| Title: Brooding California Author: Priscilla Chapter 12: With You You're gonna laugh; hell, I laughed until tears streamed down my face and became sobs. Of course he was gone by the time I woke up. The rustled sheets and the aching between my legs the only reminder that he'd actually been there at all. He wrote me this note, this unbelievably cryptic note, saying something to the consistency of 'I have some things to take care of back home, and when it's all over, I'll come back to you.' Dada yada yada...... I cried all day that day, and then I wiped my tears, folded the note and stuffed it under my pillow, and got up to go work. You may think that I'm strong for that, and I may agree with you on some level. But you have to understand, it was not a calculated move to get up from that bed and go on with my merry way. Oh no, it was more like something snapped and suddenly I was a machine, capable of doing only the necessary things to get me through the day. That was six months ago, and no, I haven't received a word from Milo. It's funny actually how you try so hard to forget things that sometimes that they actually do go away, and I think that's what's happened with me. My life is great right now. It almost seems that everything is falling into place: The band, the family, (I've recently found the guts to contact my parents and I'm glad to say that I have a family again.) all that's missing is the right guy, and I'm still looking for that one. ********** "You see I cannot be forsaken, for I am not the only one. We walk among you feeding, raping. Must we hide from everyone.....everyone." Slowly the music drifted away as we put the finishing touches on the track 'Forsaken'. It was the last of three singles we were releasing in the Soundtrack to the book-into-movie remake of Anne Rice's The Vampire Armand. I was completely psyched when we were asked to do it. "Alright guys that sounded great. How about we take that lunch break now? Let's meet back here in an hour." Angel, our producer said when the song ended. I excitedly got out of the booth and picked up my coat and purse on my way down to the elevators. I was starving. "Ms. Wallace?" I heard someone call my name right before I pressed the down button on the elevator. I turned around, more than a little pissed that someone had thwarted my quick exit plan. "Yeah, Kat?" I said walking over to Maverick's receptionist, Katherine. She smiled apologetically and handed me a note. "A young man called and left this message for you a couple of minutes ago. I tried to get you, but your manager informed me that you were already in the recording booth." I nodded in response as I read the short note and tried to make some sense of it. "Did he leave a name or number where I could reach him?" I asked, possibilities of who the person could be running around in my mind. "No, nothing. I'm sorry." Katherine said shaking her head. "Ok, that's Kat." I said before making my way back to the elevator. On my way down, I continued wracking my brain over who this person could be, but I still thought of no one in particular. The note said to meet whomever this was at Sal's Diner. I knew that place well and loved Sal's chocolate chip cheesecake. It was probably a little stupid of me to be going alone, I mean this guy could turn out to be some psychotic fan with a hard on, but it was only a few blocks away and that was good exercise to burn fat off for the cheesecake. The door jingled as I opened it and walked into Sal's Diner. I looked around and noticed that the place was oddly deserted with only a couple of patrons sitting over by the far wall. A large smile broke out on Sal's face when he spotted me and I smiled back. "Hey you, how you been kiddo?" He asked as he wiped down the counter. I shrugged my shoulders, still smiling. I'd met Sal on my first weekend in New York on one of my many walks. You know the ones, I don't really have any place in mind to go I'm just walking and end up getting lost most of the time. "I'm doin' alright Sal. How you been?" "Hanging in there kid, just hanging in there. You want the usual?" I nodded my head and thanked him before making my way to a corner booth near the back of the place. From this vantage point I could see who walked in and out. A few minutes after sitting down, a thin red haired waitress came over and placed a thick slice of cheesecake and a cup of coffee before me. I took a moment to watch the people as they crossed the street outside. It was late fall and starting to get really chilly in the city. It was my favorite kind of weather though, because it meant that winter was finally on its way. I was about to take a huge bite of my cheesecake when a voice interrupted. "How did I guess you would pick the most fattening thing on the menu?" Looking up I almost gasped, almost. I wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of seeing my surprise. "I should have known." I said shaking my head. Of course it had to be him, who could write a more cryptic message than Milo Ventimiglia? With a sign, Milo sat across from me. "What are you doing here Milo?" I asked in my most nonchalant voice. Of course I was dieing to know. He chuckled to himself. "I don't know. But it's definitely good to see you." He said finally bringing his eyes up from the tabletop to meet mine. "I hate to admit it, but its good to see you too. At least I know you're alive you know?' He nodded, and I took the opportunity to take a huge chunk of cheesecake into my mouth. "How was your trip?" I asked, once again acting like I really didn't care either way, and hoping to God that I was pulling it off. Milo shrugged and shook his head. "Alright I guess, I learned some things." "Oh yeah? Things like.....?" I wouldn't have admitted it even to myself then, but I really wanted to know what this trip that was so important he had to leave without telling me about had taught him. I needed that kind of closure to this....never-ending thing between us. "Things like there are women that can make you strong enough to face anything. And then there are women who rip your heart out not knowing and thinking they're loving you. That even at their sweetest they're the worst thing for you." I looked down at my half eaten slice of cheesecake and swallowed what was in my mouth. I felt the pressure behind me eyes, I knew the tears were there, that familiar stinging that he's so good at invoking in me. I looked up at his beautiful brown eyes and unflinchingly replied to his statement. "I would never do that. I would never rip your heart out." "Sometimes thinking about you drives me so crazy I wanna drive a fist through a wall, but I know I'm stronger with you than I'd ever be without you. I need you with me Annie." I closed my yes and let his words sink into my brain. He'd said the words that I've never ever heard him say and had dreamt over and over that he'd say. He needed me. And this time there was no shit-eating grin, no smartass smirk on his face. There was just an unspoken question in his brown eyes. Finally the dam broke, and the tears spilled forth. "I need you too." I whispered, unable to mutter another syllable. But then I didn't feel like I needed to because I knew he understood. Milo moved forward and wiped away the tears from my eyes. "Let's get outta here?" He asked softly, I nodded my head and stood up. Milo put some money on the counter and grabbed my shaking but warm hand in his before walking out into the brisk New York afternoon. Epilogue Sometimes I laugh at the things we put each other through. Like if we'd just come out with it sooner and told each other what we were feeling instead of playing nonchalant hard-asses, things would have progressed a lot sooner and with a lot less pain. But then I realize, it wouldn't have been the same if it had gone down like that. Because it would have been too easy and easy things end up costing you more than their worth. I'm a married woman now, if you must know, and I am expecting my second child this November. I'd never thought he'd propose. Something about Milo standing in a church that didn't seem right. But he did. And now as I lie here in his arms, feeling as big as a house, I can honestly say that I feel complete and loved for the first time in my life. |
| (c) Copyright, Priscilla Asencio for "Brooding California", Chapters 1-12 & Epilouge, November, 28, 2002. |