| Title: Captive of the Soul Author: Yatzee Chapter 15 "Are you any closer to your answers?" Angel gratefully looked away from the cross at the front of the church to see the nun sitting placidly beside him. "How do you know I'm looking for answers?" "Everyone is," she said. "And I would imagine that you have more questions than most." They sat side by side for a while longer as Angel stared the cross down once more. How long had it taken him to acquire the maturity, the courage to do this? A century? More like two -- He'd left Cordelia and Wesley at the apartment. Cordelia was staying put in bed, although she had recovered sufficiently to flip through her Vogue and gripe about missing her commercial audition that afternoon. Wesley had roused enough to cook dinner for her; in the process, he had been inspired to rearrange a few things in the kitchen and had awakened Dennis' ire. After some pots had been thrown around, they had all three agreed that the time to divert their money toward separate apartments had come. "Dennis really needs his space," Cordelia had said from behind her bed tray, so easily that Angel knew, if it were up to her, the two of them might have camped on her floor forever. But those days were ending. Angel told himself to think little of it. He had long ago given up believing that anything was permanent. Besides, he needed a little space of his own. Maybe that explained why he'd ducked out of the house tonight. But he was not sure why he had come here, unless it was to challenge himself this one last way. To prove he had at least this much control, and that he could keep staring up at that cross. "No matter what I've done, what I try to do, it still turns me away," Angel said. "What answer should I take from that?" "Does the cross turn you away?" the nun said. "Or is it something within you that turns away?" "It doesn't seem to make much difference," Angel said. "And I know that you spoke the truth before. This is the symbol of God's love. And this love that's supposed to claim the whole world -- there's no place in it for me." "God's love comes to us in many forms," the nun said. "And it comes to everyone. The challenge is to recognize it." "I don't know about that," Angel said, turning away from the cross at last. He pulled his coat around him as he rose to go. "God understands what I am." ************** THE END ************** (c)Copyright Yatzee "Captive of the Soul" Chapters 1-15, January 4, 2003. |