Don's Spanking Pages

Spicy Rhymes for Spanking Homes
The Spanker's Mother Goose

By Don A. Landhill

Copyright 1999-2000

The new-wed Mrs. York
Still flirts with other men
so he spanked from her thighs
to to the top of her butt
then he spanked right down again

Oh! when she's bad she's spanked
and when she's good she's not,
But 'til she learns to flirt no more
her bottom will be hot!


Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
spanked the girls and made them cry.
When other girls would like to play
Georgie spanks them right away.


Jack lifted Jill's skirt higher still
because she spilled her water
her pants came down while Jack did frown
and many swats followed right after.


Rub-a-dub-dub, three girls in the tub
and who do you think they be?
Miss Naughty, Miss Sassy, Miss Ill-behaved Lassie
Spank them, bad girls, all three!


Little Jill Horner stood in the corner
trying hard not to cry.
She sucked on her thumb, and rubbed her red bum,
and said, "What a bad girl was I".


"Naughty Girl, Naughty Girl, where have you been?"
"Sent to Dad's study for paddling again."
"Naughty Girl, Naughty Girl, what did you there?"
"I yelled and I cried while bent over a chair."


Mary had a pretty seat, its cheeks were white as snow
But everywhere that Mary went, her cheeks she'd try to show
She showed them off in school one day, which was against the rule
And so her teacher switched her well, and set her on the stool.

Little Nancy Etticoat
In a white petticoat,
And a red rear.
The longer she stands
The sadder she grows,
in a corner stained with tears.

Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders,
Warming her pretty little toes.

Her mother came and caught her,
And whipped her little daughter
For spoiling her nice new clothes.
(N.B. this one is unchanged from the original -- nothing more was needed)

Little Bo Peep from home did creep
So her Pa could not find her
She'll give out a groan
when she comes home
For a paddled tail soon will remind her

Little Bo Peep fell fast asleep,
And dreamt she heard a roaring;
But when she awoke, she found it no joke,
Her Pa: "I said cleaning, not snoring."

Then up he took his rattan crook,
Determined to make her mind him;
He caned her indeed, with strength and with speed,
And a scarlet tail he left behind him!


Hickory'd Dickory Wept.
The switch was raised and prepped
It swished and Hummed, then struck her bum,
so Hickory'd Dickory leapt

Hickory'd Dickory Cried
She's sorry, deep inside
The switch struck true, her faults she'll rue
on Hickory'd Dickory's hide.


Little miss Blue, come do your work
You are much too lazy, your duties you shirk
Where is that girl who can quietly creep?
Down in the basement, fast asleep.
Bring the paddle, a smack i'll try
When she won't work, she's sure to cry.


All around the "Naughty Girl's" room
the Dom did chase his Subbie
The Subbie thought t'was all in fun--
Pop! Goes the paddle

A smacking for an unmade bed,
another for a wheedle,
That's the way the bratting goes
Pop! Goes the paddle

Up and down the internet
In and out of Asssville
That's the way the chatting goes
Pop! Goes the paddle

Half a yard of leather fine
with punch and glue and needle
makes a slapper just for mine
Pop! Goes the paddle


As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives.
and every wife got seven smacks,
and every smack, had seven slats
and every slat raised seven hives
hives, slats, smacks, and wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?


Now Now, bad girl
have you been well-thrashed?

Yes sir, Yes sir,
three times past.

Once from my master,
once from my dame,
And once from a friend of mine
who works at Shadow Lane.


Elizabeth, Elspeth, Betsey, and Bess,
All sent to my study for making a mess
Every one of them got ten strokes, sir
But only ten times did I lift my oak, sir


Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell a naughty girl's little bum.
Now be she in corner, or be she in bed
I'll smack her bottom till it's bright red.


Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.

There I met a young girl
Who wouldn't do her chores!
I picked her up, and smacked her well
And made her scrub the floors.


Here I am,
Little naughty Joan.
When I'm in a corner,
I'm always alone.


Higglety, pigglety, my young Gwen,
Shows her legs to gentlemen.
I have to switch her every day
To keep her from such naughty play.
Sometimes nine, and sometimes ten
strokes will warm up my young Gwen.

-DAL June 1996 & Feb 2000

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