In Memory Of Kaitlyn Anna Fischer
March 1st 2001 to March 8th 2001
On Febuary 22, 2001 I was rushed to the hospital because I was gushing blood. The doctors thought that my placenta had seperated from the wall of the uterus. They did an ultra sound on Friday and noticed that I had lost a lot of amniotic fluid it was down to 4cm. The doctors told my husband and I that I would definetly NOT go full term. They were very grim and told us that our baby would not make it. They gave me steroids to help Kaitlyn's lungs develope a little faster. They told me that I could go into labor that day or 3months from now. They didn't know when it could happen. They were pumping me with antibiotics to help stop infection before they began, infection could send me into labor. That Monday rolled around and they did  another ultra sound and noticed that my fluid is now down to 1cm. My husband and I wanted me to go to Spectrum Health in Grand Rapids because they have one of the best Neonatal units in the nation. I was sent there Tuesday February 27. We got some good news at that hospital, they told us that our baby had about a 50-60% chance of survival because I was just about at 23 1/2 weeks. We held on to any chance that we got. The doctors continued checking the heart beat a couple times every shift. Everything was staying steady and that is what we wanted. On Thursday March 1, 2001 the nurses came into monitor her heart beat and noticed it kept dropping between 60-80 when her normal heart beat was around 155-160. They brought me down to the delivery floor so they could keep a closer look on her heart beat. All day it continued to drop and then go right back up to the normal rate. The doctors thought she might be laying on the cord or grabbing the cord with her hand, because her heart rate would go right back up, they were just about to let me go back up to my other floor for high risk pregnant women when her heart rate dropped and wouldn't go back up right away. During the next few minutes her heart rate started to climb back up. The doctor came into to talk to us and gave us several options, we could do a ceserean and deliver her if she continues to drop or we can take the chance of keeping her inside me and risk her dieing inside. We chose the c-section. We figured she had a better chance if she was delivered. So the next time her hear rate dropped and didn't go back up immediately they bring me in for the cesarean. Around 7:00pm they wheeled me in to get me ready for the surgery. At 7:21pm our little girl was born wieghing only 14oz. A baby at the age usually weighs around 1.3-1.5lbs. I don't think the doctors would have delivered her if they knew how little she actually was. The doctor only gave her a few hours to live. We truely believed that she was a miracle baby because she was doing so well, her venilators were turned down a few days later, she went off her antibiotics for a few days because she didn't need them anymore. We knew she was still in her honeymoon period but we were still preying. On Monday she was put on the high frequency venilator and that was turned on to it's highest. That venilator started to stop working for her so they had to put her on the oscillating venilator. On Thursday March 7 she started to go down hill. My husband and I deep down knew that our little girl wasn't going to make it. But we truely wished and hoped she would. That night we had to make one of to most hardest decisions of our lives, we had to let our little girl go. The we asked the doctors that if we proceeded with more treatment would she be suffering and the doctor told us that if an adult was in her situation they would definetly be uncomfortable. We didn't want our baby to suffer so we had to let her go. The doctors told us the if we wanted to continue treatment for her she would have many many problems in life. We didnt our little girl to suffer all her life, we didn't want her to be miserable her whole life just because we wanted our little girl to live. We knew it would be selfish of us to put her through all that for our sake. So we did what would be every parent's nightmere, we held our little girl while she left us to go to Heaven. We know she is safe and happy and that is all we wanted for her. We miss our daughter sooo much!!! I would do anything to get her back in my arms and to hold her in my arms and tell her how much she is loved. We know that we were blesses to have in our lives a week but we wish she was here with us now. I know that someday we will see her again, but until then I know the pain won't go away.
We love you Kaitlyn Anna!!!! Your Mommy and Daddy miss and can't wait to see you again.



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