Song is "He's My Son" by Mark Schultz



Dear Little Zachary Wayne,

We just want to tell you how much we love you. You mean the world to us. We will miss you so very much. But we do know that you are in the most wonderful place in the world. We know that you will be happier in heaven with Jesus, than you can ever be here on earth.

We want to be selfish and hold you in our arms, but we take comfort knowing that you are held more safely in God's arms.

We love you with all our heart. You will never be forgotten. There will never be a day you won't be loved here on earth. You will forever be our little Zach. We just hope that you will be our little guardian Angel and watch out for us, and comfort us when we cry for you, and just miss you.

We love you Zachary Wayne. We will always miss you and be thinking of you. But we will see you, one day, in heaven.

With All of our Love,
Daddy & Mommy

This is the letter we wrote to Zachary, that was put in his little casket.



We are the proud parents of our little angel Zachary Wayne. Zachary has 4 sisters - twins Elizabeth & Brittany, and Kylie and baby sister Mackenzie who was born 13 months after Zachary went to Heaven.

Zachary was born with true Potter's Syndrome - total absence of kidney's, ureter's & bladder. This is also known as Bilateral Renal Agenesis or Oligohydromnios. It happens 1 in 8,000 births. (Stat's given by hospital) This is something that we had never heard of, nor had anyone in our families heard of. It is something that CANNOT be prevented, or fixed after birth. Once an infant is diagnosed with Potter's Syndrome, there is no chance for survival. It is 100% fatal. Potter's syndrome babies usually only live up to 6 hours after they are born.

There is currently NO research being done as to why Potter's Syndrome happens. In some cases it has been found to be genetic, but NOT in our case. Our Zachary's was what they call a "fluke" thing.

We are trying all that we can to get some sort of research together, but seeing that it doesn't "happen" enough, they aren't doing any research. If anyone out there knows of ANYWAY to get some research started, PLEASE email us.





Our Thoughts & Feelings




God has given us an angel to watch over us. Although we would rather have him here with us, we take comfort knowing that he is in heaven. He's probably up there playing with all of the other babies, and I like to think of his other job as being our Guardian angel. And I'm sure all the Grandpa's & Grandma's are fighting over who gets to hold him next!!!

We don't like to think of Zachary as not being with us, we just like to think of Zach as having a new address - HEAVEN!

We miss our little boy so much. There isn't a moment in the day that passes without him in it. I hope he knows just how much we wanted him and love him. I just want to hold him in my arms and love him. He will forever be in our hearts & mind.

Zachary Wayne has touched more lives in the 4 hours he was alive, than most peoples lives can touch in 80 years. He has changed the way I live, treat my kids, think about God, and many other aspects of my life. There isn't a day in my life I don't wish that Zach was here with us here on this earth. It's a very selfish wish, because I know that he is in a much more wonderful place - He is one of God's own chosen angels. The 4 hours of his life on this earth are my favorite memories. I have written down all the details, made a memory book, and have his pictures throughout the house. I will do anything to preserve his memory and keep it alive.

Zachary has taught us many things. We had our 5th child, Mackenzie Renee, 13 months after Zachary entered Heaven. What Zach has taught us is to treasure EVERY minute we have with our children. He has also taught us to cherish everything that our 4 girls do. Good or bad.

If you were to ask us how many children that we have, we will most definitely not hesitate and say 5. Many people forget about Zachary and say "they have 4 kids", but we say, "no, we have 5." He may not be with us now, but he will ALWAYS be in our hearts. He has only moved houses. He now lives in God's house.

I think that any person who can teach you to cherish every moment you have with your children and not take them for granted is a TRUE hero, and that is exactly what Our Little Angel Zachary Wayne has done for us.

We have been asked by some if we were to have known that Zachary wouldn't make it, would we still have gone through with the pregnancy. Without hesitation it would be an absolute YES, ABSOLUTELY! The bond a mother has with their baby is no different when they grow inside of you than in your arms. Zach was our gift from God. You can't return or exchange a gift from God. He may have only lived a few hours, but we would rather have a few hours with our son, than none at all. I would want to feel him grown inside of me for as long as he could. I'd take any amount of time the Lord gave me with him.

Please don't EVER be afraid to talk to us about our little angel. We miss him very much, but this is the only way we will EVER be able to talk about him. Please don't think that talking about him will upset us. It hurts more when people dismiss Zachary and don't want to be "upset" about hearing about an infant loss. The more we can talk about him, and share his BEAUTIFUL little life with others, and possibly help those who have also lost a infant/child, then we feel that maybe this was God's calling for us - to help out others out there who have also lost a child. We are more than willing to share our feelings about losing a child and helping those who are just going through the grieving process.

WE MISS YOU & WE LOVE YOU, ZACH!

Love, Mommy & Daddy Elizabeth, Brittany, & Kylie and Mackenzie






List of
WISH I'D DONE's




Below are some of the things that we never got to do with Zachary. I'm hoping that this list will help those who are finding themselves in the same situation that Wayne & I were in. There are many regrets that we have, that we didn't get to do, and I would like to save someone any of those regrets because they "didn't think of doing that" - just because you weren't prepared or didn't know what to expect.

1. Make sure you take PLENTY of pictures - it may seem wierd to take pictures, and you may not want to, but ask a family member to do this for you. Make sure to also get a picture with everyone individually holding your baby. It is a picture that some will love and some might feel uncomfortable with, but you will NEVER know until you've given it to that person. You will NEVER be able to recapture that moment in time.

2. Take a video camera. This too may seem undesirable to you, but I truely would like you to think about it. It may be something you may never want to look at, because you are thinking it would just be too hard to watch. If that is what you are thinking, then have the video tape at somebody elses house. Take it to your parents house or a friend or sibling, and have them hold on to it. When/if you are ever ready to watch it, you will have it there for you. If you don't tape it, you will never have that option. This may be something that you really might regret not doing later on in life.

3. Give your baby a bath. Make sure you see your baby's entire body. Soak it up. You will enjoy it, and yes it will be hard, but it is an experience that you will be glad you had. I wish I could have seen Zach's entire body at once. He grew in me for 8 months, and I never got to give him his one and only bath.

4. Make sure to take home the blankets, hats, socks, ANYTHING that your baby has had contact with. (The hospital we were at accidentally put all of Zachy's blankets in the laundry - I will never have his "last touch" there for me to feel.)

5. Go to your nearest craft store and get one of those Molding kits. Take a foot and/or hand mold impression. Another treasure you'll be glad you had. In fact, make 2, just incase one should accidentally break.

6. Take a large lock of hair. The amount of hair I received from Zach was about the size of a nickel. I just wish I had more of it.

7. Request the hospital take a Baby Photo picture. These often turn out better because of the clarity of the pictures the hospital hires out to do them.

9. Keepsake box. Get a box big enough for all of the things mentioned above. I have many things in Zachy's box. (The box was made by my brother-in-law and is Absolutely gorgeous!). I have all of the cards I received after having Zachy, All his pictures (doubles), Outfit that he was buried in, Outfit the hospital picture was taken in, baby hat, a couple of blankets the nurses gave me because they felt so bad that his were accidentally thrown into the laundry pile, Crib Card, Misc. hospital papers with his information on it - stuff like that.

10. If it helps you, make a Memory Album. I have one for Zachy, and you'd be suprised how full it is. I have all of his pictures in it, crib card, tons of poems, poems family members have written, special cards, flower cards, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 year "heavenly" birthday cards and notes of encouragement, birth & death certificates, and misc. other documents. -- This is something your other children will find special when they grow up too!

11. Make sure too that if you do have pictures of your baby, get doubles or triples of them. Give a set of them to another family member that they can hold onto, incase something happens to your set. Or save them on a disk and put in a fire safe box. (i.e. fire, lost, ripped, stolen etc.).

12. Have all of your family and friends there. Talk with the hospital ahead of time (if you know beforehand that your child is not going to make it). Let them know that you want/need your family and friends there. Many hospitals are very accomidating to those who've lost a child. You may not want or feel the need to have all of your family or friends there, but they too, will fee they need to do something for you, and having them there, knowing they care, is a BIG help. They too may need to feel a sense of helping you. BUT ALSO make sure your get your alone time with the baby. Something that is just mommy and daddy time.



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