FEAR=Face Everything And Recover!!!



A PD Survivor's Page



I am lost inside myself. Trapped by fear and pain.
Will I ever walk alone again in sunshine and in rain?

I lost myself so long ago. I can't remember me.
I can only hope and pray, that someday I'll be free.

No one knows the terror, that dwells within my heart.
I can't explain the way it feels, it's tearing me apart.

I cannot seem to overcome this gnawing awful fear.
I find it hard to live with hope, thru each quick passing year.

I pray that God will rescue me and give me back my life.
Helping me to overcome this ever present strife

1986






Hello and Welcome!! My name is Dee. When I wrote the poem above, I was in my 8th year of living with Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia. Didn't sound real optimistic, did I? Now I am in year 22 and I have an entirely different outlook on how panic disorder affects my life.

I still have panic disorder, I still have panic attacks occasionally, I still avoid things. So what's different? The difference is in how I think!! Before I was full of "what ifs" and "why me's". I had to learn to think differently. I had to learn to say "so what if" and "why not me". It wasn't an easy lesson to learn, but once I accepted this simple fact, my life began to change.

One truth I have learned from living with PD is....I CAN CHOOSE HOW I FEEL BY HOW I REACT TO THINGS. I can't control how other people act toward me or how they treat me, but I can control how I react to them. Realizing that I have a choice empowers me and is very freeing.....I am no longer a victim. This was key in my beginning the journey toward recovery.

I created this page to pay homage to the people in my life that have put up with the worst that panic disorder has to offer, because PD doesn't just affect the sufferer, but also the family and friends of the sufferer. This page is dedicated to those people who stood by me and never gave up on me and never let me give up on myself.

I created this page also in hopes that it might help just one person not to have to live with this condition as long as I have.

Most importantly this page was created to give glory to God. Though my faith was battered and bruised at times throughout this ordeal, God never left me. His Grace and Mercy sustained me, when I had lost all hope. His promises were my lifeline when I was deep in despair. To Him I give all the Glory and Honor Forever and ever!!!






YOU THINK YOU HAVE PD?

Know that you are not alone.
See your doctor to rule out any physical causes.
Seek help from a specialist in PD.
Don't be afraid to give medications a chance.
Eliminate caffeine completely if you can.
Become informed, read all you can about PD.
Confide in a good friend.
Remember, it's just anxiety...it can't hurt you!!
There is hope, you are not crazy!
Remember to take baby steps.
Celebrate every success...no matter how small.
Pray and seek God's help.

Please visit my page, Understanding Panic Disorder for a more detailed explanation of panic disorder and coping techniques.





COPING SKILLS

Prayer
Deep Breathing...breath slowly in through nose and out through the mouth..making sure your tummy rises before your chest.
Relaxation
Proper Diet and Rest
Positive Dialogue...tell yourself that it's just anxiety, it will pass.
Exercise
Stay in the present moment..don't fret about yesterday or tomorrow
Talk with someone, share your concerns with a trusted friend.






FAVORITE BOOKS AND RESOURSES

THE BIBLE
From Panic to Power........Lucinda Bassett
Peace From Nervous Suffering...Dr.Claire Weekes
Don't Panic.......Reid Wilson

Home study self help programs
Attacking Anxiety Tape Series....Midwest Center..1-800-944-9428...Call for free introductory information and tape.
Anxiety Busters another excellent series of home study tapes.

For more books on panic disorder, visit my second page, A Merry Heart and check them out on my Amazon book link.






FAVORITE BIBLE VERSES

2 Timothy 1:7.. For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

1 John 1:9..If We confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Philippians 4:6,7..Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God: and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:28..And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Psalms 27:4..The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?






At the top of this page, I said that I wanted to dedicate it to everyone who stood with me through my 22 years of living with panic disorder, so here goes.

To my wonderful husband of 31 years. Thank you for being my "safe person" and my best friend. Thank you for rarely complaining when you had to do the shopping and running of errands, when I couldn't. Thank you for never making me feel less of a person because of this disorder. Thank you most for your love and understanding. I would have never have made it without you.


To my children, who are grown now and out of "the nest". Thank you both for accepting that mom was "different". Thank you for being my "cheerleaders" when I attempted to grow and recover. Thank you for being my reason to push myself and do things that I would never had done, if it were not for you. Thank you for being my "purpose"...I love you both more than you will ever know.


To my family and friends. Though you never fully understood the extent of my disorder, you tried your best to be there for me. I always knew that I could count on you all for anything, and for that I am eternally grateful. May God's blessings be on each and every one of you always and forever! Thank you!!

And last......to my God. Thank you Father for never leaving me, for always loving me, even when I was unlovable. Thank you for Your tender mercies when I was too depressed to call on You for help. Thank you above all else for sending Your Son Jesus to die on the cross for my sins and to cleanse me and make me pure in Your eyes.

If you have visited this page and would like a personal relationship with God, it is a simple thing to do. Just close your eyes and pray. Confess that you are a sinner and believe in your heart that God raised His Son Jesus from the dead. Then ask God to come into your heart and be the Lord of your life and to forgive you of your sin. Then thank Him, because if you prayed that prayer, He has forgiven you, forgotten your sins, and made you His child. Praise God!!




MY CYBER ANGELS

Moe, Curly, Shemp and Curly Joe....long live the stooges!
Soulnight, Champ, and Susan......my nightowl buddies.
Hydrangea... Othello Queen and Webmaster.
Lynn, Kathy and Jenni........my adopted kiddos
Snickers, Paula, and Karen...my aol pals
Micolby, aka.....the white tornado
MDAB....a true friend
And all my new buddies I've made on my journies through cyberspace.

God bless you all......












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