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| "Yellow foot on right"- said while playing twister |
| Chives, my butler, made me a pb&j sandwhich. |
| Chad, where's your shoe? |
| Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. |
| A person remains conscious for 15-20 seconds after decapitation |
| If I seem to give a damn, please tell me. I would hate to be giving the wrong impression |
| It takes about 142.18 licks to reach the center of a tootsie pop. |
| "Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows." -- Air Conditioner warning |
| Illinois, You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of “eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. |
| In an average lifetime a person will walk the equivalent of three times around the world |
| Lime Jell-o gives off the same brain waves as adult males |
| In Alabama, Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death |
| In Kansas, if two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed. |
| A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" |
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| "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!" |
| Open Water is the worst movie ever! |
| anyone who told you to act yourself couldn't have gave you worse advice |
| Shakespeare spelled his own name several different ways |
| Soccer is great! |
| him: i see me: do you really see? him: no me: you're blind! him: lol me: that's unfortunet him: ya me: i'm sorry maybe one day your sight will come back him: hopefully me: cause if you don't you will have trouble playing soccer him: true |
| I’m not your type, I’m not inflatable. |
| If train A was traveling 50 miles per hour and train B was traveling 60 miles per hour. How long would it take to get you to go out with me? |
| i hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away |
| Dont' be afraid to love not everyone will hurt you. |
| "And these mistakes you've made You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around"- Anna Nalick Breathe |
| Don't let your mind wonder, it's far too small to be out on its own. |
| You've got the brain of a 4 yr. old, I bet he was glad to get rid of it |
| Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? |
| sometimes things have to fall apart, to make you realize just how much you need them to fall back together. |
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| fire proof water..i mean water proof fire(said when watching a movie that had a torch underwater) |
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| Someone: I am friends with my friends(they were trying to say i am friends with my cousin) |
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| how many times do i have to flush before you go away |
| I tried to look at things at your point of view, but i couldn't stick my head up my ass as far as u can |
| Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller! |
| Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" |
| This page is the most random page you'll probably ever visit it has jokes, quotes, pictures, random facts, and tons more if you want anything on here just leave a comment in my guestbook THANKS! |
| WORLD CUP '06 "one game changes everything!" |
| I wish I could tell you But the words would come out wrong Oh if you only knew The way I felt for so long I know that we're worlds apart But I just don't seem to care These feelings in my heart Only with you I want to share |
| when life rains on your parade..break out the slip n slide! |