1. Decisions about which body part to wash depend on which doctor you're seeing today, i.e., face/ears for the ENT; feet for the podiatrist; arms for blood tests; etc...

2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.

3. Read labels carefully. Ever notice how much the can of room freshener resembles the can of deodorant?

4. Remember to warn your spouse before kissing if you've just taken your herbal remedies, since your breath now smells like grass.


1. If you can't remember what it is you're cooking in the pot, whatever it is, it can probably use more salt.

2. Do not toss that cold cup of coffee into the dryer or set the iron in the refrigerator to cool off, no matter how good an idea it may seem at the time.

3. When your husband tells you "Don't worry about dinner, just throw some frozen chicken in the oven and forget it", DON'T forget it.

4. When everything INCLUDING the can opener is dirty, it may be time to wash some dishes.

5. It's bad manners to fall asleep at the table, especially in the food.

6. If you're having a bad day, there's nothing better than pizza and quiet.


1. Always place a Post-It Note on the dashboard telling you where you're going. And when you get there, place another on the dashboard that says HOME.

2. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.

3. Always carry an electronic homing device in your car and with you so you can find your car in the parking lot.


1. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

2. If you take the dog for a walk, make sure he brings you back.

3. Nevermind about taking one day at a time. Just stick to one thing at a time.

4. Try to spend at least 45 minutes each morning doing one get-up.

5. Work at learning something new every day, like sitting up, for example...

6. Remember to breathe when napping. It's unnerving to wake up and see vultures staring at you.

7. Learn to understand your "body language":

Joints - "I ache! It's going to rain!"
Stomach - "You're getting me upset!"
Nose - "Oh, oh, I'm getting a cold!"
Head - "Stop it, all of you! I'm getting a migraine!"

Web page design by Bill Jackson, 1998.

Any comments? Send them to Bill Jackson at

Button pointing leftBack to Toon Page