What does it take to be an ADDICT?


What does it take to be an ADDICT? by Ambrose
	The Mantis of Mecha has been bugged for as long as I've been here.... (^_^) I have completed my analysis of our dear Prabalis. ^_^ I fear he is struck with a most awful disease... a disease we shall tentatively label "Mecha-Model-Fixation-Compulsion-Syndrome." Or the "mad-modeller's illness"... (MMI) (aka "mad-modeller's Disease" aka "MMD") Those who are struck with this disease are forever compelled to buy models, and more models, and more models, and more.... They are forced to purchase countless models. In Arizona, certain anime-store workers have reported sightings of a person who walks in with half-mad expressions, drool-decorated shirts, salivating mandible. This person rushes wildly into the store and buys countless models and leaves, but only to return and repeat the process again and again. Discontinuation of this helpless pattern will result in dire consequences: 1) Mad flailing of the limbs The models provide sanity into the subjects' lives. Without this sanity... this sense of security as one tears open the box housing those precious pieces of plastic, the serenity of assembling the models, the beauty of the completed project, the final endearing efforts, bring the subject both peace and happiness... Without this peace, the subject reverts into a primal level of non-control. 2) Rage Watch what happens if the subject is placed into a sealed room with NO models. He/she will soon disturb the premises violently, screaming... crying... angry... furious... It is essential to provide those who are struck with this syndrome with a constant supply of models...the ramifications of the opposite situation (no models) are frightening... Without the continuation of the modeling process, the subject soon loses all will to live. Without models, the subject feels he is less than human or unable to continue life. A young man was found dead of Carbon Monoxide poisioning.. He was found clutching his 1/100 scale MSM-03 Gog. It is my belief that the fact that the MSM-03 Gog was held is symbolic... Without these models the subject is an "ugly" human being, just as that particular model is "ugly". By keeping the MSM-03 Gog in hand, the subject, he/she, has spared "normal" people the prescence of an unhappy, grumpy, manaical, model-less person. Without models in his life, he has become an ugly, awkward looking, out-of-place, human-embodiment-personification of a vulgar mecha... As of now, we are unaware of what causes this syndrome to manifest itself. I believe it may be a direct result of a top-secret project created by Bandai representatives. My hypothesis is that Bandai released handful of models tainted with some sort of mind-control substance residue. Upon opening the model... at the first touch of the beautifully shaped plastic... at the first inhalation of pre-assembly model-aroma... the person is infected... Lastly, I believe this malady can be spread... the "NANDY-effect" Probe's constant bantering about models awakened a part of me... I fear that, after all this time about hearing of and reading of models, building tips, reviews, and picks-of-the-week.... I may be infected... I drool over models more frequently... I have noticed that I myself have shaking hands, mild irritability, and impatience... UNTIL I open another box of bandai produced plastic... I find myself referring to myself in the 3rd person.... I... (help me) must... (please help me) buy... (what is wrong with me?) models.... (i can't control the urge) Ambrose ca-ca-can't control himself... Ambrose must order more models....more...More...MOre...MORe...MORE! ARARARARARGAGHGARAGHAGH... (cough, sputter) ...ARAGHAGHARAHAGHARGHAGAHGARAHG! (fully infected now)


Crazy Probe's Reply by Prabal Nandy
	> The Mantis of Mecha has been bugged for as long as I've been here.... I ain't bugged, ya heah? Oh yeah, yous gots to check out m' latest flick "Mimic", it's all abouts me and my big bad roachy bros who go out for a night on the town, takin' names, stealin' hubcaps and EATIN' people! Ah ha ha ah! Yeah, dem hollywood boys dey didn't like m' endin' so they tacked on some crap 'bout scientists savin' the world from us bugs, bah! So much for cinema verite! > I have completed my analysis on our dear Prabalis. ^_^ > I fear he is struck with a most awful disease...a disease we shall > tentatively label "mecha-model-fixation-compulsion-syndrome." :) > or the "mad-modeller's illness"... (MMI) M-m-m Mad Modeller's Disease! It's a disease, man! The first step to recovery is to admit that you have a problem... it's nothing to be ashamed of, really... but it's not something to be proud of either, you know? Well, there's this twelve step program, and I _am_ wearing the cyanoacrylate patches that's supposed to get you off the crazy glue addiction, but hell, I can't get the _Patches_ off either! Auuugh! > Those who are struck with this disease are forever compelled to > buy models, and more models, and more models, and more.... It's a vicious cycle man! You don't know what it's like! You buy just one, and you tell yourself "I can control it! I'm in control! Just one more and I'll be fine... if I can just make it to Friday..." But then you look at the side of the box and what's there!? Pictures of MORE MODELS! And you gotta bite your tongue and try not to stare, but every day you spend painting up that plastic beauty those robots are there on the box, STARING AT YOU WITH THEIR GLOWING EYES! And you can't resist! You can't eat, you can't sleep, their eyes follow you wherever you go! And you tell yourself "One more can't hurt! It's just twenty bucks worth of plastic man! I promise not to use glue! And no more putty!" and you CAN'T STOP! Your hands start shaking unless you hold a paintbrush... your eyes go out of focus unless you're applying decals with a tweezer three inches from your face! It takes you over! Before you know it, you're sleeping with the phone and the local Bandai America rep, and you've got Hobbylink Japan on autodial, and everywhere you look, Models... MODELS... MODELS!!! Staring at YOU with their glowing EYES! Ah ha ah aha! They can't stop me! Nobody can! Ah ha ha ha! > They are forced to purchase countless models. I can count them! I can! Truly! But they're everwhere! I have them on my desk, my dresser... they're in my drawers and under the sink! I've got the keep the food in the car so I can have mecha in my fridge! There are Hygogs and Zugocks taking on Chilly-GMs in my Freezer! My bed is a Giant EVA diorama! There are Gogs and Gundams fighting in my tub! Evangelions rising out of the toilet! (I even got them pink food coloring for added effect!) Ah ha ha ha! > In Arizona, certain anime-store workers have reported sightings of a > person who walks in with half-mad expressions, drool-decorated > shirts, salivating mandible. This person rushes wildly into the store > and buys countless models and leaves, but only to return and repeat > the process again and again. It's an endless cycle, I tells ya! It can't end! And the one week when the shipment doesn't come in... Well, let's just say, a man's gotta glue SOMETHING! Mhu ha ha haha! Wait... I don't get it. (Scratches head) > Discontinuation of this helpless pattern will result in dire > consequences: > 1)Mad flailing of the limbs Agh! Auuugh! (Whack whack!) > The models provide sanity into the sujects' lives. When I'm tired, And lonely.... And I need a helpin' hand.... And nothin', I say nothin's Fittin' right.... I just open up a box... Those robots who can talks, They'll be there, there comin' To see me again.... > Without this sanity...this sense of security as one tears open the box > housing those precious pieces of plastic, the serenity of assembling > models, the beauty of completed project, the final endearing efforts > bring the subject both peace and happiness...without this peace, the > subject reverts into a primal level of non-control. You understand! Come and take your place! Together we'll build ALL THE MODELS! Ah ha ha ha! We'll control the WORLD! The robots, they come alive! > Watch what happens if the subject is placed into a sealed room with > NO models. He/she will soon disturb the premises violently, > screaming...crying... angry... furious... Must glue! Must sand! Must Putty! We hold these truths to be self evident! That all men are imbued by their Bandai with the urge to build MECHA MECHA MECHA!!! And among these are the rights to glue, sand, dry-fit and putty! > It is essential to provide those who are struck with this syndrome with > a constant supply of models...the ramifications of the opposite > situation (no models) are frightening... Yes! That's right! Listen to the kid! I'll... I'll... (thinks) I'll BITE you! > Without the continuation of the model process, the subject soon > loses all will to live. > 4)Perhaps...Inevitably...death.... No... it can't happen! Bandai will ALWAYS make more mecha! They can't stop! I... I Can't stop!!! > Without models, the subject feels he is less than human or unable to > continue life. Hey, man... I'm a giant preying mantis! I never claimed to be (Ach-ptheey!) a Human! Bah! I'm tough! Chitinous! Like a mecha! But with more legs, you see? > A young man was found dead of Carbon Monoxide poisioning.. > He was found clutching his 1/100 scale MSM-03 Gog. That would be Bob... alas, I knew him well! A fellow of infinite jest... Well, in actuality he was a jerk, but hey... > It is my belief that the fact that the MSM-03 Gog was held > is symbolic... Yeah, Freud would have had a field day with THAT guy... He had an infatuation with vernier motors... > Without these models the subject is an "ugly" human being, just > as that particular model is "ugly". By keeping the MSM-03 Gog > in hand Hey! We're not ALL ugly! I'm a beautiful shade of iridescent green! > he/she has spared "normal" people the prescence of an unhappy, > grumpy, manaical, model-less person. Without models in his life, > he has become an ugly, awkward looking, out-of-place, > human-embodiment-personification of a vulgar mecha... Mecha are NEVER vulgar... Well, except for my EVA-03 Bardiel, standing with mouth raring open in front of a model microphone doing its Axel Rose impression... > As of now, we are unaware of what causes this syndrome to manifest > itself. I believe it may be a direct result of a top-secret project > created by Bandai representatives. My hypothesis is that Bandai > released handful of models tainted with some sort of mind-control It..., it could be! Those teeny tiny little tubes of free (Free!) Glue they give you! Augh! > substance residue. Upon opening the model... at the first touch of the > beautifully shaped plastic... at the first inhalation of pre-assembly > model-aroma... the person is infected... Ah... there's nothing like the smell of "Bandai Mold Release Agent #12"... If they could only bottle the stuff! > Lastly, I believe this malady can be spread... the "NANDY-effect" It... it BEGINS! Ah ha ha ha! None shall be spared! Ah ha ha ha! > Probe's constant bantering about models awakened a part of me... It's like something out of a 1970's B-Grade horror movie! It's taking over the schools! It will be here soon! the Nandy-Effect! Ah ah ha ha! > I fear that, after all this time about hearing of and reading of models, > building tips, reviews, and picks-of-the-week.... I may be infected... I > drool over models more frequently... I have noticed that I myself have > shaking hands, mild irritability, and impatience...UNTIL I open another > box of bandai produced plastic... I find myself referring to myself in > the 3rd person.... Give in! (Deep Voice On) "Look inside yourself Ambrose! Give in... to the Ban-Dai!" (Deep Voice Off) > I... > (help me) > must... > (please help me) > buy... > (what is wrong with me?) > models.... > (i can't control the urge) You can't stop! Nothing can make it stop! Tell me what you desire, and I'll sell it to you! A few grams of Nadesico this week, a couple ounces of Evangelion tommorrow and you'll be well on your way to pounds and pounds of smuggled Gundam! And wait till you try "White Base"... you'll never stop! Ah ha ha ha! Noriega had nothin' on the Bandai Cartel! > Ambrose ca-ca-can't control himself... > Ambrose must order more models....More...MOre...MORe...MORE! > ARARARARARGAGHGARAGHAGHARAGHAGHARAH > AGHARGHAGAHGARAHG! > (fully infected now) You're one of us now! Ah aha ha ha haha! Always remember "A man who lives in a plastic house should never throw glue!"
If you like Probe's zany style be sure to check out his webpage: The Unofficial Prabal Nandy Homepage and his mecha modeling page: Crazy Probe's Wacky Mecha Model Reviews!

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