and devotion are the key.
You can learn many things from children; How much patience you have for instance
Franklin P Jones
Pretty much all the honest truth telling in the world is done by children.
Oliver Wendal Holmes
Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit