FREEING UNCLE JIMMY
By Ritagail
Honest Aspie
(March 28, 2004)
Bless me, Father,
For I have sinned.
I've hated myself
Since I can't remember when.
I never could be
Like everyone else,
And I despaired of my life,
And sought my own death.
I figured I was poison,
Not even a part of Humanity,
That Salvation was for Everyone Else
But never, ever, for me.
I knew I could never be normal,
Do things like others, or fit in,
Not even at Church,
Not even through fasting and prayer.
My knee hurts on this kneeler,
From the recent bike wreck I had.
No, I wasn't wearing my helmet.
Yes, I know being dangerous on purpose is bad.
Yes, I'm wearing my helmet now when I ride.
No, I'm not going to try to do myself in.
Whaddaya mean say only
One
Our Father?!
Weren't you listening to how much I've sinned?!
Graveyard Revisited
(March 28, 2004)
Uncle Jimmy.
Their Sweet Jimmy.
A relative recently told me that
I sounded a bit
Like stories of Uncle Jimmy.
They said he would
Gaze
At the flowers
For hours.
Over and over.
Without knowing this,
I had drawn, years ago,
A sketch of the old
Oak Valley Graveyard.
With the sheep tombstone.
And Uncle Jimmy's plainer grave.
And the grave of my childhood.
A step by the fence,
And a rope to swing over-
Freeing Uncle Jimmy
From the saintly shadows of his past.
Freeing Uncle Jimmy
So he can rest at last.
Freeing Uncle Jimmy
Living inside of me.
Freeing us both.
Over the fence.
Free
Just to Be.
Aspie Adoration
(March 29, 2004)
My
Favorite Thing To Do,
Well,
One of them,
Is to
Sneak in here
To see You
And to tell You
Everything.
And,
Sometimes,
Just to sit in here,
Slightly rocking,
With my Lamby Pie,
And say Nothing At All.
Just to be with You,
When the Humans
Ain't around.
Is that bad of me?
I love You.
Thank You for letting me be me,
Even if I am an Aspie.
Did You give Uncle Jimmy
A whole Garden of flowers
So he can gaze at You
And them
For hours and hours?
Like me.
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