TomorrowBy Team Policia
"Fuck!" Chris shouted, batting at his arm as he slammed his shoulder into the front door at Castle Bam. He stumbled forward and landed face first on the hardwood floor, "Fuck," he mumbled again into the floor, settling down. He didn't have plans to move any time soon.
Brandon had been in the kitchen, pretending to look for something to eat, when in reality, he was waiting for Chris to stumble in the front door. Drunk, as usual. He sighed, when he heard Chris curse and fall to the floor, closing the refrigerator.
He stopped in the middle of the hallway and looked at Chris passed out on the floor, "Come on, Chris" let's get you to bed," He knelt down and shook Chris's shoulder slightly.
Chris batted Brandon?s hand away, "Please Brandon not tonight," he sighed, not bothering to face Brandon. He just curled up into a ball, hoping that Brandon would just leave him alone for tonight.
"You can't stay here all night. Just come to bed. Don't do this now," Brandon's voice was growing impatient. He tugged on the sweatshirt that Chris was wearing, letting out a heavy sigh.
Chris rolled over onto his back, revealing his bloodshot eyes and tired features, "What am I doing?" He asked, starting at Brandon's forehead, trying not to meet his eyes.
"This!" Brandon was gesturing to Chris sprawled out on the floor, "You coming home drunk, night after night. Look at what you are doing to yourself!" He was trying not to raise his voice because he didn't want to wake the other members of the household. He stood up, and squeezed his eyes shut in frustration, "Now, please? will you just come to bed? We can talk about this tomorrow?"
Chris sat up, his head was swimming and his eyes were starting to spill over with tears, "It's always tomorrow with you, Brandon! Why can't we talk about anything now? I want to talk about this now." He got up as well, having to hold onto the wall to steady his self.
Brandon crossed his arms and clicked his tongue, "Okay. What would you like to talk about?"
"Why the hell have you been so bitter to me lately? Why do you pretend everything is okay when I know for sure that it is not?" Chris slurred his words, his eyes blinking lazily as if he just woke up from a deep slumber.
"Do you really want to know why I've been so bitter?" Brandon asked, getting in Chris's face, "Look at you! You are an absolute mess! It's getting frustrating having to baby-sit you all the damn time and to be frank I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you."
Chris sighed and slammed his head onto the wood panel he was gripping onto so tightly.
"Hey, come on now," Brandon said, "This isn't a time for self injury. I just want an explanation. Or, I don't know, something! I want a reason to stay with you."
"I'm not reason enough?" Chris asked, not lifting his head from the wood. After Brandon was silent for a couple of moments, Chris shifted his head and looked at Brandon, "I don't have one," He turned around and stumbled off towards the stairs, gripping onto the railing, straining to get himself all the way up without tripping and falling backwards.
Part of Brandon wanted to go up and be with Chris, wanting to sort all this out tonight and not tomorrow. But, his legs grew heavy and he couldn't bring himself to do it.
Chris sat in his bed, his knees drawn to his chest. The sun had been up for hours and so had Chris. He could hear everyone rattling around downstairs, talking about their plans for the day while eating a breakfast that April had cooked. He knew Brandon was down there, fooling around with Bam, pretending as if nothing had gone on.
Chris got up and made his way to the bathroom across the hall. He looked both ways, checking to make sure Brandon wasn?t coming around the corner. When he was sure the coast was clear, he padded into the bare bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind him.
He went to the mirror and looked at his self. He examined the bags under his eyes and the reddish glaze on his eyes. His features were worn and tired. They didn?t have the usual edge to them as people were used to seeing. He turned on the cold-water tap, and leaned over the sink. He splashed his face with chilled water, taking a look at himself once more in the mirror before wiping away the wetness and turning off the tap.
Chris unlocked and opened the door, his heart stopping when he heard April calling for him from the bottom of the stairs, ?Chris! Is that you? Your breakfast is getting cold. Why don?t you come down and eat it??
He sighed, running his hand through his hair, ?Uh? yeah. I?ll ? I?ll be right there,? He said. He stood in the middle of the hallway, trying to think of an escape route, but it was no use. He knew he would have to face this someday.
?Well, good morning, sunshine,? Ryan said as Chris came down the stairs, a grin plastered on his face. There was no doubt in Chris?s mind that Ryan had been laid the night before. He was always cheerful the day after. He never understood why.
?Morning,? He mumbled, moving around Ryan, keeping an eye out for Brandon as he picked up the plate of food April had left out for him. Usually he would have some kind of witty retort to Ryan?s cheerfulness, but not today. He wasn?t up for it.
He took his plate into the living room, wanting to turn around when he saw Brandon and Bam sitting on the couch together, laughing at something they found on the Internet. Chris sat on the recliner by the window, hoping that Brandon wouldn?t look his way. He chewed his food quietly, giving Bam and Brandon sideways glances every now and again.
?Oh, man? Raab. You have to come look at this,? Bam was trying to speak through his laughter, ?And I thought Vito was messed up??
Chris got up from his place and noticed the hard stare that Brandon was giving him, ?Uh? actually, Bam. I have something to do?? he said in an attempt to escape from a possible disastrous situation.
?Dude, what the fuck? What?s gotten into him?? Chris could hear Bam mutter to Brandon.
He shook it off and placed his plate in the dishwasher after rinsing it off in the sink. Chris took his pack of cigarettes out of the pocket in his white tee shirt and tapped it on the palm of his hand, letting one slide out. He went outside, yawning as the cool late morning air enveloped him. He placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it, taking a puff. He relaxed as he felt the smoke fill his lungs and when he puffed it out, he watched the smoke float into the clear blue sky.
?You know I don?t like it when you smoke?? He heard Brandon say.
Chris took the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at it, ?I know,? he placed it back into his mouth and took an even deeper drag.
?Come on, Chris. What?s up?? Brandon asked, moving beside him and crossing his arms.
?What?s up? Does last night ring a bell to you? I may have been drunk, but I remember the shit you said to me,? Chris rolled his eyes and sighed. He was ready for Brandon to play the victim, he always was and Chris was always the bad guy. That?s how their relationship seemed to work recently.
?The shit I said to you?? Brandon was starting to fume, ?What about the shityou put me through, Chris? I worry sick about you all the time. Wondering if this is that one time you decided to drive home drunk, or if you were going to run out of money at the bar and start filling up my tab ??
?That was one time,? Chris said, stubbing out his cigarette on the handrail and turning to face Brandon.
?Yeah, but who?s to say you won?t do it again?? Brandon?s eyes were growing softer, he was getting closer to forgiveness, ?I want to help you, Chris. You just have to let me know what to do.?
?How do you expect to help me when you don?t even want to be with me?? Chris?s eyes were welling up with tears, ?Last night when you asked for a reason to stay? why did you do that? Shouldn?t I be reason enough to stay? Or do I have to make up some shit reason like ?Oh, I know I?m fucked up and you?re the only person that can save me?. I am not your damsel in distress, Brandon. I don?t need to be saved. If you can?t live with who I am? then don?t stick around.?
?Alright,? Brandon said, putting his hands up as if to say he were to surrender. He turned on a heel and walked back into the house. Chris didn?t need to hear anymore anyway, he knew what Brandon meant. It meant that he was done, but he?s been done before...
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