It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
And it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I am afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.
-Paulette Kelly
I have heard it all. From , "oh, honey, I am SO sorry, I am just SO frustrated from work..." to "well, if you hadn't done ..." or "if you HAD done..." or "you know I was just playing, I didn't mean to get rough". I got flowers, I got presents. The size of the diamond in my ring went from 1/4 Carat to a two and a half Carat in about seven months. I was told that it was my fault, if I was a better wife...I was the best wife I could be. But it is impossible to follow the rules, and do what we are told, when we are so afraid that we are going to get hit for a little mistake.
If any of this sounds familiar, even if it is just constantly being screamed at and degraded, because that is also abuse, please GET HELP. Tell someone you can trust what is going on in your life. Find and call a local women's shelter, or an abuse hotline. Just please, please, do SOMETHING to save yourself, and if you have them , your kids.
2. Each year an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to DV by family members against their mothers or female caregivers.
3. In homes where partner abuse occurs, children are 1,500 times more likely to be victims as well.
4. 40-60% of men who abuse women also abuse children.
5. Violence against women occurs in 20% of dating couples.
6. Victims of DV report the abuse takes many forms:insults, humiliation, monitoring the victim's movements, isolation from family and friends,suicide threats, threats against family or property, physical or sexual abuse. Abusers also blame their victims for the abuse, or used jealousy as an excuse.
7. Female victims of violence are 2.5 times more likely to be injured when the violence is committed by an intimate than when committed by a stranger.
8. Between 1 and 4 million women in America are victims of domestic violence in a 12-month period.
9. 28% of all violence against women is committed by an intimate annually. In contrast, 5% of violence against men is committed by an intimate annually.
10. In 1993, 575,000 men were arrested for committing a violent act against women. 49, 000 women were arrested for committing a violent act against men.
11. Domestic violence is statitically consistant across racial and ethnic boundaries.
12. Women 19-29 report more incidents of abuse than any other age group.
13. 90-95% of domestic violence victims are women. As many as 95% of abusers are men.
14. Much violence of females against men is in self-defense, and there is far less incidents of injury.
15. 70% of homicides resulting from intimate abuse are women.
Violence at http://www.abanet.org/domviol/stats.html