Series. TOS/TNG Pairing: Kirk/Data Code: NC-17 Part: NEW, 1/1 Archive: KFF archive, ASC/EM, WWOMB, BLTS. Others, please ask. Feedback: All feedback very welcome. firstname.lastname@example.org Summary: Data meets a handsome young starfleet Captain. Disclaimer: No characters owned, no money made.
Part of the Kirk-Fuh-Q-Fest
You asked about my experience with anonymous, casual sex. It occurred when I fell through that time portal while investigating the anomaly on Ufa Three. Since I calculated that it would be one hour, twenty-eight minutes and fifteen seconds before the portal would reopen to the correct time period, I decided to spend that time in a bar of the sort that is often referred to as a 'dive'.
Because of the diversity of the life forms which passed through Ufa Three, I judged that my unusual personal appearance would not create undue attention. However, my twenty-fourth century uniform might be questioned by those familiar with the Starfleet designs of the time. I therefore changed from my uniform into some clothes that had been pegged to a line of cord outside one of the dwellings - presumably to facilitate the drying of the items by wind.
Unfortunately, the clothes were an imperfect fit: the shirt, which was white and almost translucent, was too big, and kept slipping from my shoulders; the black trousers were extremely tight-fitting. Since I was unable to find more appropriate garments, I rolled up my Starfleet uniform and hid it beneath a rock, then entered the bar.
Naturally, I had no money to purchase refreshments, but I found an out-of-the-way corner and sat down to observe the bar's other patrons. My attention was soon drawn to four men at a nearby table. They were all humans, dressed in civilian clothing. They seemed to be having an enjoyable time and their shouts of laughter were in marked contrast to the sullen and furtive behaviour of the other life forms in the bar.
One of the men was particularly intriguing: watching him, I finally began to understand the concept of 'charisma'. He seemed to exude a confidence and vitality which made him the center of the group. I noticed that his three companions made eye contact with him far more often than they did with each other and they also found occasion to touch him frequently on his arms or shoulders.
One of the men lifted his glass. "To the newest -"
"-and youngest-" added another.
"-Captain in the Fleet. Congratulations, Jim."
The other men cheered and stamped their feet, while the charismatic man, now identified as 'Jim', leaned back in his seat and grinned at them. At that moment he noticed me observing him. He tilted his head and winked at me, raising his glass and downing its contents. I had no glass to lift, but I returned his wink.
Finally the other men stood up. "We have to go, Jim. Sorry we can't keep you company 'til your shuttle leaves," said one.
The man named Jim remained seated. "Don't worry, fellas," he grinned up at them. "I'll find some way to occupy my time."
"Oh ho! I know that look. Who's your next conquest?" asked one man, looking around the bar.
"The tomcat is on the prowl!" announced a second friend. He reached out and ruffled Jim's hair.
Jim's friends shook his hand or patted him on the back as they wished him goodbye and good luck. As they left, one shouted, "Mothers of Ufa Three, lock up your sons and daughters!" Within forty-eight seconds of his friends leaving the bar, Jim had slipped into the seat beside me.
"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.
"Thank you. I will have the same thing that you are drinking."
He signalled a waiter and ordered two drinks. When he finished, I observed, "Your friend referred to you as a 'tomcat'. I am very fond of cats; may I inquire in what way you resemble one?"
The man laughed as if I had made a joke. "Well, when I'm very happy, I purr," he explained.
"Fascinating. I would like to be there when you are very happy."
"I'd like that too." He shifted in his chair until his thigh was pressed against mine. "Has anyone ever told you you're very handsome?"
I accessed my memory banks. "Once. Seven hundred and forty-three earth days ago, a woman named Jenna DeSora expressed that opinion."
"She was right. People should tell you that more often."
Our drinks arrived. Jim watched me as he sipped his, one arm draped across the back of my chair. The fabric of my shirt slipped from one of my shoulders. He reached up to adjust it, the palm of his hand brushing against the nape of my neck.
"Your skin feels different from a human's," he observed. "A little smoother, a little cooler. Nice, though."
He put down his glass and placed his hand on my trousers, gently rubbing the fabric where it covered my penis. At that moment it occurred to me that he may be attempting to initiate a sexual encounter with me.
"I notice that you are touching my genitals. Perhaps I should inform you that I must leave Ufa Three in approximately fifty minutes. That does not seem to be an adequate time span for us to develop a romantic relationship."
Jim looked startled and removed his hand from my trousers. "Well, no, that's true," he said, "but sometimes the shortest encounters are also the sweetest. Think of me as . . . a passing ship . . . briefly docking at your spaceport."
"If I understand your simile correctly, you are suggesting that we engage in casual sex. I have done that once before."
"That's a relief. I was beginning to think your people had never heard of the concept. I hope I didn't offend you."
"You did not. You may return your hand to my penis, if you so desire."
Jim immediately pressed his hand between my legs. While his fingers traced the outline of my genitals, I accessed all available data on casual sex and on sex initiated in bars. These topics were cross-referenced with the words 'sleazy' and 'kinky'. I discovered a wealth of information I had not had occasion to examine before.
Although I am programmed in multiple sexual techniques, I have seldom been invited to make use of any of them. Now I was surprised by the number of possible sexual scenarios there were. Not all of them were appropriate for the immediate situation, however. For example, the French maid scene required a costume that I did not possess, and the Cardassian/prisoner scenario was not truly effective without a fully-stocked dungeon.
"Did you bring any items of clothing or accessaries which may enhance our sexual encounter?" I asked Jim.
He quirked an eyebrow.
I elaborated: "A nurse's uniform, pirate boots . . ."
"You like roleplay? Well, why don't we play Starfleet officer/mysterious sexy stranger?"
"I am unfamiliar with that scenario," I told him. "Which of us shall adopt which role?"
Jim laughed long and hard; I was not certain why, but was gratified to have pleased him. Eventually, he grasped my wrist and stood up. "Let's go," he said, "I know a place."
We left by the back door. It transpired that the "place" Jim knew was a darkened, garbage-filled alley behind the bar. He led me to a spot against the wall, half-hidden by a high stack of crates.
"Is it not possible that some passer-by will discover us here?"
"The risk is half the fun," he said. He unfastened his trousers and tugged them down around his thighs. He wore no underwear. His erect penis bobbed up against his shirt.
I found that I had difficulty overriding my modesty sub-routine which would ordinarily prevent me from uncovering in a semi-public place. Fortunately, there were a number of sex acts I could perform without removing my trousers.
I hypothesised that Jim might enjoy having his penis sucked. According to my databanks' information on oral sex in alleys, this would require my kneeling on the ground. However, such action would inevitably soil my borrowed trousers with the filth strewn across around the alleyway. I decided to modify the usual positions; instead of bringing my mouth to the level of Jim's penis, I grasped him by the front of his shirt and lifted him off his feet until his abdomen was at the level of my mouth.
I had erred by not informing him of my intended action. He seemed alarmed, and his flailing limbs knocked over a garbage receptacle, which crashed down and rolled noisily across the alley. I pressed him against the wall, and kicked a crate beneath his feet so that his toes could rest upon it. Then I waited for him to calm down. When he realised that he was held securely and would neither be dropped nor harmed, he stopped struggling.
"I intend to bring you pleasure, not to injure you," I assured him. "Would you like me to release you?"
"That depends on what you want to *do* to me," he gasped.
"I shall lick your penis and testicles, and then very carefully take your penis into my mouth. Do not be concerned: I shall not perform any actions that shall endanger you."
"Oh. All right . . . go ahead then." He was still breathing heavily, but he now seemed more excited than alarmed.
I proceeded with the actions I had outlined to him. With one hand, I held him steady against the wall, while I used my other hand to gently stroke the flesh of his penis. I bent my head and softly nipped my way from the tip of his penis to the underside of his scrotum, then gave considerable attention to his soft, heavy testicles.
He moaned and jerked his hips forward into the cool night air. I returned my mouth to his penis, running my lips up the underside of it to the softly throbbing head. I took his penis deeply into my mouth and accessed as many relevant techniques as my databanks were able to provide.
While I sucked his penis, I cupped his testicles with my available hand, then reached back to press a knuckle against Jim's anus. He moaned and thrashed his limbs about, as he had when I had first lifted him off the ground, but he did not seem to be distressed, so I continued the 'blowjob' sub-routine. Even when I heard someone open the backdoor which led from the bar into the alley I did not stop, although I listened carefully, ready to grasp Jim and run off with him if we were approached. However, the person merely flung a heavy bag into a garbage receptacle and returned to the bar. Evidently, if he had been aware of our presence in the alley, he was indifferent to it.
Throughout the experience, Jim moaned and whispered occasional words of encouragement. When he ejaculated he made a noise deep in his throat which did indeed bear some resemblance to the purr of a cat. I was gratified that I had assisted him in achieving this state of contentment.
I released Jim and he slumped down onto the crate. There was a brief silence while we waited for him to resume his normal breathing pattern, then Jim said, "I'd like to take you in my mouth too, but I need to know that we're compatible . . . humans and, um, your people. You don't come . . . some sort of acid, do you?"
"I assure you that my ejaculate is not harmful to humans. In fact, it contains many vitamins and minerals considered desirable for human health."
He had none of my reservations about the dirtiness of the alley; he sank immediately to his knees in front of me. While I worked on overcoming my modesty sub-routine, his quick, sure hands exposed my genitals. He pressed his face against my groin and inhaled deeply.
"No scent," he muttered. He seemed disappointed.
I grasped the back of his neck and guided his mouth to the head of my penis. His lips clenched tightly around it and worked all the way down to the base before pulling back. He repeated this sliding action many times, smearing saliva across the shaft. He pulled away to catch his breath but soon resumed his actions.
I judged that his jaw may be starting to ache and considered asking him whether this would be an appropriate moment for my orgasm, but since his mouth was full he would be unable to answer. Instead, I announced: "In precisely one minute from now, I shall ejaculate."
He did not pull away, and when I ejaculated he swallowed it all. Then he sat back on his heels and said, "You taste delicious."
"And nutritious," I reminded him.
He wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "I have a few hours to spare before my shuttle leaves," he said. "Why don't we find somewhere a little more comfortable?"
"Regrettably, I must leave now. However, I have found our sleazy alley encounter most satisfactory and intend to repeat the experience whenever the opportunity arises."
"Yes, me too." He touched my arm. "I won't forget you."
"Nor I you."
He stood and walked back into the bar. I began to return the crates and garbage receptacles to the positions in which they had been when Jim and I had entered the alley. When I finished, I decided to leave by way of the bar, since I did not where the alley led.
As I walked through the bar, I noticed Jim talking to a slender young man dressed in black and seated on a bar stool. I caught a glimpse of the man's profile and noted his pointed Vulcan ear.
Jim leaned forward against the man's shoulder. "What's a class act like you doing in a dive like this?" Jim asked him.
"I am passing time until my shuttle leaves; I have been on shore leave and am rejoining my ship," the Vulcan answered.
"I've a few hours to kill too. Think of me as a passing ship briefly docking at your spaceport."
"I find your analogy inapt, however, your muscular physique is intriguing," the Vulcan observed.
"Well, good," said Jim. "I know a place we can go . . ."
I left Jim and his new companion to their anonymous encounter and returned to the place where I had hidden my uniform. I put it back on and returned the borrowed clothes to the cord. The time portal opened at the moment I had calculated, and I soon returned to the Enterprise.
Now that I have described my previous experience of casual sex, Commander Riker, perhaps we should continue our own experiments. I believe you expressed an interest in the naughty parochial schoolgirl/Mother Superior scenario, so if you will put on your school uniform, I will replicate my habit and spanking paddle.
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