Get An Urban Agriculture Degree!
Dear Bill,
For people with CFS and FMS, here's a time/energy/money saver
that I think people will really appreciate: Urban Agriculture.
You can get a degree in Urban Agriculture online in just a few
minutes from the General Delivery University:
http://www.bandersnatch.com/ag.htm
I haven't even got my degree yet and I am already "celebrating
biodiversity" by turning my front yard into a "botanical
garden" with all sorts of "exotic plants, medicinal
herbs, and ornamental grasses." I'm thinking about starting
to charge admission and giving seminars on such topics as "advanced
grasscycling and mulching" and "medicinal uses for
dandelion roots." I could sell the herbs at inflated prices
because they're all "organically grown" because I do
not use any herbicides, pesticides, or chemical fertilizers.
Well, actually, I cut the grass at most once a month and have 6
species of dandelion and wild mint growing in my yard, crab
grass, chick weed, you name it. There were a few "happy
accidents" like some beautiful staghorn ferns and moss that
started growing in a damp spot in the yard and have continued to
spread every year.
So far, I've gotten by with only one nasty letter from the home
owner's association saying I better cut my grass or lose my pool
privileges. Fortunately, we live in a townhouse with a very small
yard, and the guy who cuts our neighbor's grass is really nice
and usually cuts our tree lawn as well.
There are a few good "low maintenance" plants I can
recommend that I actually planted on purpose: lavender, any kind
of sage, and mint. The sage stays green all year round here in
Maryland, so it's getting quite bushy. During the summer, the
traditional sage and the lavender get pretty blue and purple
flowers. With the warm temperatures, our pineapple sage hs grown
to 3'x3' and still has lovely red and magenta flowers blooming
all over it.
Pennyroyal is a lovely, low creeping mint which has been taking
over another section of our yard like groundcover (caution:
pennyroyal is somewhat toxic and large amounts can cause internal
hemorrhaging! It should never be taken by pregnant women). It has
a really nice smell when I do cut the grass. It sends up flower
stalks with purple flowers in late spring to early summer.
Best of all, all of those plants are perennials, so you can just
plant it and forget it.
Happy "gardening,"
--
"Jonathan F. Dill" (dill@umbi.umd.edu)
On the web: http://www2.cybercities.com/j/jfdill
GDU College
of Urban Agriculture
The days of the family
farm, with a red-painted barn, a few
cows (hopefully sane) and a hundred acres of corn are ancient
history. GDU has focused its agricultural program on the city
resident.
AG 101: WEEDS Weeds
can be grown in aesthetic
arrangements. This is useful when city officials attempt to cite
you for violating local ordinances against growing noxious plants
on your property.
AG 102: AGRICULTURAL
INVESTMENT Various investment
opportunities in agriculture, such as in Columbia, will be
studied. Further information on this course will only be provided
upon proof, to GDU's satisfaction, of no criminal or civil
liability to GDU, its officers, directors, employees or agents.
AG 103: HOME GARDENING
FOR FUN AND PROFIT Unofficial
reports indicate that the cultivation of marijuana may be
America's largest cash crop. How to conceal your garden from
aerial surveillance and the use of marketing cooperatives will be
covered.
AG 104: HOW TO EVADE THE
RECLAMATION LAW (Of special
interest to the sons and daughters of farmers in Arizona and
California). The United States insists that federally subsidized
water in the West should only be available to family farmers. How
to evade this law and get cheap federal water to irrigate 10,000
acres of cotton is the focus of these Course Materials.
AG 105: URBAN LIVESTOCK
Raising animals for profit has
long been a important aspect of the agricultural experience.
However, it is seriously impractical to raise cattle or sheep in
urban apartments. But, due to the demand for small household
pets, vast new markets have emerged for the raising and selling
of hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, ferrets, canaries, finches,
and boa constrictors. Learn how to turn your spare bedroom or
balcony into a mini-ranch.
AG 106: THE FAMILY FARM
The modern family farm requires
at least one family member to hassle with the federal government,
one member to deal with the bank, one to keep the equipment
working, and one to actually go out in the fields to see if the
crops are growing. Learn how the break-up of the traditional
American family has threatened the existence of the family farm.
AG 107: PEST CONTROL
Besides the risks of bugs, the
modern farmer must constantly try to avoid his or her farm from
being foreclosed. Learn ecologically friendly ways to control
pests and bankers.
Copyright 1997 by Hugh
Holub
Any comments? Send them to Bill Jackson at cfsdays@yahoo.com
